My boyfriend was diagnosed with cirrhosis of the liver a year and a half ago. Since then he has become more of an alcoholic than ever. He hasn't seen a doctor in over a year and doesn't want to see one. When he was first diagnosed his platelets in his blood were low and they wanted to do a transfusion so he could get his biopsy done. The doctor had him booked with a liver specialist never went to that appointment either. He is looking more sicker everyday has liver spots all over his face, lost weight, had swelling in the stomach and legs but that has stopped for now, sleeping pattern is all mixed up, his mental behavior has changed, loss of memory, spider veins everywhere and so on.This is so hard for me to deal with and I know he's being very selfish and not thinking of what he's putting his family and me through!When he first went to the doctor I'm sure he was in his last stage so I'm wondering how long does a person live for with that disease and especially with the excessive amount of drinking he's doing.I love him and have stood by him but now I'm starting to feel very angry with him knowing how selfish he's being and what he's putting me through.I feel like leaving him but the guilty side of me makes me stay because all I keep thinking is what if he goes and I'm not there for him.I'm in a rock and a hard place but I also feel I'm gonna be sick myself if I keep going through this with him.This is the most stressful thing a person has to go through and I don't wish it upon anyone.Can someone please give me an answer as to how much longer he has thank you.
Last Stage Liver Cirrhosis - How Long Till Someone Passes If They Still Continue To Drink?
Question posted by Anonymous on 6 Jan 2013
Last updated on 11 June 2022
The information on this page reflects personal experiences shared by our community members. It is not reviewed for medical accuracy and should not replace professional medical advice.
79 Answers Page 4
After reading through all of the answers, I must say that you all got it pretty much covered. I am going to put my little 2 cents worth in. I am a recovered alcoholic and have been for 21 plus years. I have seen this syndrome far too many times and it is sad that you can't reason with the person or seem to get through to him. Can't remember which of the members wrote about finding out how he wishes his funeral done ect. That's a good idea, but don't dote on him because you have a life also. This may seem heartless and cruel but it is not, he may yet come around and change but it has to be his decision and no amount of talking is going to convince him to change.
Look in your local newspaper, usually in the sections where they list the public service announcements and look for listings for AA meetings you should also find in the same area listings for Alanon and that's what you want go to their meetings they can help you with all of the ins and the outs that you are going through. If you can't find a Alanon meeting then go to an AA meeting and ask them about Alanon meetings in your area. These gals and guys that go to these meetings are a great bunch and you will get lots of support, first hand. We can give you all of our advice and support, but what we can't give you is someone to hold your hand and help you through the thought process and the going out and doing process. Also, in the process you will meet some real nice people and make some new friends that will help you cope. There is my 2 cents worth, I can only hope that the outcome that you are hopeing for comes about. Good luck
I stopped hiding in a bottle in 1985. I started going to church... I have cirrhosis and I am on a transplant list? I exercise everyday. I am totally happy and deal with life now. I was a total coward who refused to stop drinking, feelling sorry for my self all the time. If you partner refuses to stop drinking, let them go or they will destroy you? If youvare still drinking, admit you have problem. There is help out there
... and I thought I was the only one battling the cirrhosis of the liver monster. My father has been drinking now for 30+ years. He was diagnosed with hepatitis years ago. He says the dr didn't know what he was talking about and now refuses medical treatment and my poor mother is left to deal with his frustration and pain (as I live in a different city about 2 hrs away). He drinks daily, had jaundiced skin and eyes about 6 years ago - which totally frightened me, is now bleeding during the night and wakes up to a completely soiled pillow, fluid build up in his face, hands, and eyes, nauseous often, fatigued always, extremely bitter, and the list goes on. Yet, he drinks a large bottle of vodka about every 2 days still. NOT, to mention he's a chain smoker.
I've been on this emotional roller coaster for 30+ years. I've been in and out of counseling because watching him destroy himself and our family has made our lives much harder than those outside our home could ever imagine.
I often wonder, just how much more his fragile body can take. I've shifted my concern and compassion to my mother who carries the load of caring for him, as she deals with his verbal and physical abuse. His selfish descision to continue on this road has me numb. Still I love him, he's my dad.
