I’m on day 5 of restarting 10mg of citalopram after 6 months off. Was on it for 4 years and it worked well for my GAD and health anxiety but after I stopped my IBS came back and I slowly relapsed into depression and anxiety. The anxiety has gotten 100x worse since starting and I’m having lots of physical effects and negative thoughts. I don’t remember it being this bad last time. Foolishly went on google and read all about how lots of people with GAD don’t respond to treatment and now keep thinking all these ‘what ifs’. How long until the anxiety starts to go away and does it mean that the medication won’t work this time?
Restarting citalopram - terrible anxiety?
Question posted by Windywell on 2 Oct 2019
Last updated on 7 October 2019
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Answers
Need2feelbetter
2 Oct 2019
Hi Windy
I hope this helps you a little bit.
I'm on citalopram too. This is my 4th bout of depression and anxiety over about 20 year period. Was on 30 mg last time which ended up being my therapeutic dosage.
I have major depression, anxiety and agoraphobia. I never wanted to be back in this dark place and tried to pull myself out after slowly getting high anxiety again and slipped rather quickly back into depression.. I couldnt get better myself no matter what I did to try. . Which made me feel worse.
This time, On 8/10 - I started on 10 mg - at night. By the 2nd night, I had horrendous dreams. Panicked for 39 hours straight. Did not sleep
Twitching, pacing, etc. Was sure I needed to be hospitalized. Thankfully, I did not. It was EXTREME anxiety Most horrible experience. Swapped to taking in the morning.
I, like you had SO much more anxiety after starting the citalopram again. I do not remember it being like that/this the last time I took it about 5 years ago (for about a year and half or the time before - also for a year and half)..
This time - I was started on 10 mg for a week. Then 15 for a week and then 20 for 3 weeks. Then 30 now for 17 days. My morning anxiety is a hair lower. My depression is still there.
I'm telling you all this because, it definitely did get worse before it started to get a hair better. I've got a LONG way to.go to feel myself and I pray that I will. I couldnt even shower, comb my hair, or go outside much. Couldnt hold a conversation. Just last night, I walked about 2 houses down the street. Hadnt done that in 2 months. I do not watch t.v. because theres too much negativity. I lost my love for music, etc. Its horrible.
I'm not sure what degree of anxiety and depression you are at, but it is slightly more tolerable now for me. I can tell you that the what ifs were constant for me too
And I still have some because I want so much to get better and be me again. I'm trying really hard and I just try to think that im.getting just a hair better.
I had and have physical effects too. Heart palpitations, upset stomach, dry mouth, disturbing and scary dreams and many, many negative thoughts- which were scary. I still get the negative thoughts and the anxiety but it's down a notch
Just was able to shower without a 10 on the scale of panic yesterday. Was around a 4 or 5
Everybody is different and you are not in the least bit alone. I've been on this site for almost 2 months and there are people here that are incredible. Most know exactly what your feeling. I know I do ! And I'm still working really hard at getting better. My life is out there somewhere and I want it back. I'm sure you feel the same!
You've found a great website and great people. Just try to breathe through the anxiety. I know its hard. I know first hand.
I dont know if this message will help you. But just know you are not alone
If you read my posts- you'll see I was exactly where you are based on your recent post. And still going through it.. But we need to keep.moving forward. I will add you to my list of people to pray for this evening.
All my best!
Windywell
2 Oct 2019
Thanks so much for this. Strange I didn’t get a notification that you had replied even though I think the notifications are on. It’s is so hard isn’t it being back here? I really thought I was going to be cured because the antidepressants had made me feel so normal. I am trying to stay positive but it is so hard. I’m assuming that the citalopram worked for you when you took it the previous times?
Need2feelbetter
2 Oct 2019
Hi Windy
Yes. The citalopram worked the last 2 times. My previous therapeutic dose was 30 mg. I pray that this time it works too. I know 40 is the max and it makes me nervous that if I cant get well on 30. What if 40 doesnt work either.
I have what ifs too! I just want so much to be me again! Im sure you can relate? This illness takes everything from us. I'm trying everyday to do something either in the yard or in the house. Something. These things arent much, but I'm trying. Even if they are the simplest tasks. I try.
My friend of 30 years saw me go through this last time and she keeps telling me I will pull through this time too. It's a long process. I'm just trying to keep faith in myself, the citalopram and God. ( although I'm not super religious). I do pray overnight to be well again. And I will now include you in the sane prayers.
This site has been extremely helpful. I met an amazingly wonderful person here on this site. She has encouraged me everyday. Shes a little ahead of me in recovery. However, she has not been on here in a couple days and it's been really difficult for me. I hope she is ok. I know they were experiencing a horrible storm and she had no power for days and days. I just hope shes alright. Shes a God send. And wise and so heartful!
It's amazing how total strangers can help us through. I had lost my faith in people. But this one person - from halfway around the world opened her heart to me and I dodnt think that existed. I think you'll find the site extremely helpful.
