I sit here day after day thinking about how strong and useful I was. I enjoyed designing my yard landscaping, going to work, and in general being productive. Now that the accumulating multiple pain has taken over my life and made me more of a dreamer than a doer, I feel hopeless and a burden to my family. On disability no money and taking pain meds to get through the day of multiple pains while looking forward to a lower back shot every two months. This started out as low pain got worse and is now running my life for with out injections and meds my quality of life sucks. The only thing i look forward to these days is being with my grandchildren and interacting while having a feeling of childhood. I can let go for a moment then I pick one up and remember oh I had to wake up again to do this all over. Multiple pain takes the spirit out of a guy. The system really is a big let down. Any one have similar or same issues. I find I need to talk about things, any one game?
Any of you feel so damn useless having chronic pain?
Question posted by jacy53 on 25 Dec 2009
Last updated on 19 March 2025
The information on this page reflects personal experiences shared by our community members. It is not reviewed for medical accuracy and should not replace professional medical advice.
161 Answers Page 11
i feel for you . i have had surgery and have a mass on my spine at c4 to c7 have numbnessand loose feeling in my arms and leggs . i need prayer cause i just know im going to end up in a wheel chair . i had someone call my dr and say i was not taking my meds i was giving them to my 14 year old son who happens to be allergic to most pain meds . now my dr may release me i had someone steal some of my meds so i had try make what i had last and it was not enough when the done a blood test to see what i had in my system . they said i had nothing in my system i know what i had taken should hve been ther but my dr is makeingeen able to me take urine test every other week and counting my meds it makes me mad that someone can find your drs name and call and make you get released . but i know it made me look bad not having enough to show up in my system . now i ll be in worse pain with the weather been so cold . i feel for you i love the outside and been able to do what i like to do . pray for me and ill pray for you
Just hang in there. It will get better for you. Do give up and do not think negative even thou it my look blink there will be better days. Like I said before. People that can support you when you're down. Will for some reason flip the script when you are in need of them. It happens all the time. And mostly the good people get hurt. You just keep you faith up and go forth. You will be in my prayers. And you is loved. Bless you.
Hi, I am Rhonda. I have MS 39yrs. I know it is not the same, except nerve damage. I just wanted to say how sorry I am that this has happened to you. Pain management is really easy to get dropped from, they are all running scared. So many of them in Maryland have just quit, or moved to another state to practice. I was released from a doctor I had a 5yr relationship with, because due to my MS I could not pee for a random drug test I drank 60 oz of water, and waited well over an hour, and due to bladder spasms that day I could not pee. I ask for the alternative test, and the woman refused(I do not know why I was not allowed). I had never had a positive drug test ever, but due to the fact that I could not pee, I was released??? I still find that puzzling. I have said a prayer for you and will continue. May your life be blessed mightily
wow. i'm not going to bore everyone with my story, except for the parts that might help. (oh, hi, everyone, i just joined the site today!)
i've lived with managable OA since i was 9- in fact i was pretty athletic as a kid, even competitively ice skated (low level). i believe i was 38 when they said the knee needed replacing, but i was too young. but that's only a ding in my problems. darvocet and vioxx helped me through that pretty well.
around my 40th birthday, i started training super hard, i confess, i wanted to try out for survivor! some how a minor back problem turned overnight into screaming pain. the worst thing of all of it was that i had an HMO.
and "crying will not help anything. grow up". seems i had radicapathy (sp), w/ pain down both legs. she sent me home with the allowance of ONE darovcet per day, and put in the referral for the first of many of those lovely shots.
fun thing about HMOs, they have to put in referrals for every procedure. so it took 6 months to complete a series that should have taken 2-3 weeks to finish. did this twice (during which time this witch threatened me with cutting me off completely if i didn't go on morphene which scared the crap out of me. i also needed a wheelchair, and a larger car to carry said chair by this time, but the HMO wouldn't pay or even rent me one, because i could walk ten steps, and i could go to the bathroom by myself. and dress myself. that was the criteria. finally they decided a radio frequency ablation would fix it, but it was considered experimental by health net. i had to apply to the state medical board for approval. turned down once.
appealed, getting all the paperwork together myself (luckily i made a friend in the surgery center, without her help, i never would have pulled it together), and got it approved. also, the witch PA abruptly "disappeared" and the anaesthesologist suggested i ALWAYS request is resident, so i got a little more pain medication. not enough, but at least i got to see the doc every time. so after more months, i had the RA, and like the other things, it worked about 5-6 weeks, and stuff started getting bad again.
come august, the "pain management" people pretty much kicked me out the door, saying they'd done all they could do. and that was that. i was still in a wheel chair, could barely walk from the driveway to the house, had no way to get get pain relief, and what was worse, my hope was gone. see through all of this, i at least had HOPE. in big, shiny, glowing letters in my head. oh, and booze. the only drug i could get my hands on. and lots and lots of sharp, screaming pain. i couldn't do anything, i couldn't take care of or even play with my bunnies. make my own food. couldn't stand and take a shower. and the pain was spreading up my back, down my legs, it was no better, in fact was worse.
'kay, i wasn't going to share all that, THIS is what i wanted to share:
we have the opportunity each year to change insurance, so that october, we elected to choose a PPO type. i didn't have to drive 120 miles round trip at least once a month, i could choose finally to see an orthopaedist (which i'd been forbidden, they were so sure it was neurological). so as soon as it flipped over in january, i say a regular family practice guy, gave him my records (don't even remember why i saw him, it had been pounded into my head i wasn't a surgical candidate, and by this time i'd developed a paranoid, clinical fear of doctors... odd coming from a surgeon's family). he was wonderful. his jaw hit the floor when i told him about the drugs i'd been allowed, and right away gave me a 'scrip for darvocet qid and flexeril qid, without flinching! then gives me a card for an orho, and i didn't want to go through that again. in fact, it took me 8 months to get up the nerve to follow through, and that was only because other parts were hurting after i stupidly got on a plane and was in so much misery i humbly borrowed 2 percs for the trip home from my friend.