My thoughts & prayers go out to those that have lost a loved one because of this horrible illness. My hope is that for those of us that have loved ones still hanging on destroying their own quality of life as they continue to drink... that we can stand strong as we continue to push thru this journey...
This post and everyone’s stories have really helped me. I have the same questions and feelings the original poster had about my father in the same situation. Does anyone have any experience with professional interventions and how successful that might be?
9 months ago my father’s symptoms were the same as you described – jaundice, edema, mental confusion, muscle atrophy, mixed up sleep cycle... We (my sister and I and our husbands) suspected he had liver disease, but he refused medical help. We convinced him to go to a private lab and get blood work done, which confirmed the liver disease. At that point we were able to convince him to go to the hospital, where he was diagnosed with stage 4 liver cirrhosis. He stayed for several days, detoxed and was released. He stayed sober for a couple months, but eventually went back to drinking.
Now he goes in and out of cycles – he will feel “good” (good being relative…), but that leads to heavier drinking – which puts him into a cycle where he is very symptomatic and he stops drinking (often because he physically can’t) until he feels well enough again to drink. It’s the most frustrating, helpless, maddening, sad thing to experience.
Our individual heart-to-heart conversations don’t change his mind. He seems to think he’s healing himself and can live “10 more years” Somehow he got that idea out of his conversation with a doctor at the hospital… I can’t see that being accurate in his condition and continued drinking. Since he won’t leave his house or seek medical council any longer, I can’t get him to see the facts from his beliefs.
My ultimate goal is to get him on a liver transplant list – but he needs to be sober for a year… then the transplant waiting starts. Seems like a very far away goal... I’m trying to organize a last ditch effort intervention and possible rehab program. He won’t be receptive – but I feel like I need to put every effort in to convience him his life is worth saving…
Hi - Welcome to the club ! My brother has had "end stage" for 3 years now. He's only 54, continues to drink daily, and doctors have told him "end stage". You're going to die if you drink. Well, he's been drinking & dying for 5-6 years now. just how long can this last? It's driving me crazy (am his sister & only sibling that shops for him, pays his bills, etc) the rest of the family have given up on him, which I can understand!! I am about at wit's end b/c he doesn't give a crap. I went over today to take food I've cooked - he's drunk as a goat & can't even hold head up to talk - keeps nodding off (with light cig in hand) - I've had it and tired of caring for someone that doesn't care for himself. I don't want him to live with me (I'm NOT taking care of him). My parents, I took care of, but a sibling - NOT (at least NOT to the point where I want them to live with me).
What does one do? PLEASE HELP - His doc says he's in "end stage cirrohosis" but this has been going on for so long !! How long does it go on?
@Plmurphy Thanks for the response - comforting to know others have the same questions. My father is similar age to your brother - 56 - and I wonder how long "end-stage" can last as well without a liver transplant. He's known he has had fatty liver for a few years- he first mentioned it to me about 2 years ago, which I understand would be considered "Stage 3". 9 months ago when he was diagnosed with stage-4, a doctor apparently told him that he could live 10 more years with the disease if he takes care of himself, got on a healthy diet, medication, stopped drinking, etc (none of which he's done). He tells me his body is healing itself, which is why he needs to sleep so much - I know that's not medically accurate, but he can't be reasoned with. My bf is a nurse and said she's had patients go into total organ failure within days of diagnosis... days to 10 years... the body can be a mysterious thing.
He's recently started bleeding from the mouth/nose - the latest symptom. I understand this esophageal varices is a more severe symptom of the disease and can alone be fatal, but can also be treated with medical attention.
His demeanor also continues to deteriorate - he is very agitated and aggressive (when he's awake) - he's quick to anger / yell and curse. Even throw and break items when he's angered. It's sad because it's not the way I want to spend the remaining time I have with my father...
My X has a liver cirrhosis end stage , sometimes did recently hepatic encephalopathy and after an epileptic crisis because he stopped drinking alcohol for 10 days only. doctors say this is the end stage,how will be the situation in this stage and how long time it takes.
