I sit here day after day thinking about how strong and useful I was. I enjoyed designing my yard landscaping, going to work, and in general being productive. Now that the accumulating multiple pain has taken over my life and made me more of a dreamer than a doer, I feel hopeless and a burden to my family. On disability no money and taking pain meds to get through the day of multiple pains while looking forward to a lower back shot every two months. This started out as low pain got worse and is now running my life for with out injections and meds my quality of life sucks. The only thing i look forward to these days is being with my grandchildren and interacting while having a feeling of childhood. I can let go for a moment then I pick one up and remember oh I had to wake up again to do this all over. Multiple pain takes the spirit out of a guy. The system really is a big let down. Any one have similar or same issues. I find I need to talk about things, any one game?
Any of you feel so damn useless having chronic pain?
Question posted by jacy53 on 25 Dec 2009
Last updated on 19 March 2025
The information on this page reflects personal experiences shared by our community members. It is not reviewed for medical accuracy and should not replace professional medical advice.
161 Answers
Hello, I'm in the same boat. I too feel worthless and a huge burden.
I too live with daily chronic pain. My problem is nerve damage and inflammation caused by the cancer treatment to that I'm on. I am currently taking Tramadol and Lyrica. It's helping but I get ALOT of breakthrough pain. I am trying to find better ways of optimizing my pain medication regime. I have also been studying Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. It too is helping a little bit by learning to align my daily activities with my values.
Hi. Yes, yes. I'm so tired of this pain. It will wear a person down to exhaustion at times. Now I'm older and would trade for the little aches and pains then nerve pain. I miss out on so much with the good times I hoped to be enjoying by now. Almost retirement age. Almost lol... disability sums it up and grateful. I look out the window everyday and wish I could be and do what I used to. Keeping it real. Take care everyone.
I am getting over radiation and chemotherapy from anal cancer (very rare and extremely painful!!). The radiation and chemotherapy have caused severe damage to my muscles and nerves in my back down both legs and the pain is pretty severe not to mention that I now can only get around on my electric scooter. Very depressed about the whole situation and already was bipolar with mood swings a lot. I can no longer drive because can't feel the gas and brake pedals anymore plus taking too many pain meds to make it safe enough to drive!! I have congestive heart failure, COPD and a abdominal aortic aneurysm that have become worse over the last several months due to the radiation and chemotherapy treatments that I went through. Needless to say that my depression is much worse. I live in Nevada and my family All live in Texas and Missouri, so don't have any family close by.
I have home health care (occupational therapist to help me take shower once a week). Used to have nurses twice a week but all they do is check my vitals, so they don't come anymore. I live in a large apartment complex but can't get around anymore so don't really see anyone anymore. Life really sucks and just have to make it one day at a time.
I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOUR GOING THROUGH!
PAIN CHANGES PEOPLE!
I've had to start seeing a therapist for this too... it's a feeling of hopelessness and feeling of doom... I set or to lay staring at walls most days,,, I've lost interest in all the things I once loved and enjoyed , including family , hobbies, etcccc. I do good just to get up and put something on besides PAJAMAS all day. I HARDLY leave my home... I do not do well with public.
I FEEL LIKE IM LOSING MY MIND
I hear you and am with you, what your describing is the same as my life pain 24/7 waking up to this everyday is very very difficult. Your days are just on repeat. Living with pain everyday despite taking painkillers and them not affective anymore taking more than you should then running out it’s just awful. I’m sorry you are going through this and you can have a wee rant with me anytime
I love it when I'm out of pain meds and they treat me like a junkie.
Useless? Hell yes I feel useless! Well I suppose guilty is more like it.
My name is Michele. I have had back pain off and on since I was around 18. I managed it pretty well with tylenol/Advil and a heating pad in the beginning.. I developed an allergy to NSAIDS so in my early 30s I started getting steroid injections in my lower back. Fast forward to age 38 and I started to lose feeling in my hands and legs. MRI showed that my cervical spinal cord was compressed about 80%. Diskectomy and fusion of C5-6, followed by the same surgery for C3-4 two years later. Low back pain continued but a day or two of flexeril and a heating pad helped I mostly ignored it. I still had neck pain but managed with trigger point injections , occasional physical therapy and occasional pain meds.
Fast forward again a couple of years and my right leg would go completely numb if I walked more than a block. There were times that I would be crossing the street, dragging my leg and praying that I would get across. Another Diskectomy and fusion of L4-5 & S1. My new neurosurgeon took an MRI of my spine from top to bottom and gave me a whole list of things I needed to be aware of and told me to file for disability. I did try to go back to work after my last surgery in 2010 but my employer just couldn't make a schedule work for me so I gave up and filed. I was 44 years old. I loved my job - medical billing - but I was at a point that the only time I was relatively pain free is when lying down. The past 14 years have been a continuous quest for pain free living. I'm having surgery again on January 8 because the stenosis in my upper and lower spine are again causing me to lose feeling in my hands and legs. Now I get a laminectomy from C2-T2 with lots of screws and a metal rod. I'll most likely need to same procedure on my lumbar spine after I recover from this but, one step at a time!