what i remember from that visit was the sound of the MRI films snicking into the lightbox out in the hallway and a male voice saying "this isn't right" *paper shuffle* "this is really wrong"- that time with irritation. somehow i knew they were my films. i seem to recall there was an angry phone call from the next office, but i'm not sure, he made a lot of angry phone calls on my behalf.
new friends (i hope) not only had i been blatantly misdiagnosed (for 3 years) nobody that looked at those MRIs (if, in fact anyone else ever did) CAUGHT IT. and this man, my hero, threw me back in another MRI, painful as it was by that time, and was ready to do the major back surgery i'd needed in the first place. his first words to ME, were "i can fix your back!" and i sat there and cried.
so, what i'm trying to say, is, if you are able to, get that second or third opinion. if you have an option to change insurance, try that.
sweet jacy, if you are the one stuck with worker's comp, try gathering your records and scraping up enough money to see another doctor.
same to all you... my story is not over yet... but i wanted you to see where i was heading with this!
when i woke up from this surgery (lower legs in little squeezy things and not able to move myself at all in recovery) I STILL FELT BETTER. two days before, i needed a wheelchair to get to check into the hospital. once the orthodist fitted my brace, the PTs and nurses couldn't believe that i was lapping them around the floor. it was amazing. of course so was the morhene pump, but i was under my own power. and a doctor who know i was a drug addict. i also barely used that pump. at least THAT visit...
second opionions. even HMOs allow them, but it takes an act of congress. state medical boards work independently of the insurance companies. i don't remember, but there MAY be one doctor on the panel "watching out" for the insurance company's interests (and yes, i believe you have the same rights if you are on welfare, disability, worker's comp, and/or involved in a lawsuit. the other panel members are INDEPENDENT-- you have 3 doctors, and it's a 2 to 1 vote. the insurance people won't offer you this option, you have to ask them. you can also go directly to your state's medical board. and the insurance folks have to abide by the board's decision.
there ARE ways in a lot of cases were people can live their lives, at least without pain... that's what the RA would have done if their diagnosis had been correct, it burns the nerve endings. maybe this TYPE of thing could help with some of y'alls pain?
sorry i went on so long. i don't meet many people with chronic pain issues. and that little story only took up to 2005.
if i've overstepped any boundries, i'm very sorry. also very sorry if this is stuff you've all heard before. am only trying to help. i've done a lot of studying, been through 3 more different surgeries and a multitude of PT courses. i just turned 50, and a month later was presented with my first grandchild, who i want to be here for. and then there are the bunnies. i would SO love to have a job! i'd love to be off pain meds! i want to clean my house, to run, to cook a full meal without help!
anyway, may the good lord bless you all, and may you all sleep soundly at least one night with hope in your heart!
--buns
I just have really got lucky to have a primary who hooked me up when I first got injured. He was concerned for my physical and mental well being and wrote me out of work if i wanted it. Then the pain meds he has put me on. Great. I can not understand why you had to go through so much. My workers comp lawyer put up the fight and got me a fair settlement and found a judge to demand SSD give me benefits. Medicare is not a huge bennie but gets e through. They ow me 550.00 per month and he is still fighting for it. Imagine they are screwing me after all the years I paid in to it. The medical and government system blow. You should not have had to go through what you did. Well brave one stay well
This sounds a bit like my story, the doctors and nurses were mean until they did the MRI and then they said, oh we better get her into surgery!
It is amazing that we all have similar stories. I am more at the beginning. Have had multiple disc problems fir years, I'm 31 now. Over the past year it has gotten unbearable. Shooting pain, drives down my left leg, leaky bladder and sexual side effects. My girlfriend has left me because I am a shadow of my formal self. Finally have a doctor who is giving me 7.5 viciden that unfortunately do nothing. A friend of mine takes 100mg of methadone and gave me 10mg to try. Omg I finally had some relief. I could get by with 10mg three times a day and yes I know they work over time. Now I have to convince my dr. I wish they would understand we just want pain relief, just want to live, just want to get on with it. Well for all our sakes god willing they will listen to us and give us the help we need
Dear jacy53: I know exactly how you feel. I too am unemployed due to pain. My husband works 2nd shift so I am alone most of the day and night. He works from 2:30pm to 2:30am. I don't get the house cleaned the way I should. We just moved to TN so I don't know anyone. My son was killed in a drunk driving accident in 1990. He was 20. So I have no children or grandchildren to live for. I too am on meds for degenertive spinal pain and stress related migraines. Do you take anti-depressents or anxiety medication. I am on anti-depressents and it does help some. I also know about the money. My husband does bring in money but it is not enough. I had been on unemployment but my last check is a 1/2 check next Tuesday and then we are really in a mess! What kind of lower back shots due you get every 2 months? What kind of pain meds do you take? Maybe you should ask your Dr for something stronger. I am also on Methadone.
I am so sorry for the loss of your son. I have two daughters and four grandchildren and could not even begin to understand what you are going through. I hope you will not give up the fight of life. Please do not. You have your self to live for. Your son would want only the best for you, that being happy and alive. Well at least you have someone employed. My wife works part time at the YMCA and they just cut her by 6 hours per week. I am so alone with this. She always doubts my injuries are as bad as I show. This is putting such a strain on our relationship. Ya know I just went to the CVS for my pain meds. The store is only 5 miles away. My back is so painful right now from sitting in the car during motion while braking and acceleration. Just that simple and I go in to an acute time. I take ms contin for all my pain issues. It helps alot and i intend to stay with it for now.