Hi - checking back in with an update that my father passed away on May 17th - he was 56. There are a lot of posts about our loved ones who have cirrhosis, but not many updates on if (when) they passed. To answer the original poster's question, my father lived 10 months after first being hospitalized and diagnosed with stage-4 cirrhosis of the liver. He continued to drink throughout his illness, and his health continued to steadily decline. He refused and did not receive any medical care for the duration of his illness after the initial hospitalization. Ultimately it was the bleeding of the esophageal varisies that ended his life. He died peacefully in his sleep, in his bed, the way he wanted.
I hope this is information that helps someone going through a similar experience seeking answers. If you wish to reach out to me, you can do so at sharon_hoffman -at- ymail.com (replace -at- with @).
My stepson was diagnosed with this more than 3yrs ago and the worst part is he is just 29 the Dr's have told him this shouldn't be a young mans disease this is more likely for an old man but it is what it is he's still a heavy drinker he won't listen he thinks everyone is just hating on him.He's already been in the hospital 5 times and had blood transfusions and surgery twice because some vains on his esophagus popped. It was a very hard having to watch him in the ICU vomiting blood and hearing all his conversations that didn't even make sense at all this was pretty scary at times cuz he would see people when it was just me and him in the room.Thanks god he's been lucky and made it thru in and out of the ICU up to even a week in there but would pull thru just to go back to the drinking.
Yes this is upsetting but what can the people that love him do you can't turn away from them (I think it's gods decision to take him away)We still living thru this nightmare but we keep praying.Don't feel guilt ur giving him the best of u LOVE... Be strong and may god bless u this is so hard I know but be strong..
My brother was in and out of ICU for the last 3 months of his life! It is exactly like watching a Horror movie and you can Not close your eyes to at the scariest scenes!! My brother would call me if I wasn't at the hospital with him reguardless the hour and if he couldn't call he would have the nurses and even a Doctor call me to plead for help! Horrible disease to the very end!! God bless you!
Please let me know your outcome - wishing you the best !!
Hi.. Im sorry about all of the sad posts Ive read here, my heart goes out to you all. Someone was wondering if her boyfriend was being a jerk to her while hes suffering with his illness. Ive read that liver damage may cause toxins in the brain which causes confusion etc. and possible coma. I don't think hes being a jerk, I think its his condition. Here's a website that some of you may benefit from. Natural wellness. com. Im going to invest in the Milk thistle as my boyfriend just told me that he has liver disease. Im angry because he wasnt honest in the beginning. We met 30yrs ago when we were children..He claimed he was inlove with me but he was 3yrs older and I was not interested in boys lol. However, we remained good friends until I moved away. I never saw or heard from him again until 6months ago and we have been inseparable ever since. He wants to marry me but Im afraid of what the future would be like with him. I do know that I don't want to be without him.
also, anyone with questions on the disease can just type in cirrohsis of the the liver in your browser and it pull up lots of helpful information. I wish you all the best
in april 2013 my boyfriend was diagnosed with cirrhosis of the liver due to alcohol. he to would not stop drinking and was in denial about what the doctors were saying. and did get much worse to the point he had the swelling and spider veins and in august of that year they had to start drainging fluid from his right lung and then in his stomach. you are going to have to do what I had to do. the doctors told me to use tough love and I finally had to tell my boyfriend that if he wanted to die then I wasn,t going stay around and watch and when he seen that I meant what I was saying he stopped drinking but by then it was almost to late. you can measure the illness and how it is progressing by the liver numbers if his bell ruben is high that gives you some insight has to how bad he is. but one thing you must keep in mind, you are doing everything you can for him and it is up to him if he wants to live or not.
My husband has cirrhosis of liver he is 45 yes old.I've stuck by him its so hard now he is bedridden .getting angary now and snappy.he has blood coming out the side of mouth.he only pees one time of day now.is it normal when its close to them passing.
kenzie06 - my brother has been drunk and couch ridden for months. How long does "end stage" last ? I can't take much more !!
Ther is not a right answer to your question, my husband has end stages cirrhosis of the liver caused by alcoholism. He is under Hospice care he was diagnosed with end stage cirrhosis in Oct of 2013 and told less than 2 years to live. He stopped drinking 5 month before his diagnosis. He has anywhere from 1 month to 11 months to live no person is the same but the Dr told him if he didn't quit drinking he would be dead in a month at that time he was vomiting blood, and pooping blood, drinking from 5 am till 11pm every day, forgetting little things and losing stuff. My husband now eats maybe 2 child size meals a day and drinks lots of sweet tea. But he is mostly like a 2 year old, trying to figure out how to do every day tasks. Cirrhosis of the liver is a slow painful death and it can affect other organs such as the heart, kidneys and stomache. Alcoholics who have cirrhosis can die from bleeding out of the stomache, esaufagus and brain.
