... help put my mind at rest with this as I am starting to feel quite worried here. I have been abusing Tramadol on and off for 4 years now. I say "abusing" as I was initialy given Tramadol by my GP for a severe ear infection and found that some of the side affects was very beneficial to me - I never wanted to drink a beer and never felt too hungry. This was great for me as I have always had a slight weight issue (beer belly) and it helped me lose a ton of weight. I also had a real appetite for work. All i wanted to do was sit on my laptop, working. Finding new customers, cleaning up the books - all the stuff I usualy put off i found I had a real appetite for.

Because of this, I started taking Trams daily. I usualy take them for around 2 months and then stop, cold turkey. I have a real rough few days of brain zaps, fevers, sneezing and then by day 5 or 6 I am fine - better than fine actualy as I feel like I have been released back into the land of the living, and its an awesome feeling... Kinda like a "so glad to be alive" feeling.

I will then be tramadol free for 6 months or so and relapse into a period of abuse again, then go cold turkey. I have probably done this 5 or 6 times in the last 4 years.

This time however, I realy over abused it and I have been taking around 20 - 25 50MG pills a day for 4 months. I went cold turkey 9 days ago and as I write this, I am into day 10. The withdrawal has been very different however... This time around, there has been no fever at all. No sneezing. No laziness. Sleep does not seem to be an issue. I am very suprised at this as I have just come out of my most abusive and longest period with them. However, I just cant shake these brain zaps and I have a horrible feeling of feeling 'down'. I just cant get into a good mood. I cried yesterday and today also - for no reason at all. Usualy by day 5 or 6 i am totaly back to normal and feel totaly awesome, glad to be alive. This is day 10 and yet I still feel a little down, have no sense of humour, i am not great company and i cant shake these damn brain zaps... They are only slight zaps and not too often, but i still get them.

Im worried now. This is twice as long as i expected to withdraw and I just read something about brain zaps being linked to serotonin levels. Serotonin, as far as I am aware, is basicly the chemical which induces feelings of well being.

Have i destroyed something in my brain? Have I 'run out' of serotonin and I will never ever be able to crack a quick witted joke again or laugh out loud at something funny? Am I set to be a missery for the rest of my life? And do i have these brain zaps for good now?

I just have this horrible feeling that my brain is saying "serves you right"