Hi jacy53 - I m game I've been going through same thing as you. How long have you been missing out on your life? I do hope that you can find the right combinations of injections, meds, etc., to make you happy again. I have been like this for a long time. I have the chronic low back, neck, & shoulder pain, chronic pancreatitis, a brain tumor. recently had mild heart attack & mini stroke - recovered great & fast - but I keep wondering, "Is that all there is" (song by Mama Cass) I have a really good attitude, (not always) injections 5 times a yr, use celexa or Lexapro for depression, oxycontin or opana ER and vicoprofen or norco for breakthrough I also take I guess that's about as good as it is going to get.
my prayers are with you missy2
Phyl, I haave been dealing with this for four years now. Back, neck, left shoulder, nerve issues in both arms. As u read in the post I am fortunate to have an understandable doc. He hooks me up. I some times feel i do not want to do the meds but have cut back and it is better on the full strength. I get pressure from my wife. I see here these typs of injuries tear people apart I came here in an attempt to help understand why. I see people like u post and I suddenly realize yes I have issues but someone is always worse off. I say hats off to you for having such a positive attitude. I can not even say anything about my self, it just would not be fair to you. I will say that one of the first meds i was on was fentynal. The same thing it would release not enough or to much and then there was nothing left for an entire 24 hrs. I was told by many about the dangers of it so ended up on ms contin. It would be nice if you could hang on the computer a bit fore i would love to have dialog with u and be a friend. I can only type for a short while and my fingers cramp up but would hang in there for you Phyl. My prays are also with you. Please stay in touch.
Don't know if you saw my post but I have acute pancreatitis, one step away. I had two attacks within six months last year. Would love to chat with you. My email is kjayroe@consolidated.net or post or do whatever you feel like. I would love to talk. kimmie1
i for one feel very useless i'm waiting on disability i don't think i've every been this poor i've always been in the upper middle class and having to quit work the first of 2009 with no notice has sure taken it's toll on me and my relationship of 37 years. i feel your pain about the shots every other month i got one every month for 4 months then had to wait awhile for the next series now after 7-8 years they don't work so my doc. stopped them. at times i feel like he doesn't believe i'm in as much pain as i carry. missy2
I hear you on the they do not work. The first one I got was the bomb. They use 1 1/2 the normal amount on me because of my pain level. As time and amount of shoots have gone by I feel they get less and less effective. One I got did not do much. I got it and two days latter went on a very bumpy plane ride for 6 + hours and so it really did not have a chance to set in. I mentioned this to him and he wanted to stop them also. I went to another doc. It ends up they know each other and spoke and well so I am back at it with the same doc. Me 27 years married and 5 together prior to that. Man I really wish things could be different.
Ya know what scares me. We are taking all these strong narcotics. Whar happens if we get a terminal illness and there is nothing stronger to give us for that pain because we have already been through most of them. I really freaks me out
Hi everyone, & missy2, thanks for all the post that make me feel as though I have just met my new family/best friends. I"m sorry for all the suffering & pain I felt reading every letter. someone asked about being on the meds for back pain, building a tolerance and getting a terminal illness, I was diagnosed w/chronic pancreatitis which makes the back pain worse but the same meds & treatment work for both. I was diagnosed early due to other health problems but it will become pancreatic cancer and there is nothing more they can do. My ex husband couldn't stand having me sick all the time so my long marriage - gone, job - gone, the disability well that's a JOKE! sit down for this - $419 - but now I can apply for SSI since my ex no longer pays me alimony/maintenance.
This is for Phyl1206, please email me or post on this site regarding pancreatitis. I have it too. I would love to talk with you about this... kimmie1
Just a little note I was with Binder & B and the last suggestion that they gave me before I got fully favorable from the administrative law judge was to write my Senator. I sent a letter (email) explaining summarizing my situation, usualy your senator will allways respond from there constituants. A week later I got the determination from the administrative law judge ( I did not even have to go before him after my second no). That the determination was fully favorable. One week. Of course my Senator Nelson wrote back to me before the law judge saying that they were working on it. Next thing I got was thedetermination. I will vote for him forever no matter what affliation dem or repub. Of course my file by then resembled a set of encylopedias. If I had to carry those files then there wouldn't need to have been a determinition. I would habe been back in the hospital or in my final resting place.
I'm with you, I also think my doctor sometimes does not believe me
i feel the same way! I had neck surgery ( fusion c5-c6 ) last year and i am STILL in pain everyday but my doctor seems to think that taking two 7.5 percocets a day should make me feel good whick IT DOES NOT help at all
The word USELESS is common from what I am reading. I am only 48 years old am am facing the reality of being useless. Soon I know I will use my remote job and will most likely be in the same boat as you. Chronic pain has taken over my life and the meds that take the edge off effect my thinking and ability to function properly at work and in general conversations.
YES... I do understand... i was very strong and then fell through a floor..did the splits so to speak... broke my tailbone my back neck all my teeth and jaw.. so a while I couldn't walk... wheelchair and walkers..I didn't think I could live that way... after a few years of pt. I can walk ok..I said I would never complain if I could only walk... but here I am complaining... I just can't do my yard work plant my flowers... stand there for hours and cook..and I loved to cook... so i sit for a bit walk for a bit.. and lay down for a bit... thats now my whole life... and i can't pick up my grandkids either... makes me feel useless... your right it just take the spirit right out of you... how you doing now... any better... they say I won't get any better... but they also said I might not walk again... and I'm walking ok now... so they might just be wrong... I might get better... yea right... I think I'm as better as I'm going to get...
Sorry to hear you got hurt so bad. So are you really walking like around? Do you have to use a cane? I am dealing with it all some how. I feel a wamy will come soon it always dose, some frickin thing or another. I have heard many stories of doctors saying you will never walk or this or that and the spirit, and determination of people prove the doc's wrong to there amazment.
The pain meds just take off the edge. He said that is all they would do. I would think if i could take double what I do it would take the pain away but eventually I would need more, it is the nature of the beast. So I take what he will alow me and go for it. If I did not have pain meds I would loose it seriously go off the deep end. I have a good doctor that works with me. He is very understanding and willing to work with me on adjusting my strenght. He of course has been my doctor prior to the injury so knows my history and that I do not bull shit him. That is what makes it a great relationship.