Ammonia collects in the brain making them have delusions and make them black out. In short they can live many years of die suddenly no 2 people are the same.
My heart goes out to you this disease sounds extremely difficult on the individual, and the family. My son died a a year ago from what I believe was cirrhosis due to alcohol abuse he was 26. I did not know that he was dying of this condition, two years prior to his passing he pushed me away wanted no contact. I was told the day after he died he was dead, and accidentally found out what he died from his wife was furious. Apparently, I was never to know any details nor were most of his friends they did not know the true cause of death. I was wondering how long can a person have cirrhosis? Also, you mention your husband has delusions do you mean he thinks something happened, but never did? What I mean is my son was telling people things that happened in his life, but they never did or perhaps it is all the years of drinking.
Is this the kind of things you had to deal with your husband? Last thing I was wondering in my search for answers I found out my son went from being in coma in the hospital for a week then waking up walking around to going home to hospice care one day before he died. Has your husband been in hospice care since he was diagnosed with end stage cirrhosis of the liver? I am asking these questions because I think my son may have been diagnosed with end stage at the end of 2011 because that is when he had a nasty fight with me, and said things I do not believe he would normally say I think he was pushing me away because he did not want me to see him die. I will keep you in my thoughts sending hugs to you xxxxxxxxxxxx
I'm going through the same thing with my father. He has been drinking for over 23 years and just last month we found out he has liver failure. The doctor said that if he even takes one sip of alcohol he'll die sooner but he said he's going to be dying soon anyways. They said he has about 2-4 weeks left. There are chances of him bleeding to death, something to do with his esophagus, and his veins popping. If your boyfriend cant get a liver transplant and he wont stop drinking, my opinion i think he'll have a lot more time than my father.
I know it's not the same but my moms liver is completely shot from chemo. Last year she has stage 4 lymphoma which she receives chemo for but due to the chemo her liver is starting to shut down and the doctors say it's only going to get worse . She has been in and out if the hospital for a year from everything from dehydration or hemoglobins being low which they give her blood transfusions for and every 2 weeks she gets paracentessis (draining of fluid in her liver ) and the doctors say she has a year or two tops but who knows ..all I can tell u is to spend as much time as possible with your loved one so you have memories to look back on and in so sorry for everyone going through and watching there loved one slowly get sicker and sicker. It's the worst feeling in the work knowing there is nothing that you can do about it . I'm so sorry for all of your loess as well.
maddie9700, how is your dad? Hoping he's still hangin in there. Here is my story, and it may help you:
My fiance has end stage cirrhosis and about 4 months ago he fell at home. His ammonia levels were very high and he was confused and saying things that made no sense or that were mean. He had been throwing up blood also. Turned out he had bleeding varices, the veins in the esophagus. There's a procedure that can be done call "banding" that stops these from bleeding. Normally it's a simple out-patient procedure, however with everything else going on with the ammonia levels and such he ended up being basically in a coma for about 4 days. I truly thought he was going to die. The staff at the hospital said he would pull through, that he did almost die but that he was going to be okay. I kept asking them why they were lying to me and didn't believe them. But after those few days, he was slowly getting better.
The yellow jaundice faded and his skin went back to almost totally normal, he was given Lactulose to bring his ammonia levels down by expelling it through bathroom usage, and the banding stopped the internal bleeding. Since he's been out of the hospital he has had his stomach distension drained every 2 to 3 weeks. He didn't drink for about 2 months... but unfortunately he does again. I cry all the time b/c he hasn't stopped. I think about not having him in my life and it's the worst feeling in the world. He doesn't drink as much or as hard of drinks as he used to, but that's not good enough. He tells me he feels good and that he can tell that he's getting better. His liver proteins are better when he has blood tests. And he admits he knows he needs to stop drinking. Even breaks down and says how much he wants to... but he's too proud to get any kind of professional help or go to support groups. He says AA doesn't help or work for him b/c he's done it before. I terrified he will not live much longer - but I hope that I'm wrong and he has much more time than it feels like. I pray all the time that God will heal him and to help him to stop drinking. Lately he gets on his knees and prays before bed and that gives me hope too. I love him with all my heart. If anyone has additional tips for me or if anyone will pray for us I appreciate it. Thanks.
