I have been with my husband for over years, married for one year. Together we have two small children and one on the way but as of lately I cannot deal with the stress anymore. I keep thinking that the addiction will get better and one day he will change ans become a better person. He does things like spend all his money on his addiction, spend more time with his friends gettting high than with his own family. I pay all the bills in the house and I am the main caregiver for the children even though we are together. Just today he got over 2700 dollars and has been gone all day while me and the kids have been here waiting on him to come back and get us since 9 this morning. He steals from me, lies to me and has become so very selfish. All he can think about is getting high and how to get over on people to get high. I just dont know what to do anymore and I dont have the strength to keep crying everday.
Should I leave my husband because of his drug addiction?
Question posted by mm2012 on 19 Jan 2012
Last updated on 2 October 2019
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20 Answers Page 2
Run, don't walk to your nearest center for women, and they will help you get you of (and fully understand the implications of) this mess. I have seen this up close and personal as my sister raised her four boys and her husband used all their money (even stealing from the children) for 18 years to support his cocaine habit. She lost everything because she "couldn't be mean to him" and "cause it wasn't his fault". They lost 4 businesses, their house, cars, insurance, trust of friends and neighbors, herself respect. I know I am taking the hardline here, but you are still young, as are your kids. You deserve better, your kids deserve better! How long has he been an addict, did he hide it before your marriage? Has he made ay attempt to get clean and take responsiblity for his family? if he won't seriously try, save yourself a world of hurt and get out of this situation now! My God Bless and keep you and your little ones, Harmony
Amen Hrmnee! C
I totally agree with what laurie has to say. Your children & you have to come first. Here you are pregnant, & other children at home with you & he's out spending all the money you need to live on being selfish etc... A person on drugs has to make the decision himself that he is an addict & wants to change. Threats don't work. They might for a short itme, but then he'll be sneaking behind your back to do these things. You need to take action & have a plan in place for you & your children. I am surprised that being with him for years that knowing he was an addict you decided to marry him anyway. I'm sure you thought it would help & make a difference. An addict must make that choice decision for themselves, & added pressure usually doesn't work. Maybe losing all he has will turn him around. It's possible, but not probable.
Most addicts have to hit bottom before they can admit that it's a problem Apparently he hasn't hit bottom because you are putting up with it, alone & crying your heart out. Honey, it not fair to you, your, children & the one you are carrying now. The added stress on your pregnancy is not good for you or this baby. PLEASE do the right thing for yourself & this baby coming & your other children. Mke a plan & stick to it. Don't let empty promises change your plan until you see progress if it comes to that. I wish you the very best...
Drug addiction becomes a family disease. It affects everyone involved. While you can't force your husband into recovery unless he wants it, you can tell him the alternatives, but be prepared to follow through. Idle threats will only make the problem worse. I recommend you seek some help from an organization like Narcotics Anonymous. They have a sister group called Nar Anon which is for loved ones of the addicted. You can google Nar anon and find meetings near your location. Once you have a support system you'll be able to make wiser decisions as to what you should do. Remember you and those children come first. God bless you and I'll keep you and your family in my prayers.
Laurie
Laurie, you are always so wise.
Laurie Congrats. I too just recently put my husband out and it was the best thing ever. I miss him the old him because this drug him is way too much for me. We've only been married for 3 years. I remember last year NEW YEAR'S EVE sitting in church praying AND I SAID I REFUSE to go thru another year with him on drugs, well I moved into my apartment July 2015. He came along of course with the same promises and lies. I told him I was not playing and put his butt out!!! Now everything is my fault and I'm the reason we are not together. I'm just so happy right now I can't wait to go to NEW YEAR'S church service this year and speak into reality that 2016 divorce papers will be coming!!!
Congrats on taking care of yourself. Finding the support you need is going to be important. Recovery from this "family disease" is possible, but takes everyone participating. So bask in the knowledge you are on the right path.
Tough love give him a choice get better or get out his family should come first. He will come back if he leaves
Hello, can you convince him enter rehab? Perhaps stage an intervention?
I can only tell what I would in your position, I believe if you have made it clear to him what his doing is harming you and your children and if he does'nt enter recovery immediatly you need to leave. I would'nt entertain any thoughts of a reunion until he is a rehab facility or taking the steps. God Bless you and your family. -K
I was with my husband for 18 years recenly he went to rehab 2weeks later here we go again I left him and moved in with friends I had enough and im notgoing back
I have been with my husband for 18 years two small kids later, six separate times with him being incarcerated, once for 3 years, twice for 2 year, twice for 6 years and once for 4 years. Each time for his neglectivevways burglary, driving without a license, trying to be a drug dealer I support his habit and franking while driving. His parents are deceased, I'm the bread winner love him for the world but he is very minipulat and sneaky. He has even gone so far to steal my mortgage money. He only cares about receiving his next fix to get high!its sad and I have tried everything to help him and have him to love me and the family as I have done all along, for the past year and a half since my daughter was born we have become a complete fragmented family, he's not getting better only worst, he promised to me that things would change when my daughter was born, what a hoax and fool I hsvebeen once again, he is at it again.
I've had enough,,, just had surgery he wasnt even there with me and now that I'm home can't get him to assist me with home and the kids. Enough is enough... We have to put a stop to this type of abuse from spouses because if we don't we will never grow and our families will not either. They are weak people and we allow them to make us that way as well.
I'm not sure if I'm surpose to give advice or ask for it, but I must say I am going thru a extremely ruff situation , my husband is a user and he leaves and stay gone for days so many times I want to go search for him, but I don't even know where to start , I have been married 6 years together 9 and right now my heart is so heavy I have NO ONE to talk to , it's like I'm jus lost inside of a shell I pray each and everyday that he will come home but he hasn't came yet, I'm
left with the questions of , I wonder if there is another women letting him stay with her? How in GOD"S name could he do this to me when I"ve been nothing but faithful , loyal , trustworthy to him , he's been in and out of jail and I never left his side , I swear I jus need prayer and guidence to help me thru this , anyone I need help with this bad, and lord knows it's not easy when I love him.
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