Sunnyj2, I was reading old post and ran across yours. Isn't it ironic that we all have the same stories just different endings. Or should I say beginnings. I know what pain meds you said you were on, but if I may ask what strength of methadone are you on? I take methadone, valium and he just put me on a new blood pressure med. My blood pressure has a mind of it's own. Well, I wasn't being nosey but I guess I was. Would love to hear from you. Like I said before, I am a talker and I will talk to anyone about anything. kimmie1
Hi; Sacosam again. Talking about drugs BE WARNED! ! I just want to WARN all my friends here. When I first got PMR , I went to drs. and the hospital. Open mind and open heart was the name of my game. I was in serious trouble and I knew it. So when we started filling out the papers , I was completely and totally honest. I am an alcoholic. I also have ... 21YEARS... sober. What I didn't know is that alcoholics and drug addicts, are severely looked down upon as crooks who can't be trusted by society, and drs. etc. are heavy into society. Society says, and I quote... NO MATTER HOW MANY YEARS SOBER, IF AN ALCOHOLIC OR ADDICT IS GIVEN... ONE... DRINK... OR ONE DRUG... HE /SHE WILL INSTANTLY REVERT TO THIER OLD WAYS OF HARD DRINKING AND DRUGGING. What that means is that NO MATTER HOW UTTERLY HORRIBLE YOUR PAIN AND MISERY MAY BE... YOU WILL NOT BE GIVEN ANY SERIOUS PAIN MEDICATION. This is what I now must face, and it's slowly killing Me.
Yeah Hi; just wanted to stick my nose in to say I was wrong , not completely but mostly... We don't get help , PROPER and CORRECTLY PRICED meds. and PAIN treatment because of one allpowerful earth control... "BIG PHARMA"! I won't go any further as I don't dare. Use our imagination, and see how far it takes you ! ! Sacosam
Hi, I am amazed at all the comments here as I thought I was the only one who had problems. I injured my back at work, I received workmans comp for about 8 months and they did PT, MRI, CT scan, injections to lower spine as well pain meds, and nothing helps. I am on Hydrocodone 10/325 mg 4 times a day as well as gabapentin 600 mgs 3 times a day and meloxicam as needed. I need surgery to my lumbar spine and after a visit to workmans comp doc they say I can return to work with a 50lb restriction so they cut me off workmans comp, my surgeon gave me a 15 lb restriction with no standing or sitting for more than a half an hour. Workmans comp is sticking to what their doc says. My job will not take me back, because my job is very physical. The pain meds help but I can still feeel pain. So I tried to get a workmans comp lawyer but he would not take my case because I have no health insurance. I have deterioation of the spine and a slight herniated disc.
Julia: I realize that this is coming VERY late, but I just found this post. YOU NEED ANOTHER LAWYER!!! Go to a hungry lawyer who just graduated or went out on their own. sometimes these guys get too big for their britches and don't want cases that aren't cut and dry, as they have so much business and $$ already. Good luck sweetie!!
jacy53 Hi. Let me you are surely not alone and from your question I have found that I too am not alone. I know it seems that way when we are arould our friends and family becaause they can say the are sym[athetic and really meam it but they really have no idea what physcial, psycholgical and emotional pain is eating us alive. I too get my greatest happiness from my grandchildren. It makes me sad when I can't do everything they want me to do and they don't understand why Mum Mum can't do something but I can usually distract them to something else. I was very active I swam kick boxed did step aroebics and made custom cakes. My injury is to both my wrist 27 surgeries with at least 2 more pending. And RSD/CRPS as a result. And don't forget the anxiety and depression that comes with it. Yes I am game. Let's get started. Call me Barb I am from hiladelphia PA area. Have 2 grandchildren and two more due on1/31/10 and 2/1/10. I got my injury by fallin down 13 steps and shattered L wrist and fx R wrist and tore rotator cuff
I look for to talking with you and other's hope this helps some Barb
Barb, very nice of you to join in, thanks. Man it really is an eye opener when all is going well and wham. You got it quick no warning signs. I think of it like an car accident, bam no time to think about it. Unfortunately I had to sit at my desk for many months with heavy worry. What am I going to do I can not leave this job for a different one I can do this is already easy. Many days of thinking knowing what was going to come down upon me. The day of the EMG the tester told me right out what I would be up against. I could sit here all night talking about the passed and still be in the same place, nowear. The thing that off set the state taking me off heath insur today was my grandaughter came over to open some gits with her little red xmas dress on and a big no worry smile with a big many hugs and kiss's. She is 14 months, just starting to talk, then there is the four month old girl with her little red xmas dress on and hanging on me all day just wanting love and milk.
I am so glad you are getting away. I would love to do thst. My husband and I cruised at lease 3 times a year until my first grand daughter was born. Then if was all about Morgan we baby sit every day and still do but now there are 2 with 2 more on the way. As exciting as it is I am tired it seems like there is never any time for me. Don't get me wrong I don't have either of the girls today and I miss them so much but with 4 surgeries this year and my emotional breakdown I just want to veg for a while but I do feel guilty feeling that way and that takes my restfull time away from me because I am too busy feeling giulty. I create some of my own problems I know. I am so glad you are getting away. My husband is Air Force. He was forced to retire when his base closed in Pennsylvania. So we are both very young retirees.
Where are you from?
Well I will close for now talk to you soon
Barb
barb I am from Mass just east of Prov R.I. I can not say exactly ware because of the crazy drugies. When my younger daughter, was the first to move out we were empty nesters. It was so quite around here.
