I sit here day after day thinking about how strong and useful I was. I enjoyed designing my yard landscaping, going to work, and in general being productive. Now that the accumulating multiple pain has taken over my life and made me more of a dreamer than a doer, I feel hopeless and a burden to my family. On disability no money and taking pain meds to get through the day of multiple pains while looking forward to a lower back shot every two months. This started out as low pain got worse and is now running my life for with out injections and meds my quality of life sucks. The only thing i look forward to these days is being with my grandchildren and interacting while having a feeling of childhood. I can let go for a moment then I pick one up and remember oh I had to wake up again to do this all over. Multiple pain takes the spirit out of a guy. The system really is a big let down. Any one have similar or same issues. I find I need to talk about things, any one game?
Any of you feel so damn useless having chronic pain?
Question posted by jacy53 on 25 Dec 2009
Last updated on 19 March 2025 (6 weeks ago) by BRRMARS
The information on this page reflects personal experiences shared by our community members. It is not reviewed for medical accuracy and should not replace professional medical advice.
161 Answers Page 7
oh boy do i. i have had chronic back pain 4 back surgeries 3 of them fusions all within the last 11 years so all of my thirties. i have two children 12 and 18, my 12 yr old has never known mom without pain, she doesn't know what a real mom is like. i cant do alot of things other moms do, i cant take long walks, sit for a long time, run, go on roller coasters. you just feel like a complete falilure, it's like why am i even here just taking up space and breathing someone else air. and your right it's like i goto sleep when i can and wake up saying i have to do this again at the age of 39 and having problem since i was 28 i have had no life. ouch. im on so many meds its insane and i cant funtion without them that is even worse at what little function im able to do. GRRRRR what to do. anywho nice venting if you would like to vent some more feel free. amber
Hey I am 32 years old and almost 2 years ago while I was loading my snowmobile on the back of a friends truck I ended up crushing my T12 and tore all the muscles off my lower back.For my pain management my doctor put me on Oxycodone 5mg tablets and OxyContin 20mg tablets extended release to help with the pain.I know how you feel because I constantly wake up every night in chronic pain and have to get up and take my medicine to relieve my pain.I used to love going outside and playing baseball with my now 6 year old son and can't even do that with out being in constant pain and it really sucks.My entire life I've built houses,worked on cars,layed tile and now have a hard time picking my children up.My doctor tells me that I am not disabled and that I can go out and get a job,but I have limitations as to what I can do.But even to get a job at McDonalds or even Dunkin Donuts you need to be able to lift the minimum of 30lbs.And with the ...
recession the way it is it's hard to find a job being partially disabled.I know exactly how you feel about not being able to do the things that you love to do and used to be able to do.Now I have a new baby on the way and am couch surfing,have no money,and no job.I wish the best of luck to you,hope your pain gets better and if you ever need someone to talk to that knows what you are going through
Yes Yes Yes.
But I beleive it was what I did, back when I was strong. OH, and do I ever wish for my old figure.
I ache all over, at one point in the day. Now it feels like I have tendonistis in my fingers and thumbs.
I wrecked my body by waitressing - which entalis speed walking at least ten miles a night (I worked in big restaurants), and did I really have to take a flying leap, instead of walking down the steps. At this time, in my yute, I also snow skied with brutality, and went to the gym for an hour at at time, if not two. I actually used to jog.
I'd even do it when suicidal.
Hi my name is Sandy and I can feel your pain and frustration for I do don't know who I am anymore, after my back injury from work and now taking all these meds..I feel like a guinna pig... for they have changed them several times..I to sit in my yard planting one seed at a time so the flowers might bring me back for awhile... I want me back and I will do it somehow..I hate taking these pills... I never hardley took aspirn or any over the counter pills for most of my life and now I am bomb barted with this and that... and several times the dr's have made serious mistakes... and if I didn't reasearch it on line ... I would have never known... so I quit taking the tramodol... Just don't quit quitting Jacy, you have strong points and one good thing to do is write down how your feeling..you do get some idea on how frustrated you are and how much your holding in... did you know you could scream on paper... I did and I just paused and said wow...
where is this comming from for I am a loving caring person... I want me back... someday I will be off of these stupid pills... I would rather use exersice to relax then set around stone faced... God Bless you and keep you in his prayers... Sandi
Yes, I have been suffering from pain due to a MRSA infection on my thigh for over 11 years. I am on so much pain medication, it's ridiculous. I just took a urinalysis & it turned up positive for PCP. I was in utter shock. I had a surgery scheduled, now cancelled due to this test. I feel completely helpless & hopeless. I know I have never ingested any such substance, but trying to talk to my doctor is like talking to a wall. I really hope what's happening to me doesn't have to happen to anyone else in such pain.
