I sit here day after day thinking about how strong and useful I was. I enjoyed designing my yard landscaping, going to work, and in general being productive. Now that the accumulating multiple pain has taken over my life and made me more of a dreamer than a doer, I feel hopeless and a burden to my family. On disability no money and taking pain meds to get through the day of multiple pains while looking forward to a lower back shot every two months. This started out as low pain got worse and is now running my life for with out injections and meds my quality of life sucks. The only thing i look forward to these days is being with my grandchildren and interacting while having a feeling of childhood. I can let go for a moment then I pick one up and remember oh I had to wake up again to do this all over. Multiple pain takes the spirit out of a guy. The system really is a big let down. Any one have similar or same issues. I find I need to talk about things, any one game?
Any of you feel so damn useless having chronic pain?
Question posted by jacy53 on 25 Dec 2009
Last updated on 19 March 2025
The information on this page reflects personal experiences shared by our community members. It is not reviewed for medical accuracy and should not replace professional medical advice.
161 Answers Page 8
I am like you 3 plus years of pain every minute of everyday and it has been over 5 years of chronic pain. They put me on percocet then had the nerve to infer I was coming there for dope. I finally had enough the doctors do not listen you have to take control do not let them take the life out of you. I was 80 pounds overwieght and have lost 30 pounds and it has helped to some degree and the more I lose the better I feel. Light exercise is not only good for the mind, and losing weight but strengthens your body. I just cold turkeyed a 5 percocet a day prescription and although the pain in my back is worse I have taken my life back. I know the road will be long and it will be hard to sleep for awhile and all the BS that goes with the posion they give you then humiliate you for taking it. Remember you are a human being and deserve respect from others but give it to yourself.
Hi Jacy, Your comment was posted 9 months ago. I JUST got it. Hope you life has improved a bit. The system sucks, pardon me. Our physicians are not the least bit educated about pain management and how the proper drugs used the proper way are capable of giving us life again. Every human deserves a quality life, no one in todays society should suffer endlessly devoid of pleasure, meaningful relationships, the ability for gainful employment. I belong to several advocates like the American pain Foundation. They all have the right idea but don't implement it. I feel robbed. I suffered chronic wrist pain from a failed wrist fusion over two years ago. I can not use my right hand and on disability. I have not had pain medicine for over 2 months.
This is when depression sets in. I was always an attractive woman and now I cannot care for myself like I'd like to.
I am so happy to hear you have some loves and interests in your life, don't ever lose those. That's really all that keeps you going.
I know your situation could be so much better but please don't ever let depression consume you. Hold on to what you do have tight and never let anything come between it. Read my profile, I have yet to bttom out, although its coming and I can't psychically stop it.
I will add you as friend if you are still on here. If you add me we can chat privately. I am always home but often to sick and depressed to talk, but please don't give up on me. God Bless and Take Care .Sable
hello i just read your post and i wanted to say i understand how you feel i been in chronic pain sense 2006 i started out with 5 herniated disc in my thoracic spine . now im 41 yrs old and now i have herniated discs in my lumbared spine, thoracic spine and my Cervical spine compressing all on the left side with Multilevel chronic degenerative disc disease and much more i live on pain meds just to get me thru the day but they really dont help just easy the pain and im glad the shots work for you they dont for me . i sleep most of the day when my 10yr is at school . what upset me the most is i cant do what i use to do and i so tired of explaining why i cant do that or this to my family like my mother she thinks just go get a operation and its not that easy to do .. its an on going fight here.. I hope the pain is better today then yesterday .. take care .
Well Jacy you have had some great responses!
I sometimes feel as though; Is there anyone else out there like me, who is going through the same struggles? Then I read stories like yours and it helps me to realise I'm not too bad and I can get through this.
I have tried Physio lately, last time I had that was 10 years ago. But I have stumbled across a guy who does both Eastern & Western based approach. Ben Dalton in Ferntree Gully,Vic.