Maddie, if your father is still with you - talk to some doctors - GI specialists - about "banding" and about getting Lactulose. It could make a big difference on time you have with him. You're in my prayers, as are all others on this thread and anyone else out in the world and their families/friends that may be struggling with this horrible disease.
Thank you but my Dad passed away on December 28.
I am so very sorry for your loss, you and all those close to you will be in my prayers. He is in a better place, I hope you can find peace in that. God Bless You.
I just wanted to say thank you for posting this... I am going threw this with my dad I'm only 28 and a single mother he is my main suport system ... So to read all your reasponces and caring concerns ... Help me start my day to b strong and know others have the same hurt ... Thank you but yes sounds like last stages my dad is going threw but thank u n wish u luck cuz it sucks a lot !!
I realize this is an old thread I've stumbled upon. On the off-chance you're still monitoring, I'm sorry to hear you went through this, and for anyone else in you're shoes, I'll continue with my 2 cents.
My best friend of 25 years had been drinking selfishly and now finds himself in dire shape. Most of our other friends had abandoned him years ago. I'll be very blunt with you, as it's pretty clear to me... Dump his ass and move on with your life. Don't waste anymore cycles on this emotional rollercoaster over his self-serving choices. He's so far down a worm hole, it's not fair nor sensible to stand by him any longer. He's made his choices and if still alive, is probably experiencing chronic issues, brain damage, and self pity. He'll never be the same person you fell in love with. Nothing you can do or say will make any difference, it's up to him to take ownership of his problem, and until he does, it's just a giant waste of your time. Mr. Right will pass you by and life goes on.
My heart goes out to you my son who was 26 died of this condition 9 months ago. This is very hard for anyone to deal with, and I must say your loyalty to your boyfriend I do appreciate and understand. My son was in endstage about two years, but everyone is different. Remember whatever is happening to your boyfriend he is not rationale the toxin in the liver on top of drinking has gone to his brain. My son's personality over the year changed. As he approached the end he went for drinking more with personality changes, losing weight & sleep different hours. My heart goes out to you, and his family I hope he does not push his loved ones away, and I hope you all can endure. Try to remember the man you love really is mentally gone, and the way he is acting is the disease. Hugs & your boyfriends family.
Sorry to hear about this,I can definitely relate.I lost the love of my life,almost 4yrs ago to alcoholic cirrhosis/hepatitis c.Went through all the things you and others wrote about.It was a terrible time for me and still have feelings of guilt,anger and extreme sadness.I know your postings were from last year,but how are things now?
Hello, I wanted to share Johnny's story- My Brother &My Best friend. Two years ago my brother had surgery and needed to be given blood, not till last year when his back and side started hurting and was really bloated did he allow me to take him to the E.R. After a week in the hospital his Dr. Came to the conclusion that he must of been given blood that was infected with hepatitis and his liver was damaged and pancreas was shutting down, it was a long and horrible road. He was having paracentesis (abdominal) taps 3 times a week and blood transfusions and bursting varicies and lost over 75lbs. For the last 6 weeks of his life he could not eat and only slept 2-3 hours per night. I would not wish this suffering on Anyone! My brother believed that he was going to get better and I never told him any different. The last 3 days of his life he spent praying and crying, he passed away holding my hand. My brother was only 52 and leaves behind his broken hearted mother, 2 daughters, 2 sons and 3 grandchildren and a very best friend . Cirrhosis is a Horrible disease.
This is a very sad ending. I am so sorry for your loss even though I was not at my son's side when he died I am grieving very deeply. I can only imagine how you feel. I am crying as I read your heartfelt post.
Thank you for feeling my pain, it takes such a strong person to look into the face of your loved one and say "Don't worry!!its going to be alright!" But knowing it's not !