Now with the two girls and older daughter living in our in-law appt. it is so nice. I too find my self baby sitting alot, my wife will not do it like i will but then again she dose not get the head on my chest or leg with a little sound of love, so she missis out and I get the real deal. I have always wondered what it would be like to have grandchildren and wow i love it. I am hopeful you as i will get through this. I am very afraid I will have a real bad time once my money is gone. I only get $1024.00 per month and my wife with her lame part time ymca job only makes $444 per month well I cash out at $1,200.00 to make it up and only have 10 g's left so my bad bad bad time is yet to come. I know I will have to suck it up and find work and give up the disability. chow for now
Oh my gosh! You just told my story. I hurt my back but waited too long to go to the doc so couldn't prove it happened on the job. I loved to dance, shoot pool, ride horses,ride my bike, bowl, lift weights, hunt, wrestle,. You name it. I did everything with my sons. They don't really understand but I've learned (from the excruciating pain) that I can't do the physical things I love anymore. It's affected my relationships with my kids & all my personal ones as well. It was also a large contributing factor in my divorce. It's hard for me to drive to the store. I have 6 herniated & bulging discs in my neck & lower back. There are many days I wish I didn't wake up. My grandson is 3 mos. & lots of days I can barely hold him. Years ago I had cancer. I can't believe I came through that & now have to suffer like this. I ended up getting addicted to pain pills & am now on suboxone trying to get clean.
If your doctor feels that it is time you can move to Subutex do it. As Subutex now is generic so it is allot cheaper.Subutex is for pain. I have seen it work.. All I can say is WOW
I see i am not alone. Sorry so many of you are having such terrible issues with your body leading to bad relationships. Ya know in mass we have state insurance if you are not working or have very low income, you can apply and get it. I applied last year and got it so my doctors appointments were covered as well as any meds. This morn I got notice they are taking me off of it. They state at 15,000 per year we are able to maintain. We can not afford health insurance, it is 10,000 per year. It was paying my medicare premium for part D. know my wife will have none not a thing for heath insurance. I will only have extra help and some doctors visit stuff. I only hope this will pay for the back shots. If it does not I feel I will just loose it like screw every thing. I would love to start a non profit thing just for people who get injured can not afford care or meds. I am going to give it some thought on how to put it together. I feel for all of you and hope you can see some happyness in your lives. see ya
jacy53, kimmie1 here. See, I told you there are alot of us out there. Isn't it nice that this site is so loving and caring for all? I wish us all happiness and a pain free life. Even if we have to take pain meds it beats the alternative of living in the bed or worse a hospital bed. Have a great day and I know everyone hates this including me but try to think happy thoughts. My dogs help me... Lots of love from Texas.
I know God, he lets things take place and can work things so that lessons are learned. Each time I truely put my hart and sole in to God, nice things happen and things some how work out, but when u get hurt you are hurt and he can not help in many cases.
went to texas once, i had to go to corpus to a prison to work on the water heaters the co. i worked for made. Liked the pacific and the bay.
stay just the way you are and you will survive... you have touched me..kimmie1
I hear you on the taking pill thing. When I spoke to my Primary as this was ongoing and he suggested the long acting meds I was thinking I have seen and read a lot on people who get on them and there life is ruined. I also decided the side effects were worth the out come. Less pain or get so screwed up the pain dose not matter. So well I decided to take the pain meds, ya see when i was young i tried a bunch of different drugs with the same result each time, dead end and i ended up baby sitting for all my friends in fear something would go wrong and one would get hurt. Being the caring person i am this was short lived so when i had to decide yes/ no, it was a big deal. So far they have been very helpful. I am concerned with the needing a higher dose every 6 months or so, but at this point can not deal with the constant level of pain with out them. My doc said you will be on them for the rest of your life. I figure it beats the other way. Dead. I am so glad you admitted i touched you fore this brings a feeling of accomplishment. I hope to continue to do so Kimmie, ya see we have a bond, you were my first here. Please keep it coming. They make things big there hey?
Jacy, kimmie here, did I tell you about the meds I was on? If not email me or post something so we can talk. I miss you..kim
And yes, the whole State is Big... I love it here. Can't wait for summertime.
Ohhhhh Yes, this sounds like my story. Back in 1982 I injured my back. I had to quit work to work in another field because of the heavy lifting. So I got into bookkeeping... Boring... I worked for Bitches.. in a hospital.In the office we had practicing witches. A big boss that was not compassionite. I had to have cyst surgery and he told me if I took more time off I would be fired. I had a bloody cyst ready to explode. He did not want me to have surgery !! In a F... Hospital. I did have surgery. But my aching back. I could not work any more. I was so depressed. It took 6 more years on disability till I started to get life back. But by then I lost my love because of all the drugs doctors had me on. 11 1/2 years he stepped on my heart and walked away.
I work out in the pool and now in the past two years my low back is back in place. The discs are not longer buldging. My Chiropractor is shocked, and yet happy. I can not say I do not have pain, but now moderate. I love working for a Pain Management doctor and watch all the miracles that are happening in the medical world today.
I wish you the best and may you be blessed as I am. Get a companion dog as they too are listed as a service dog. They can go to the grocery and everywhere with me. They are there when pain is super bad. They somehow relieve much of my pain through unconditional love.
I hope the new year bring you some pain relief.
Thank you for sharing your story. Sounds like i may go through the same fore my wife is so tired of this crap. You lost your love. I may lose mine. Ya see I was doing well job wise, and asked her to work once my younger got done with high school. She never would and now if she did she would have been established for 5 years now and most likely doing well enough to get us by. Disability is a joke and i worked from the day I was 12. They are screwing me 530 per month. They are using the workers comp calculations and know it is wrong. They are pissed because a judge ordered my disability, so now they are messing with me. My lawyer is working on it. $530 more per month would sure be nice. Any way I feel so bad. It's not like I sit here day afer day crying to my self. I really tr to do physical things but the result (pain) overcomes the movment and I say screw it. Very frustrating wanting to do and know you can't or else. I went to the stores and had to do some walking.
You did apply for social security disability? Do, if you have not.
Also talk to your Doctor about Subutex which is used for pain. Not Suboxone
as this is for people who are hooked on pain meds or any other drug. If you need to ween off of the pain drugs you may need Suboxone first.
BTW: Mine was workers compensation too.
I did and have been on it for some time now. Like not having to be at work at a particular time each day but wish i was retired and had plenty of money to get by on.
