I'm 46- dealt with depression my whole life and at 19 had a psychotic break/manic episode and then diagnosed BP 1. I refused to take the lithium that was prescribed to me and had 3 more complete psychotic breaks- I got the hint and since the last manic episode was so horrific- absolutely destroyed my life- I vowed to stay on the lithium- for a short time about 10 years ago I was on Seroquel and Lamictal too but didn't affect my depression so I went off of it though have taken lithium for 26 years. It's now affecting my kidneys and my pdoc and nephrologist want me off of it. My pdoc is suggesting Lamictal and Abilify. I'm concerned since I've read web page after web page that Lamictal is NOT used to treat BP1 mania. He thinks it's the best choice for me since the side effects are low (no rash when I was on it before) and my manic episodes are responsive to medication. I was thinking Depakote but my hair has thinned out quite a bit due to the lithium and am wary of the weight gain since I'm heavy already though have done well dropping weight- almost 50 lbs and I'm feeling better about myself. I'm experiencing some of the worst depressions currently due to all of this because of the fear of having to switch meds. I am so horribly terrified of going manic again. Anyone have any input on this? thanks!