I am trying breathing technequies, hydrotherapy and just yesterday told by a guy buying all this Gelatine in Safeway, he used (orally) for Arthritis, about Moshe Feldenkrais Method - Awareness through Movement. I believe we are given these encounters to tap into resourses along our journey, it's knowing when to embrace them. We can get caught up with the pain, disappointment, anger and miss the love, the good in life, our beautiful grandchildren, etc we need to embrace, to keep on moving forward.
Take Care of you and best of luck with your journey.
Look it up on the web.
Hey Jacy, WOW! you put your story so well, it's like you looked into my soul. I did a very stupid thing by stoping my pain meds. Just got so discusted with Dr.'s after a few yrs. saying they are leting go of chronic pain patients. Boom to the street in search of another PC dr. my pain management does not ever prscribe but does a complete work up with MRI's, Cat scans etc. but then your on your own. I have fired more Dr.'s than I can count for messing anround with my pain meds. They INSIST on pain mgmt. then change the RX. What am I missing.? Are we not entitled to a life of quality and pain free existence? Since we all are in so much pain a March on Washington won't work but a drive on washington might. Anyone interested?
Joanne
My heart goes out to you and I wish you continued sucess in finding a doctor whom can help you. Sincerely kimmie1
i too feel the pain of being like this. i was once a roofer for many years. i worked 10 to 12 hours a day. now i just sit and feel sorry for myself, and i can relate to the feeling of looking back and wanting to be young again. i had a bad fall off a steep church roof which and ended up with L4-S1 fused together with rods and screws, and C6-C7 fused with after a discsectomy. i live in constant pain. i see a pain management and also a neurosurgeon on a regular basis. the lumbar injections helped but the cervical is totaly unbearable. i have a 17 year old, 7, and 5 year old children, also an 19 year old daughter who is living in another state with her no good boyfriend, and my beautiful granddaughter. so my friend as you can see you are not alone. i will talk to you any time you want and always remember that pain is just lifes way of letting us know we can still feel. lots of love and take life one day at a time, you are not alone.
I can totally understand where you are coming from. I really do feel your pain and worthless, I have that also. I started having health problems when I turned 30, (gallbladder removed, appendix's removed and endometriosis). Just as I thought things were getting back to normal I started having alot of side pain. I went to 5 different doctors... not one knew what was wrong with me. So I had to do research and find the right doctor, myself. After a few operations and almost dieing I am stuck with Chronic Pancreatitis, GERD, side effects from all the meds I'm on and just feeling like crap all the time.
I use to love working in the yard, gardening and just being outside. I would never be sitting down during the day... ever. I had friends and a great job. I had a husband and daughter, a house and a wonderful, happy life. BUT now... it's just my daughter and me in a apartment, can't work so I'm on disability. I have gone through two divorces and have to deal with this pain every single day of my life. Alot has changed and the only thing that I have going for me now is my sweet and wonderful daughter. Thank God for her.
So anyway... yes I can understand what you are going through. I don't have any friends and as far as family... it's just my brother, mom and dad. But I still push on everyday and to stay positive, somedays are harder then others. My question to you is... Is this all we have? I'm only 45 years old and my daughter is 12, how can I be there and teach her everything. How can we have fun and most of all how will she ever know just how great I use to be. Do you feel this way? Is there something else I can do? I don't have anyone to talk to... do you? I hope you do because that helps alot.