I know this is a comment to an old post but I just had to say dogs are great company. That unconditional love is the best. I have two small dogs and I could not do without them... kim
Jacy53, its kimmie here, I too am on disability (SS) disability. And you are right it is a joke. But, better than nothing. I am blessed to have that. My husband has a good job and I pay more taxes out of my disability plus the insurance deduction I don't bring home that much a month. That is what makes me the maddest. I would rather be working. When I was, I was making good money. No telling how much I could be making now. My oldest daughter told me the other day that she was supporting me because I was on disablilty. I was so pissed off I had to hang up on her. She is not working. Hardly ever has. I have worked since I started mowing yards at probably 12yrs old. Then worked in High School and after that had the same job for 15yrs and then worked again until I hurt my back and had the surgeries. And, I still pay taxes every month and at the end of the year. Kids, they can be so cruel. Anyway, I don't know where that came from but we all have to rely on some type of income.
Hello Y'all, I just had to stick My nose in here when you guys started talkin' about Dogs. I've owned or had access to Dogs since I was "knee high to a grasshopper"... Cats too of course. I'm a "dyed in the wool animal lover and to be an animal lover is to be blessed by God. At present, I am between Dogs. My last was a Shepherd Mutt [I love Mutts] I named "Mr. Bum" because I got Him out of jail. "HaH"! He passed 1 1/2 yrs. ago and I started looking for another Mutt , when along came "Polymyalgia Rheumatica"! PMR
sacosam, you never cease to amaze me.
My pets are my salvation... since I can't work anymore and do have chronic pain everyday ... they keep me company and they know when my pain gets real bad... it is absolutely amazing ;) I have (2) dogs & a cat inside and (5) dogs outside... they love me unconditionally and definitely take my mind off of my pain quite often... I love my pets ;)
Same here. My husband at the time grew tired of all the drugs, doctors, tests, and pain. He found someone else and divorced me. I still blame myself. I am brand new to the Internet and Forums such as this. I'm hoping it will help to be part of this community. I know it helps when I pet my,dog and play. I enjoy our walks. Yes, unconditional love helps ease the pain, even if only for a while. Also, I am forced to go outside and walk her - no matter how bad I feel. wishing you well. I would be happy to chat.
I am disabled also but I help rescue dogs. I love the big dogs. I have 4 dogs right now and they are God's gift to me. My hubby is a truck driver and he is gone Sunday thru Friday so my dogs are my companions. When my pain is off the charts they are right there giving me kisses and they show me unconditional love. It is a proven fact that animals help people feel better. If anyone needs help finding an animal let me know. I know some awesome animal rescues. God Bless.
I have applied to make my golden retriever into a service dog for chronic pain. She has had much training as a service dog in another illness, so am hoping to get her accepted into the program. I cannot lean over. I can't stand for more than 5 minutes without staggering from the leg & spine pain. My right leg stops functioning. My husband works full time and cares for me full time. He is 67 and we are just getting by. The guilt I feel at not being able to help with anything is unbelievable. A dog can be taught to reduce the caregiver's burden 78%. I hope we get accepted.
All Chronic pain patients have been there including me at the moment. I was luckily able to find a great Anesthesiologist/Pain Specialist close to my home town and after reading my MRI results he was shocked no one was willing to help me. All it takes is the right doctor and the right narcotic. If you would like to chat further I would be more than happy to talk. I'll add you as a friend. Feel free to contact me through a private message. Happy Holidays! By the way. Right now I'm not going to school, I don't have a job, I can't do anything that involves lifting this for my parents. I feel terrible about it but right now all I can to do. Lets get in touch!
Thanks for replying. It is a long dam told many times story. I just replied to Kimmie, so as you can see I am not having a very nice life at this point. I would love to talk more, I can sure use the support system. I am the type who gets happy when helping others talk about bad issues so bring it on.
I would really like to know where and how I can find an Anesthesiologist/Pain Specialist. I have chronic back pain because of a number of different back problems. I'm 75 years old, married 51 years and always very independent. Suddenly about 8 months ago my spine started to fall apart. I'm not on any pain meds... over-the-counter or prescribed NASAIDS (can't seem to tolerate them), nor any narcotics. But I need help with the pain ASAP. I had RFA done in my lower left sacrum three weeks ago and I don't think it did any good although I know my DR. hit the right nerves endings. I'm starting physical therapy next week but I need pain meds badly. Before I go on a narcotic, I would love to see an A/P specialist. Hope you can help me find one. Just point me in the right direction and I'll do the rest. Rita
Im so in your shoes.i isolate myself.im out of touch with the real world.i have one tho not a soul to help me.the drs r not coorperating.so i know how u feel this all over pain seem to happen over nite.every bone in my body hurts.fell free to sned me a private message.i know thi si an old post but if u see it please lets chat.i hope things will get better for u cause this is noway to live.
i feel so sad 4 all of us eho suffer, i had 4 back surgeries in new york, iwas guided in the right direction by surgeeon and sent to pain management, if i did not have the last 2 surgeries,i would be in a wheel chair, the doctor at beth istreal, dr. andrew casden was fantastic, he told my husband that he can get me walking, but i will always have pain, i have done it all, bio feedback pt, and now the meds, they r helping. good days n bad, we all know, recently i have run into a big problem, we moved to las vegas, and i cannot find a doctor to prescribe my meds, i take m.s contin 180mg and m.s.i..r 30mg every 4-6
Sorry to hear about your back pain, Rita.
Where are you from? I'm in northern Indiana.
Good luck and I hope you feel better soon.