I apologize for the length of this! Not only do I feel useless but I'm frustrated, angry and broke! The days that I let it get me down are few and far between. I consider myself lucky that I have a good support system. I do what I can, when I can and that has to be good enough. It might take me all day to wash, dry, fold and put away a load of laundry but whatever!
What I miss the most is human interaction. I really loved working and the occasional social life that I had with co-workers. Those friendships have disintegrated. Conversation here welcomed! Unlike this post, I promise it won't all be about me.
You just described me, except I have no grandchildren (& probably never will). My son is autistic, at 15 he's already bigger than me. How do I proceed? I finally found a doctor that is sympathetic, but because of state and federal laws, he says his hands are tied to give me anything more than what I get already. It's horrible that your quality of life depends on a pill, especially one that you need to take and have to worry if it will be in stock, etc. I feel you!! 100 %!!
I truly understand how you feel. I used to be a very active and vibrant person. Played sports in high school, ran semi-pro for a few years, kept a relatively clean house, and helped hubby in the yard all the time. In 2002 during a visit with relatives abroad, I fell down a flight of stairs shattering the discs between L4-S1. Have since had 8 back surgeries that did not help the problem. I had to go on disability and leave my loving world behind. Thank heavens I have a wonderful husband that has been my rock during all of this. Finally, in 2017 I had a pain pump implanted. It gave me back my life to some degree. I am still limited in what I can do as I also have right SI joint dysfunction. I changed doctors in August as the ride to my previous doc took 2 hours each way and sitting in traffic became much more painful. In the latter part of September, my pump ran dry throwing me into excruciating pain and cold turkey withdrawals.
Got some meds to help with the withdrawals but my system didn't agree with them very well. After 3 weeks, I had the pump replaced and found the previous one was getting clogged thus not getting my continuous dose of medication. Next Monday, October 23, I go for my post-op appointment. Hopefully, at that time I will be able to drive again and take daily showers. I am limited to sponge baths right now. I understand your feelings of hopelessness and not feeling like you amount to anything. I have been struggling with depression my entire life but this disability has made it so much worse.
I'm sorry you are going through this "insanity" and chronic pain too.
I’m so sorry and I do understand how you feel. I’m going through some of the same things. I’m currently in a phase of accepting things for what they are. It’s tough. Up until now I’ve had the mindset that I was going to find a doctor, a procedure or some new medication… blah blah. But I’ve tried everything available to me with no luck. Up until 3 years ago I was working 45-55 hours a week as a wedding florist managing a large wedding and event center. I was either standing all day or setting up large events. I never had any issues and never dreamed I’d be in the position I am now. I took one med for BP and went to Dr twice a yr to refill.
I came to visit my mom and never left. She had two falls back to back and I ended up being her caregiver. She is 82 and has Parkinson’s. About two years ago she had UTI while recovering from a broken arm. I was having to pick her up in and out of bed to go to bathroom. That’s when I hurt my lower back. I was born with scoliosis but it was unknown to me until I was in my 30’s. It never bothered me before. Now that I have two herniated discs in bottom 3 vertebrae it’s thrown my entire back completely out of line. I could handle all of it except for the nerve pain that never goes away and radiates through hips and down both legs. I’m trying to get on disability but in the meantime since I can’t work and have gone through all my money…I have no choice but to stay here and keep taking care of my mother. I think what’s making it so hard for me is that it all happened so fast instead of me getting this way over time, if that makes sense. I have so many things I want to do and I really miss working.
As much as I’m terrified of back surgery I’m going to have it done anyway as soon as I can. I don’t really have many people to talk to about any of this either. My daughters have their own lives and problems so I don’t go on too much to them. They help when they can. I hope I haven’t gone on too long. I hope you all have a blessed day! If you’re in Texas try to stay cool. It’s HOT here in Texas y’all
Dear jacy53
I know exactly how you feel. In my brain, I long to be the person I used to be without this chronic pain.