Well I've gone on and on... I wish you all the luck in the world and hopefully you are happy and have people around you. Good Luck, Stacy
I am 46 and have chronic pain. I have a 12 y/o and an 11 y/o. I am still married but I have lost my carrier as a PT. I am still in the process of fighting worker's comp. I had surgery on my knee last week and it is the 5th surgery tied to my work injury. I have great friends (I make time for me and my friends despite the pain) because I feel that if I am in pain all the time I will be in pain if I do things or if I don't do things so I am going to do whatever my body will allow and I will push my body to do just that. I still take my girls to all of their games (they play travel soccer, indoors and outdoors) and they play field hockey for their school. I make sure they have friends over all the time (I can sit on the couch will they are with their friends) or I can take them to the movies. I can still be a great Mom and you can too.
please don't feel alone, I too suffer from chronic pain. mine started 9 years ago this month, when I turned 40 my life fell apart, I have not been the same since. I was an active employeed happy person, within a month my life changed, and I have suffered ever since. I don't know who I am, my idenity is gone. I am fighting for my SSDI, have been for 5 years, I am still appealing. so don/t feel alone. I hate the meds I take, I hate how my pharmacy and doctor make me feel regarding my meds, they are the ones that caused it. long story but before I was disabled the strongest thing I ever took was a tyinol 3, now I live on very strong pain pills. I could go on and on, but I won't, please just don't feel alone
Hello. My name is Justice. I'm a male so you know. Anyway I'm only 19 - about to be twenty in one month - and have been in chronic pain for years. As the years went by and I got older, my pain increased.
It wasn't until I was 17 and most-notably 18 that I had really began to recognize that I'm in pain everyday. My neck is constantly in pain, burning and aching and crinkling. Cracking it doesn't help and I have had doctors tell me that cracking does help and is healthy while I have had doctors tell me that cracking only makes it worse and will cause severe problems in the long run; I don't crack for many reasons including that I'm not taking the risk of hurting myself more.
At 17 & 18 it's SO HARD to see a doctor and have them listen to you - I WAS DISCRIMINATED BECAUSE OF MY AGE by all the doctors I had seen but 1. The doctors thought I was trying to score narcotic pain pills since it seems that teenagers and people my age abuse and use them to get high. I had tried all anti-inflammatory meds by that point and none worked - I was realizing that it had to be bone pain, and the only meds to relieve pain from bone are narcotic opiates. I made sure not to request because I wasn't med-seeking but I was seeking proper treatment and care for relief. That's when I was prescribed my MRI.
Turns out I have 3 herniated discs and 4 bulged discs in my neck. Went back to the nice doctor and she prescribed me 5mg Percocet. They worked until I built a tolerance but then she didn't want to see me anymore and sent me to pain management and an ortho - both didn't do anything. Everybody scared because of my age!
Now get this, as I'm 19 this summer I break my back - 3 compressed fractures in my lumbar spine and a chipped vertebret disc. In the hospital I was given Oxycontin 20mg, Oxycodone 10mg every hour, and Dilaudid every 2 hours via IV. They discharged me after only being there for 3 days with a prescription of 5mg Percocet! WTF! With a broken back!
Anyway it took me a few tries but I found a doctor that actually listens to me and gives me what I need - what I want and what I need may be similar but they're not the same! My back is still broken after 6 weeks and my spine hasn't even started healing. I am being prescribed 15mg Oxycodone and 20mg Oxycontin right now as well as 350mg Soma and 0.5mg Ativan. My medications are working great, but my doctor is referring me to an ortheopedic to take care of meds from now on. I'm scared and I won't put up with doctors not listening anymore. I was tolerant with my neck problems but my back is BROKEN now and clearly I am in excruciating pain everyday and there's never a way to take the pressure off my back!
I really hate doctors. I hate being discriminated. If you're suffering pain that's in the bone the only pain relievers are narcotic opiates. That's a fact. I hate feeling like this alone in bed all day. The pills make me happy to an extent - they make me be able to move and get around the house. Without them I'd probably not be here. I am suffering from depression and anxiety too though... I think pain makes depression worse. All I have to say.
Yes life really does suck for us CHRONIC PAIN SUFFERERS!!! Nice way to get the whole site on here to man.We need to make a petition saying that CHRONIC CONDITIONS are MEDICAL CONDITIONS.LOL just kidding.Good Riddance.My Friend.
idk... that petition sounds like a pretty good idea!