Janfergiprice, sometimes during difficult times we just find that strength we need. Sending hugs to you & the family xxxxxxxxxxxx
Thank you so much, Big hugs to you too
I feel for you on what ur going thru. My dad recently had a heart attack and had to have surgery. They then noticed that his liver cirrosis was very serious. He then caught ammonia and his kidneys started to shut down all in a couple of weeks. My dad passed away last week an theres nothing harder. I wish i would have knew more about liver cirrosis before it took his life. Mydad drank alcohol til th end and it damaged his liver and now im w/out a father. I will miss him forever and hate that disease for th rest of my life.
I am rather new to this whole forum discussion thing but I would like to add a story of mine and of my concern I recently lost my mother in July of 2011 from one cancer few days after she was buried I found myself pregnant with my daughter who is now 2 years old since then I have had a son who is one with my husband who is an alcoholic he drinks 6 to 7 25 an ounce cans of beer a day and lately I have been having these bad dreams about him having liver disease he it is all the time he's always nauseous he has this pain in his right side underneath his rib cage that makes me think that he has an inflamed liver although he is very healthy with his eating habits any exercises daily he doesn't know he has a problem because he is suffering from alcoholism and everyone knows it except for him since I've had his concerns I have went to him and I have told him that I'm scared that he had liver issues and liver problems and since then he still hasn't stopped drinking ...
he has these little red pen like dots all over his bodyhis mom has tried to get him to stop drinking for years this will be 21 years that he has been drinking and he's only 38 I don't know what to do next he said he will agree to go to a doctor as long as I go to the doctor to get checked because he thinks that I have issues when indeed I don't she constantly accuses me of things he talks deliriously some days and I cannot tell if that is just the overabundance amount of alcohol that he and takes or if its the disease messing with his brain any answers any suggestions in any opinions would be very welcome I am so so sorry to all of you who have lost a loved one to this dangerous and very sad slow death my heart goes out to everyone of you who are dealing with the same situation that I am it's not easy it's very hard and some days I don't think that I can handle it if I do hear the doctor say that my husband has cirrhosis of the liver because I know him and his alcoholism ruined his life he will refuse to stop drinking and he will do this until the day that he died please if anyone can give me any information that would be great thank you in advance with love and best wishes. God bless
I know it's been awhile since anyone has posted here but I have tears rolling because all these stories hit so close to home. My grandfather drank himself to death and now my husband has cirrhosis of the liver. He's 37. We found out in January and he quit drinking and started being such a great husband and father again. About 4 days ago he relapsed. After 6 months of being sober. We argued for 2 days straight. He says no one loves him and he deserves to die. He's depressed, I know this. He's confused all the time, in pain, his varacies bleed, he's filled with fluid, ect.. The Drs said he has a few months to a year to live. He's supposed to be put on the donors list this month but now we'll have to wait another 6mo. Cirrhosis and alcoholism is one of the hardest things I've ever endured in my lifetime.
To love someone with all you have to give and know what potential, love of life, and great human being they once were until alcohol took over there life. It's so hard for me to just sit back and watch him kill himself. Especially knowing he has a 6 and 7 yrs old boys. I am going to be a widow and my kids are going to grow up without there father. Do I fight and argue with him over this knowing he will drink regardless behind my back or do I let him do what he wants and just try to enjoy what time we have with him? It's the hardest thing in the world to be unable to help the one you love. I pray he finds the will to want to live, not for just me and or our kids, but for himself. I don't want a life without. But I know no matter what we'll be ok if God decides to take him. My thoughts and prayers go out to everyone fighting this battle and who have lost this battle.
I've bee dealing with this this disease for awhile. He was given about a year to live he has survived for about two years. He continues to drink. I no longer to him to stop. He knows what he is doing to himself. It's now up to me to make sure I have everything in order. We are not legally married yet we live in a common order state.
I have read everything about the disease. And to put it all in a nutshell. I need to take care of myself. Make sure insurance is paid. The house is in order and you know what to do with his remains. He has been in the hospital before. Then went to rehab. He is still drinking, yet still takes his Meds. I too love him very much. But there is nothing that I can do. He sleeps a lot, drinks... I make him eat but only God knows what's left to do. He might just out live me. But we had a wonderful time together. I'm ready to get back to living again.
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