Hello, I am also in pain every day and the bad part about it is that because of the insurance I have ( State insurance ) I can't get any doctors to help me they just tell me to take motrin SMH I had surgery 3 years ago I had c5-c6 fused now they are talking about another surgery which I really don't want to have Degenerative Disc Disease and every day that goes by I just get worse and worse and the only thing they want to give me for the pain is mortin and I take so many of them in a day that it makes me feel sick and again it's all because of the State medical insurance that I have... I just had an MRI done on Feb 14th and now it's not only my neck or upper back that's getting bad it's my lower back too... sometimes im in so much pain that I can't help but to cry
I know how you feel my L7 disk is buldging and i have scooliousios degenerat disk desease and narrowing spine i too have state insurance took a while to find a doc to help found pain management doc he gave me norco 10 they dont work so i stoped taking them my doc found out i went to the ER for unrelated reasons the ER put down they gave me norco and a antibiodic i got the antibiodic but i had norco already from my doc so i didnt fill the norco one now the clinic might drop me and i still have pain is there anything i can do or take over the counter i dont know what to do
I have been having excruciating back pain for over 2 years. I've been to numerous doctors and had a kyphoplasty, pain pills, lidocaine patches, tegretol and 11 injections. For me to exist I need to take 3 pain pills a day but the Dr. refuse to give no more the 2 a day. They only last about 3 hours... there's at least 5 to 6 more out of major pain left. I have yet to find a Dr that will give me at least 3 a day. They want me to try things like neurotin and trilepto and tegretol which none of helped and they cost lots! PLease help me if you have figured something out that has helped you
Thanks
tracyjdf
"All it takes is the right doctor and the right narcotic." This is an old email. Good luck with finding the right doctor and the right narcotic. Unless you are dying are on your death bed, doctors don't want to prescribe narcotics for pain. The government is so far up the as they are afraid to help anyone with pain meds. Methadone is great and cost about .30 a pill. but nope they don't care. If anyone disagrees are agrees please do respond.
sounds like my life story. my back surgeries started in 1997 and i went downhill rapidly from there. i am doing much better this days. i tried almost everything out there to dull the pain. then got very addicted to everything i took. went to rehab.that did not work either. to make a long story shorter, 6 yrs ago i got on methadone. my doctor prescribed 10mgs 4x a day. it worked great. i stayed on it for about and year and actually weaned myself down to 10mgs a day only. then being the addicted i am, i upped my dosage again slowly but surely. now i am at 120mgs a day. i have had other things, health wise happen since 2004 that i don't have time to talk about right now, but if your interested, someday i will continue this chat. but you are not alone. there is a whole bunch of us out there who love to talk and visit and share their stories. hang in there. hope to talk to you real soon. happy holidays... kimmie1
Well Kimmie thanks for showing some interest in me. I find things a cit difficult these days. I worked for a company who manufactures water heating equip. I was the technical support manager. I had it good 89 g's per year, car,credit card's,come and go as i wanted, 6 people under me. I must have hert my back doing yard work and or moving there heavy equip. After this all went down I figured it all out how it all took place that is. You see my back was so bad I was resting my elbows on the arms of my office chair. After a few years of this it caused me to get pinched nerves in both that is ulnar nerve, plus carpel tunnel. I was so distressed and in so much pain and taking three 7.5 vicodines a day. I finally through my doc went for emg of uper extrem and mri for back. So here i sit after being told I could not do light duty. Oh we can let you stand and sit but you still must do, do, do, tens years of do and inventing a few things to better product and save big money..
Kimmie I have read back through this and have to say I am sorry you lost your lover. I would not want to go there.
I am curious what state do you live in
Sorry Kimmie it was not u who lost yur lover.
Hi Kimmie1
Drop me a line on my e-mail when you get a chance
Barb
I live in South East Texas. Near Galveston and Lake Conroe... Come bye for a visit... kimmie
Hi Kimmie, I feel for u and understand. I am having such a bad time with my arms. I got cubical tunnel in both. Had left operated on and still very sensitive. The right is so painful, the morphine dose not but only dull the intense pain. I avoid doing physical things knowing the outcome, more pain. I have days when I think screw this all the areas of pain combined makes it so hard to deal with. The I have many has even messed with my sex drive and I have many changes to private to get in to that make even what is supposed to be enjoyable not. I used to love it want it every day even more than once but my partner is not there for me when I feel I can. Ya know an urge comes on i am ready to go and i get rejected. So to top of living with pain i am deprived of sex. Well enough of that. Please stay in touch I enjoy your words of encouragement. Hope my writing u brings a smile to ya
kimmie, I was put on methodone due to pain. I hate it, I hate how it makes me feel, I take it 8 times a day, 10 mg. they as my doctor tells me I could be an addict to be careful, I get in thier face and tell them if I am an addict it is because of you! i NEVER WANTED THIS STUFF. I know I am physical addicted but not emotionaly, I have ran short before and OMG, the physical withdrawls are the worse thing I have ever felt, at one point I was so affraid I might beaddicted to methodone I went and asked for a eval. the Doctor did not know that to do, normally a dr refers you to a eval. I was so tired of being treated as a "seeker" addict, you name it and I am sure I was called it behind my back, in some cases to my face, anyway, I had the eval and was told I was not emotionally addicted but I was physically, no shit, you gave me this awful stuff to save money, did you know that is why it is the popular pain pill? it is the cheapest thing fot drs. to prescribe.
Well, kimmie, I've got 3 discs in the neck, 2 in the mid, and 1 in the lower back, yep, nodding on the wrists, fingers, elbows, shoulders...
I am on tramadol, gabapentin, diclofenac now. Have been on meds like these for 2 years now. At some time you may experience heightened sensitivies (the meds and narcotics do this to you) and you will feel like having Level 9/10 pain but it's really only 7/8 they'll tell you. Big diff, grins.
I am looking into medicinal mj. Will see if that helps next out.
I wish you luck, and pray for you, and lift you up in spiritual healing Kimmie. Keep pushing for new things, changeups, see what works for you. And know that you may be SSI disabled for the rest of your life. You have to adjust to being injured now of course. Best. be well.
I think a lot of us feel that way. My husband works very hard & when he gets home, he has to do all the things I used to do. I went from only missing 3 of my daughter's ballgames when she was in highschool & now I was only able to go to 1 & ½ games of T-ball & 2 soccer games. It seems like the only place I go is the doctor's office.
it is sad when you are opening Christmas gifts & your 2½ year old granddaughter see a box & said "nea nea's medicine. A couple months ago, my husband was telling her, he had to take me to the doctor & her response was "the doctor again!"