My life sucks! My family wants to disown me because they are frustrated with me. I wish I wasn't around at all because I've got too much working against me anyway and I feel like I'm standing alone in the desert with nothing around for 150 miles, only a cactus stands nearby. That's what my friendships are like, cacti, because people can be so "prickly". I was told to get another father by my father, I'm too old to be adopted, he should have thought of that when I was a toddler or a baby, they abused me anyway, I think I was abused as a child because they didn't like how I reminded of the error they made by staying out too late and what could happen. I wish I had a different family, they don't talk to me they yell at me, they boss me around, they don't sit and listen to me they "brush me off" as if I were trash. I'm a disabled piece of trash to my family and anyone the know so I'm alone.
jacy53 I am right there with you. I was a PT for 23 years and then I was injured on the job. I went from been a full time manager/therapist that was also the soccer mom that did everything with her kids and took them everywhere; and the wife that cooked everything from scratch was the VP of the PTA; attended church every Sunday and taught Sunday school to the person who cried herself to sleep (if she could get to sleep) because the pain was so bad. I haven't worked in over two years now. I had held out hope in the beginning that I would go back but when one surgery turned into two then three on the back, and then with the falls because if the nerve damage in the leg lead to one knee surgery and now the next one scheduled for the end of the month, all because of the injury two years ago... you can see where I am going with this. I do feel useless. My husband is an adult and he appears to understand most of the time and tries to help me most of the time.
just figured i'd add my story. my lower back pain started in high school. im 25 now. i just started going to the dr's about my back pain last year. they put me on lorcet 10/650 4 times a day. the orthopedic dr said i needed a breast reduction since my breasts are a 38 G... yes G! lol i know that would help, but i refused to chop off my boobs until they ran further tests. they found that i have a twisted pelvic bone, arthritis, deterioration, and a nerve problem. my dr sent me to pain management. I HATE IT! they reduced my script to 60 7.5s a month. they give me muscle relaxers, and anti-inflammatories. i dont think its the arthritis. i had steroid shots in my back and its not seeming to help. i have pain everywhere else too. i can hardly get out of bed in the mornings. my 2yr old and 4yr old dont understand why mommy cant play with them like i use to. i'd rather be addicted to pain meds so i can function and do my daily chores...
i know exactly how you feel. I was a professional musician for 12 y ears from age 8 until I became disabled and lost my voice due to a tracheotomy and the ability to play keyboards due no range of dexterity.I was in the hospital for 1 4 months, and right before I got ill I was suppose to cut a debute album. In therapy I learned to stitch and won many ribbons, however now I have Carple tunnle that they cannot seem to fix so it seems everythingI loved to do has been taken from me .I got ill when I was 23 and am 51 and Istill feel A big part of my life is missing.
It all really began when I was a senior in high school. I got in a car accident, and right after that came down with Ebstien Barre for 6 month never attending my prom and from than on things just started on the downfall.
So I do feel I have lost over half of my life. If I was able to know how. I would really consider writing a book due to the fact I do have a rare illness that took 8 weeks to dx.
dmlady
Please excuse any typoes!
jacy... you could have been talking about me ... except for a couple different details ... i dont have grandchildren to make me happy an smile ..i do have 3 grown kids 19 20 an 25 ... an they dont make me smile alot ... i feel most days i have no desire to do anything ... i have a flower an plant garden i used to love working in it ..now i just barely keep them alive ... i am also on disability ... so NO MONEY or not enough to do anything with but pay a few bills ... there is nothing that intrests me ... i know this has to be the depresson ... i take lexapro an it ant worth nothing to me ... i found this site by accident ... maybe it was meant for a reason because the one thing i do look forward to is coming on here maybe its because i can relate to so many people on here or maybe its because i think im helping a few people with some answers or comments ... it makes me feel useful does it you?because i am pretty much a stay at home person because of aniexty an pain i wish i could do the things i see everyone around me doing but i cant most days can you>... well enough of my boreing life ... take care an hope to talk again soon... linda
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