Gabapentin side effects; withdrawal?

I've been on gabapentin for almost 3 years (300 mg 3 times day). I've ran out a couple times, the side effects for me are extreme agitation, anxiety, severe insomnia, breathing problems and I had feelings of suicide. I'm on med for insomnia, high blood pressure and muscle relaxer. I had a back and neck injury back in my 20's from a car wreck, and worked in retail which you have to lift heavy when stocking. I am under a neurologist care fixing to go thru spinal fusion surgery. I am hating the side effects of gabapentin. And very worried about the idea of even more pain meds. I've been told by my neurologist and other people who have had spinal fusion surgeries and the pain of recovery is some worst pain imaginable and takes almost 10 months to a year.

My wife took Gabapentin for 3 months after back surgery. When she stopped, that night she began to have muscle spasms or jerking motions in her left shoulder and upper arm, her blood pressure went to 200 (I don’t remember the lower number). We went to ER. Nothing helped until she was given a dose of Gabapentin. After that the Dr put her on a path of slowly tapering off over the next three months, taking doses farther and farther apart then lowering the strength. That was 2 1/2 years ago. Still has occasional mild twitching in that arm when having difficulty getting to sleep.