I have much to be thankful for, except I long to have the ability to do the things I used to do without this chronic, depressing pain. I feel like I am done with injections in my back that I never refused before, but am weary of them hurting worse than helping. I completely understand the feeling of being hopeless and long for the energy and feel guilty if I complain about my back pain. I have a lumbar injury and 4 past surgeries. I keep trying to tell myself things could be worse as I watch people walk without pain, and want to tell them how fortunate they are
I can walk, but I have pain everyday, and lately my ability to walk very far without pain is non existent. I have wonderful grown children and a great husband, but I still long for the independence I once had, and the days that I didn't have pain everyday. No one, but people like you and me know what it feels like to have chronic pain, and it is a medical problem that I feel is not treated as such anymore. I feel once upon a time I was a vibrant, energetic person that loved to work and do things that my chronic pain, even on a good day, prohibits me from doing. I feel like you do, that the system has let us down, that there is a group of people like us that are not treated. I also fight the feeling that I am a burden to my wonderful family, and keep hoping for a miracle, but know in my heart that this is probably the best it will get and have to accept my situation that is pain all of the time. So, jacy53, thank your sharing your feelings as I know how difficult this condition of chronic pain is basically overlooked by the medical system and I hate to be just pitied. I hope you can find more peace, as I am searching for it, also. It's difficult to discuss chronic pain to people who don't have it. I am glad they don't, but it is a lonely existence at times. I, too, get joy from my children, but wish I could be more involved and do more things with them. I hope I communicated to you, that I literally "feel your pain", and am truly sorry that you have the very similar experience. I, too, feel like I need to talk to someone who understands.
I can 100% understand what you’re going thru as I too suffer from lumbar issue, such as;, Scoliosis of lumbar spine (L4 & L5), also Spondylolysis, Spondylolisthesis, and Facet Arthropathy. Plus osteoarthritis.. and that’s just the spine issues…don’t get me started on the Cutaneous Vasculitis W/ petechiae & purpura. I have Osteoarthritis in both knees, and my back. I’ve taken so many injections but have read the more you take can cause more issues to the spinal bones.
You’re right as nobody understands our pain. I’ve been called lazy, fat and all nasty names as they don’t understand I can barely walk without excruciating pain, even compared it to a kidney stone pain, which he’s had.. but still don’t get it. I explained to doctors I’m tired of waking up to taking a pill just so I can get out of bed. Then the pain not easing during the day, which means more pills…and they just look at me like I’m a drug addict looking for more pain pills. This isn’t life for me anymore!
Damn
Thought I was reading about myself. I have it worse.i have no one to count on, I live alone.a big struggle. Pain is worse when I wake up.. Through out the day and evening, undescribable nerve burning pain in neck, and all over my back. It feels like someone's poking me with 1000 hot needles. Cannot enjoy one day. Dune have the energy to to be active.
Your story - I can relate! I would appreciate an update in regards to you having, or not having found a resolution to your situation? I was doing relatively well, to excellent, until about two years ago when the new "Quasi-Opioid" restrictions found me - taking away the medication regimen that had worked excellent for me for fifteen years: one medication, no euphoria, no need for break-through pain medications, and an excellent outlook on my future. Now everything has gone dark and dismal, with no hope in sight; I fear that it is now going to turn me into a bitter old man, thus discouraging anyone from assisting me in finding an answer.
It is becoming increasingly clear why many "Chronic Pain" sufferers have turned to street drugs, and/or even worse taken their own life by suicide! Thankfully I'm not at that point, and still searching for an answer, but as I can hear in your words, will there ever be a positive solution, or is this my destiny for whatever time I have left? Thanks for sharing your story, and hopefully, you found a positive resolution! My positive respect for you.
Hello, search for a doctor that believes in the good that the fentanyl patches do for people.
I sent letters to 28 different doctors in 2011. The 28th one said for me to bring my son in to see her.
Been going to her ever since.
Good luck with your search.
Jimmie57
yes I have and still do periodically. I have pain from vaginal atrophy since 2014. Now just getting treatment with relief. I also have lower back pain neck pain . Had 2 total knee replacements in 2010. Sometimes I have just cried. I have heard too many times mind over matter pull yourself up by the bootstraps etc. I recently began taking PEA and have been able to begin reduction in tylenol and advil.I too have been blamed for my medical issues. I set firm boundaries with this. I ride a recumbent bike daily do some yoga. Sleep is critical to my pain mgmt as well as stress reduction
Hello, I can surely emphasize with you. I'm confined to a wheelchair with chronic pain around the clock. I feel so useless, worthless as I use to be active, always doing something for my family or others. I've been on so many pain meds I think I've tried them all and none of them took any of my pain away, plus I'm sleep deprived which between pain and no sleep I become irritable and find myself getting irritable with my loved ones. I apologize and pray God forgives me as I didn't mean it. I'm pretty much isolated to my home, bedbound. What breaks my heart the most is my pain is so horrific I'm not able to have my children or grandchildren over. They will never know me and I'm broken from that. My granddaughter gave me an audio for my mobile ph about suffering. I've been trying to listen when I'm able and it seems really good.
I don't know if something like that may help deal with suffering, but I have nothing left to do. I have no life so I just eat when I have an appetite and smoke too much. My heart and prayers go out to you and all who is suffering.
rainbow myst
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