I've been on suboxone/subutex now for 3 years. I've been trying to ween off of it for the past year. I feel sick on it and sicker without it but I usually feel good when I first wake up and take it (1mg.) and then I usually get tired about 4-5 hours later and need a nap and when I wake up I feel like I'm starting to withdrawal again (no matter what the dose) so I take another mg. and here I am feeling so nauseous and sweating. I think I need to go away for help but honestly I feel like the doctor's don't even understand how bad the withdrawal is. This never happened to me until last year around this time when I was put into the hospital for a cold turkey detox. I suffered for 11 days not even getting out of bed. They sent me home and expected me to attend a class everyday for depression and anxiety. I was the only one there going through detox. I could barely participate. I recently read that it takes about 8 weeks to start feeling better. Why didn't they tell me that in the hospital? They didn't know. The woman who was my room mate was taking 30-50 norco's per day for 5 years and they gave her some neurontin for her restless leg syndrome and I believe clonodine and she didn't feel very well but she was able to get out of bed and talk to people and she even left before me. I wish I knew how she was doing but I can't seem to get a hold of her. I honestly never had an opiate addiction. Yes, I liked hydrocodone and was given some when I had severe headaches and also took my Dad's script because he didn't like using them but I never abused them. I was having a lot of anxiety and depression and going to the same psychiatrist for years and when I told him that the hydrocodone made me feel better (normal), he said he finally figured out my problem. He said my opiate receptor's were not working correctly and he had just the thing. He said it was safe and not addicting and that I could take it for the rest of my life. My family was very upset when they read about it and begged me not to take it and I got off of it once after being on it for about 8 months. I just cut the pills in half every 3-4 days and I was fine. Now I'm in trouble because what they did to me in that hospital scared the pants off of me and I haven't been the same since. I don't know what to do anymore and I don't know anyone who feels like this except for some stories I've read online. Right now I am burning up and so nauseous. I can barely do anything. If someone in that hospital told me that it would be at least 8 weeks before I felt better and if they would have let me rest instead of sending me somewhere I didn't belong I may have made it but now the thought of going through that again. I just can't do it. I guess I'm weak. Suboxone has ruined my life. I can't feel anything, no joy, excitement, etc... I just dread everytime it's a b-day or holiday that I have to go to like tomorrow night we are having dinner at our daughter's for my husbands b-day. I'm so afraid I'm going to be sick. This is not me. I was always a people person and loved going out and loved excitement. I miss the old me even though she was depressed and had anxiety she was still participating and enjoying life. Has anyone ever felt like this or gone somewhere good that really helped them? Thank you. Larsy