... at my clinic, I've found myself in the uncomfortable position of having to do a very rapid detox. Frankly, my head is so messed with, that I've been having extremely serious panic attacks every day when I go to get dosed. At this point, I'm more scared to go to the clinic, than I am to detox!
Obviously, there are many details to my situation. At the beginning of July, I was on 90mg, and as of tomorrow I'll be at 38.5mg. I've actually been doing fairly well. I do have some experience with this, as I detoxed from methadone and a variety of other drugs 20 years ago and stayed clean for about 3 years. I'm wondering if anyone has a good plan for the physical aspects... my head is already a mess, so I don't imagine I'll get much worse in that department. I will greatly appreciate any advice I can get. I know things will start getting much worse very quickly now. I've always found that when you get below about 40mg, helltime starts. Thanks...
Added 14 Aug 2009:
Frankly, at this point in my life, about the last thing I want to do is introduce a new drug to my system. Today I'm at 37.5 and going down 2.5mg every other day. I'm more interested in supplements, vitamins, or non-addictive perscriptions that my psychiatrist can prescribe. The panic attacks I've been having are so radical, that I've been experiencing uncontrollable shaking and hyperventilating. At this point, I'm so scared to death of the clinic that detox seems like a much more pleasant alternative. Scary...isn't it?!
Added 26 Aug 2009:
I've continued decreasing my dose 2.5 per day and am now at 22.5mg. The panic attacks I've been experiencing when I go to the clinic are getting even worse. (I'm surprised, because I really didn't think they could get much worse.) I've been chewing an aspirin every day on the way there 'cuz I feel so sure that I'm going to have a heart attack. Maybe that's helping me in a weird way. I'm wondering if endorphines could be kicking in because of all the shaking and hyperventilating. I really expected to feel way worse detoxing than I am. I've also lost about 35 lbs since the beginning of July because I just don't feel like eating anymore. I'm still not taking any other drugs and don't plan to. Does anyone know a good place to get legal advice? I feel that this clinic is doing some serious damage to me by going against my doctor's opinion.
Added 2 Sep 2009:
Well, in case anyone out there is interested...I've continued dropping 2.5mg every other day and am now at 12.5! I've been taking my vitamins and supplements and eating as well and as little as possible. This hasn't been difficult since I lost my appetite quite awhile back. I'm doing isometrics and self-hypnosis and trying to capitalize on the power of positive thinking. I actually believe it's helped, as I'm still hanging in there fairly well. Having this site to refer to has helped me tremendously. It's good to know that I'm not alone. I also believe it helps to think about other people rather than focusing on oneself, which is so easy to do when you're not feeling well. At least it does for me. I am so very grateful to everyone who has answered and/or commented on my questions, called me a friend or reciprocated when I called them a friend, and reached out to share their most personal struggles and issues. I think you are the nicest bunch of people I know, and I wish we were all neighbors! I am planning to drop off the clinic at 7.5 (Sunday), and I'll let you know how I'm doing then. Until that time, all of my heartfelt and most sincere thanks to the many caring people at Drugs.com, who I am proud to call my friends.
Added 14 Jan 2010:
Well, Here's an update for anyone who'd been interested in my plight. I did finally start on a new clinic recently. I was shocked to find out that the starting dose is now 20mg. That was depressing to hear. It's taken some time and pleading, but I am now at 100mg. I'm feeling better and more positive than I have since last summer. Though I do believe that this entire experience has beaten the crap out of me. As a result of months of serious depression and stress, I am now a different person than I was when this all started. And to think...all of this because I couldn't pee fast enough. It's impossible for me to accept! Talk about sadistic!! As always, I'm extremely grateful to all of you who have commented and showed concern. This has been a safe place for me to get things out of my system, and also hear the thoughts of others who share similar lifestyles and experiences. Thanks again, keemo7