I wish you all the best. As far as the methadone goes if you need it, take it. I took it for 2 years & tapered down & went off it. I have not found anything that controls my pain as well as it did. My husband wants me to go back on the methadone & not worry about what others say. I felt humiliated when I went to the Cleveland Clinic for stomach issues & I felt like they were thinking she is a heroin addict & I have never taken an illegal drug in my life. Even when I explained all the reasons (chronic pain). They just looked me & it made me feel uncomfortable. That is why I tapered off the methadone. However I have a feeling that I will be going back on it in a couple months.
I just wanted to let you know you are not suffering alone! There are a whole slew of us on here, & many others that aren't. I have many of your problems & more. Been on disability since 1990. Hate not being able to do what I want to & love to do. Now they don't even want me to be walking my dog. The one thing I had left to look forward to each day. All I can say is you just have to learn to accept your limits, & take every day as a new day. Sometimes one day is worse than another, but you will make it. I have & so has my hubby who got disabled at the age of 32. He's 60 now & it's been a terrible row for him too. Hang in there fella, we're here for ya! Know what you mean about those grandkids too. They do pick you up don't they? Ours, all 7 except the 8th are mostly grown tho'. The 8th is 6 and quite the character.
Damn, you make my life sound like a blessing. Sorry to hear the about the lowered labito but totally understand. However, there is another discussion group on how pain effects your life. Check it out
Just a quick comment about medicinal mj. I like to take a few bites of an edible and within an hour, my mind is in a bit of a different space so that I can more easily ignore the pain. I don't believe that it lessens the pain, just makes it easier to cope with it. It improves my sense of humor also (and unfortunately my appetite).
I'm sorry to hear you are suffering so much. I deal with chronic pain on a daily basis as well, I have a very severe case of Crohn's Disease and have a lot of pain in my lower right abdomen. I've tried everything for my pain and also got addicted to narcotic pain killers in the process. I was on Transdermal Fentanyl patches 100 mcg's every 72 hours for over three years and had to be admitted to the hospital for in-patient detox. I was put on Suboxone to prevent withdraw and help me with my pain. It didn't help much and it made my legs and feet swell from water retention so I had to take a diuretic for the swelling. I took myself off of the Suboxone with little problem then slowly but surely went back on the narcotic pain killers. I was taking 40mgs. of Percocet a day and was recently put on 10mgs a day of Methadone along with 4mgs of Dilaudid every 8 hours for breakthrough pain.
You all have no idea what pain is, You want to hear about pain? Try falling 38ft out of a tree and landing on your back across the latter and still get up and mowe the lawn, weed eat, and I take 4 norco's ady with 4 tramadol and muscle relaxersnow if I can do that you can too. Don't believe me I caouldn't make this up if I wanted to,
Cervical spine x-rays demonstrate a 10 degree left sidebending at C3. There is a 6
degree sidebending with the left first rib and C7 transverse process elevation,
indicative of thoracic outlet compression syndrome. There are anterior osteophytes
if the vertebral bodies of CS, C6, and C7. There is uncovertebral joint hypertrophy
and facet arthropathy at all cervical levels, especially C3, C4, and CS. This explains
his upper extremity paraesthesias and TOCS pain. These symptoms co-exist with
his cervical radiculopathy from the cervical spine.
right sidebending at T8 and a 10 degree left sidebending at T4. Multilevel
degenerative disc disease is seen at all thoracic levels, especially at the apex of his
thoracic kyphosis. There is minor anterior lipping and spurring at TS, T6, and T7.
There is osteophytosis noted at T8-9 with a spontaneous fusion occurring on the
right side at that level.
Lumbar spine x-rays demonstrate a 10 degree left sidebending at L4. There is no
pelvic obliquity noted. There is extensive degenerative disc disease, particularly at
L4-S and LS~S1. There are posterior wedge compression deformities noted at the
L4-S and LS-S1 discs, resulting foraminal stenosis at those levels. This explains his
LS and S1 radiculopathy. The transverse processes at LS have formed a
pseudoarthrosis with the top of the sacrum and the medial border of the mac
Impression:
353.0 Thoracic Outlet Syndrome
716.99 Facet Arthropathy
722.51 DDD Thoracic/thoracolumbar
723.3 Cervicobrachial pain
723.4 Radiculopathy-cervical
724.1 Thoracic spine pain
724.2 Lumbosacral pain
724.4 Lumbar/lumbosacral radiculopathy
724.6 Lumbosacral Instability
756.12 Spondylolisthesis
780.50 Disturbed sleep
780.53 Sleep Apnea with Hypersomnia
806.2 Thoracic compression fracture
721.3 DJD Lumbar
722.52 DDD Lumbar.
Kimmie I abused somas,,had to be hospitalized.. Now I have to just watch myself everyday..
Sounds like my life..waiting, waiting for something to change when things only get worse ..I have chrones dx, fibro,pelvic floor tension, pelvic adhesive dx, colostomy bag 13 surgeries on disability and am just getting over a cold so feeling down, my whole body hurts all the time and all I do is pop pills and wait, wait and wait, ice helps a little and good conversations but am finding it hard to fake it lately...
Kimmie you and i sound like we are the same... i swear you sound like me. its sad and it sucks!! do i keep taking the pain meds that i feel like a destroying my life as well as my love life after losing several beautiful realationships because they all thougt i was a drug junkie and they split.. never been an ilegel drug user, the only meds i take are from my pain doctor with out them i can not run my business i built up for 15 yrs but its so so so hard on my back that i broke when i feel off a water tower 3 storys and hit the concrete and broke nearly every bone in my body as well as R.H. , fibro, the list goes on and on but i need to work or i need to sell my business that i love but its just way to hard on my body and i'm still young, i'm a 45yr old guy who looks and acts 25 but my body says diff... lol... oh well i hope your doing ok but i feel ya hun... Mickey from chicago.. Take care my friend.
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