I have had polio and then post-polio pain and I fell about a week ago and did multiple fractures in my back I know and understand exactly how you feel I use to be able to do lots of things, I even did some work in a chemo-lab but when this kept increasing and with the injuries the pain is so bad that you said the right words you work so hard just to make it through the day, I take Dilaudid (4mg) every 2 hours I have trouble processing thoughts and doing tasks that most people would just do, it is difficult for us guys and it does make you feel like you've been beaten down and had the spirit that you once had just about stiffled out of you, If I can help another person without causing them problems then I am sure glad to be able to do that, I hope you have a doctor who understands, I am fortunate to have one that believes me and they work hard to make sure that since so many medications bother me once I get into trouble they make sure the doctor see's me I wish you only the best I hope if nothing else I have at least been a source of encouragement
I am right there, I can't do anything it seems anymore. I can't be who I was before the pain. I see doctors and they don't seem to understand that I want to be me again... I have hade >20 x-rays and CT scans, and my back is killing me 24/7, I cannot find a doc who wants to (or will) Rx anything for me on a maintanance I am going to P.T. and seeing a specialist, but I can't drive without a norco... my situation is nothing new though. Any thoughts or any MD's who want to care enough to try something that MAY work? I'm in the DFW (Denton) anything as far as advice goes will be appreciated; I am 26 and feel 66... I don't know how much longer I can do this, much less see how my wife looks at me and I am a broken person. I need something, because I can't seem to do anything well at the moment. (3 years almost).
-- Frustrated and desperate in TX
I agree, we work all are lives and try to do are best, then injury or disease affect our bodies and it seems that our way of life has made us feel less of a person cuz we can't do what we are used to. I have worked hard all my life and now all the things that I feel I have already paid my dues to, like workmans comp, make it hard to get their help. I, like you feel the system sucks. Thanks for listening. I pray everyday for everyone whop has to suffer like we do. Hope you have a better year, I know I need one.
Yes I feel the same way I am in so. Much pian and since I'm a recovering addict the dr won't give me nothing for my pain on top of all the pian I can't do anything becsuse of myt back injury I got hurt on the job on top of all my stress I can't work they have not got my claimgoing
Due top the holidays
I have been a Physical therapist for 23 years, but for the last 2 and1/2 years I have been unable to work due because of an injury at my job that was compounded by a surgeons error. After 3 back surgeries with 2 fusions with rods, screws, and bone, and the addition of intervertebral spacers, I have been left with permanent nerve damage in my right leg and severe chronic back and leg pain and a list of meds a mile long. I have been on the receiving end of PT and I have had multiple steroidal epidurals. I have fallen several times due to the nerve damage in my leg that resulted in the spacer in my back shifting (requiring one of the surgeries) and one of the falls also causing me to tear the cartilage in both of my knees requiring 2 additional surgeries to have those repaired also. I recently had a functional capacity evaluation.
This lovely test told me that because each postion and task they put me through increased my symptoms, unless they find a way to alievate those symptoms while I complete task, there is no way I can return to work. This was a very hard thing to hear even though I already knew the answer. I am not the only bread winner in my house but I do take pride in being able to provide for my family. I do collect worker' comp and we would not be able to live in our house and live our lives the way we do if not for the worker's comp, but it is not the live style we used to live. I had to get a laywer to get the comp in the first place. It was a long battle and they continue to fight me on everything. Everyday is a battle! Yes I feel useless and if I didn't have worker's comp to fight I wouldn't have a job to do (it is my job since I don't have my career to go back to). I guess we all have to find a new way to be useful. I still have my children and my husband to fight for and fight with so I have to keep going. I will keep fighting even when I feel like giving up because others still need me... so I guess I am not so useless after all. Keep on fighting the good fight and know there are people out there that still love you and need you, so you must keep going for them. God Bless!!!
i feel your pain as well my friend i to have severe low back pain and 2 herniated discs at the age of 41. i was in fantastic shape and an ammature body builder and was employed as a welder and when i was put on a project in ohio i was forced to spend 12+ hrs a day on a ladder and now i feel like a helpless blob having to depend on everyone else for the simplest tasks. i have to get steroid injections into my spinal canal as well as trigger point injections into the muscles around my spine(those really hurt!)to try and get the muscles to uncramp and it hasnt worked yet and my quality of life is terrible and im about to become homeless cause i cant work and workers comp is not in effect and wont be for specific reasons i cant say here. point being i feel for you and i understand the way it is i took great pride in going to work everyday and now i feel helpless and its a strong blow for a man who is used to being a provider.
i would love to take anyjob however who is gonna hire a man who has to take oxycodone all day long just to be able to stand up?
Hi. I'm a new member and my name is bravegirl. I can relate to what you're going through with your chronic pain! If I may ask, what part of your body is the problem area? Mine is low back (4 bulging painful discs @: L2-3, L3-4, L4-5 & L5 S1 and a herniated disc- unsure of location). I LOATHE injections/needles. I've had ONE epidural which deterred me from ever having any more! The injection was worse than my low back pain!!! A bee sting felt less painful!! It's frustrating to no end. Your life revolves around the pain and worse, the painkillers!! I started on Hydrocodone 5/500 in 2005 by my orthopedic doctor and due to the severity, I've been taking 10-500 for around 3 years now. I HATE the euphoric effect it has on me. I'm NOT that kind of person, It's "not me". I take 3 a day AS PRESCRIBED, for medical reasons ONLY. EVERY 5-6 hours on the dot. I get about 3-3 and a 1/2 hours of relief.
EVERY day, the pain is there, no relief. Physical therapy has just aggravated it, but I still attended my 3x a week sessions. I felt maybe there was some hope. My diagnosises are: chronic low back pain, degenerative disc disease, congenital spinal stenosis, decompensated lumbar spine, terrible sciatica w/pain down right leg and lumbago lordosis. It's petrifying, but my spine is now an "S" shape! Yes, scoliosis, I've painfully developed! I'm here 4 u if you ever need me just too chat!! Hope things eventually change 4 u and u find some relief! Hugs!!
hi .. i have the same thing as u but also in my neck and middle of my pain i take my meds on time to no more no less. i hate how my life is going and im living with my mother now and she think's just move and you will feel better but that only makes it worse or i get all you do is sleep and i say well if you where on all these pain meds you would sleep to happy holidays to you
jacy53,
I'm sorry your feeling this way, I can relate in more ways than you could imagine, having a host of many malady's, I had a hard time overcoming that "useless" feeling, don't get me wrong, I still have a few of "those days", where nothing helps to give that one time I felt like nothing in this world could ever make me fell so completely set aside from the rest of the world. On top of having Crohn's disease, Systemic Lupus, Fibromyalgia, Ankylosing sponolosis *sp*? chronic pain, weight gaining problems, osteoporosis, continued bouts of forming kidney stones, Arthritis of my spine, bulging disc from my neck to my sacrum, Five spinal fusions, two Laminectomies, COPD, Asthma, I guess that about covers a few of my medical problem
Having said that, I have had many, and I mean many days I just wanted to toss in the towel and say to heck with it. What is this all worth is for, a continued cycle of Doctors, testing, shots, medications etc.
I wanted to just "give it up".
When I realized that the hand that was dealt me was nothing I could do to change,I started to take control of my life, and seek out the help of folks , like here on this forum, talking, getting input, venting, and just about anything else that would help me put my life in perspective. I have learned that no matter how tough some days can be tomorrow is another day, and I take what I can and have learned from everyone here, and it brings me back to reality. I can do this, I will do this, and I will not give up on ME!
I have a young 7yr old grand-daughter who has been in my custody since she was 6 wks old, and she depends on me, I won't let her down, and frankly she is he "sunshine" and bright light in my Life that keeps me wanting to go on, no matter how poorly I may be feeling. '''I wish you all the luck in the world and you need to hang tough, you can do this, never give up on yourself, many folks here will understand no judging from anybody, just pure unadulterated compassion and caring people.
My best to you and Bod Bless, please check back, let us know how you are coming along. OK... (((hugs))) midwestma
i guess i'm one of the lucky ones if you care to call it that! i have been in chronic pain and on meds since 2000 and my husband has been very understanding ! oh he has had times when my pain gets to him and he can't handle it ! but he is always there to lend a helping hand!
he made sure i had what i needed when i was trying to get my disabilty !and if i am sick or hurting he will and does take care of me and our house !and this is after working all day!
of course i believe what helped him understand my pain is when his back started hurting him and kept him out of work for two months ! now he know back pain is no fun! and he will be there for me when i have my 2 back surgery the 27 of dec.i am truely blessed with a great hubby ! he has stuck with me through about 30 surgeries since we have been married !
i hope you the best and don't feel useless cause your life is worth a lot and i pray that your spouse will come to understand what you are going through and how all of this is making you feel!
all of us who suffer chronic pain have felt useless at some point but with understanding and good pain mangement you will feel better about you !
good luck and merry christmas and my prayers are with you !
well i have had my 2nd ,3rd and 4th back surgeries !things didn't go as planned ! i'm still getting over my 3rd lower back surgery !first surgery was on upper back!seems i got infected after my second surgery which was to release pressure off my spine and clean up puss pocket this was done the day after my 1st lower back surgery was on the way home when nurse noticed i had a fever and blood pressure was up and had a knott in my back after m r i surgery the next day! got staples out was doing fine then out of the blue i was in so much pain ! doctor put me back in hospital was in 4 10 days durning this stay i had my 3rd lower back surgery ! got infection never found out what kind ! was sent home with i v meds ! no fun!!!
any way now i'm on stronger meds like fentanyl 75mcg and fentanyl citrate 200mg twice a day if needed for bad break through pain !(it's like a pill on a stick (sucker) thats last for 15minutes then pain eases !)and oxy's 15mg ,soma's 350 x 3 a day!ultram 4 a day! yeah chronic pain sucks but doctors are trying to make my life easer !just a up date !
I feel the same I think of all the things I did with my first child that I just can't do but want my one that is 8yrs younger it makes me feel less of a mother when I want to but just can't I have to ask my older to help alot and again I feel bad so much I hate myself when they want me to due things and have to say maybe later mommy is hurting too bad now knowing all too often later never comes mommy is always hurting too much I fear the will grow up to resint me I can only pray everyday that they know I truely do want to due everything I pray to find anything to control my pain not just for me but them sometimes I push myself to due more untill the pain criples me to tears I don't like that cause then they think its their fault I hope I find releif soon life can't be lived this way it's not right for any of us
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