I hope you hearing that citalopram worked for me before is encouraging. It worked for you too. So let's try to stay as positive as we can and pray it works this time too !!
Please keep in touch!!!
This is a very lonely illness.
Windywell
2 Oct 2019
Thanks so much - it sure is! You feel as though you are the only person going through it even though you know there are millions feeling like this everyday. We just have to remember that it does take time and hopefully you are feeling a little bit better every day. And I tell myself that there are lots of options for us in terms of treatment. And my psychiatrist said you need to give each dose 4-6 weeks to work before reassessing and you are only 17 days in on this dose so early days. Are you doing therapy as well? Apparently they do work much together than medication alone.
Do you only have morning anxiety? I have it all day at the moment as well as constant mini panic attacks which is just awful. I don’t need it to away entirely, just not be this bad! I am trying to keep going to work but it’s so hard to concentrate
Windywell
2 Oct 2019
Thank you so much for including me in your prayers too!
Need2feelbetter
2 Oct 2019
Windy
The morning anxiety was off the charts. Its has come down a bit. I would wake up in the wee hours of the morning with a jolt and immediately the anxiety would ramp.up. I could barely breathe.
Several weeks ago , I would start to be a little calmer by the 7 p.m. range. And then be able to fall asleep. But there were weeks and weeks where Ingoy 3 hours of sleep - maybe 4. Just awful. I just started to be able to sleep a 5 hour block - and not wake up with immediate panic. And the disturbing dreams have slowed a bit as well.
I do have general anxiety throughout the day. But it swaps from depression to anxiety throughout the day.
Everybody is so different. All these people going through this and bot one person is the same. Sadly, there are millions of us. I wish it werent so. I'm glad to know you are still working. That's fantastic. I hit a wall and I just broke down and couldnt do anything. Work is stressful and I just could not do it.
Do you know what may have triggered the most recent occurance.? I'm still struggling trying to figure out what happened. Looking back, the anxiety just kept getting worse. Major stress. Then.more anxiety and then depression set in and I just kept saying that nothing feels Good. I couldnt enjoy anything. That's when I knew I needed to get to the doctor.
My original doctors message said she had a waiting list - so I started looking for someone else. I found someone local and she was accepting new patients. She took me right away and I did not care for her. She gave me the script for citalopram and said start at 20. I explained to her how I had to start low before and she said that 10 mg would be for a baby. Then she told me that she had said something else that really upset me. But, I was desperate and filled the script for 20 . Took 10 at might as she said I'd sleep through side effects.. But the 2nd Night was AWFUL!! Worst medical experience I ever had. I tried calling and texting she didnt get back.to me for 2 days. She texted me and said stop the med and said she sent a script in for zoloft with out even talking with me. Within hours my original.doctor called and would see me in 2 days. Thank God. She saw me through 2 previous bouts.
It was a very hard start even to get on the meds. I'm still not 100% happy with this doctor - but she knows my history and said to.me she predicts this will work. So I pray for that to be true.
Do you like your doctor? I have not had therapy this time or the time before. But spend 2 years in therapy about 10 years ago.
Cost is unfortunately a factor. I'm not sure where your from, but insurance here is unbelievably expensive.
Sorry for the long message. I'm somewhat venting, but trying also to help you out if ar all possible. We are in such dark places and other people who've never been through this dont fully understand.
I'm not sure if you're in my time zone or close. But I hope you have a good night rest and please keep in touch. Perhaps we can help each other through this.
Windywell
7 Oct 2019
Hi how are you feeling? Any better? I’ve had a terrible week - so much anxiety, panic, depression negative thoughts and insomnia. I’m on day 11 today and no improvement at all. Just feels so hopeless right now
Need2feelbetter
7 Oct 2019
Hi Windy
I'm sorry you didnt have a good week. I know you're just starting back up on citalopram. I'm at day 22 on 30 mg after the start up ( mentioned above). I've been feeling a little less anxiety and a hair less depression. I was able to accomplish a few things that I couldnt 2 or weeks ago. I walked down my street yesterday a little further than before. The start up process for these medications are horrible. This illness is horrible. Sounds like you are in that phase right now. I understand what you are going through! For the anxiety - I did as much good breathing as I possibly could. My doctor gave me a script for Ativan - I did not take any, as I'm afraid to take it. ( even though I asked for it). I'm not one to even take ibuprofen or tylenol that often, so taking something like that scares me very much- the doctor had great warnings of addiction. So I didnt take any.
Although, I know those types of medications work well for so many people especially from the start up phase. I've read a lot of comments about them being helpful.
I'm still having depression and anxiety too. I'm trying really hard to pull myself out of this hole. Yesterday was a bad day for me. Not that any can be considered "good". Yhe weather here is dark, gey and will be like this for the whole week. So, I know this really affects me. I need sunshine in my life.
I try to walk at least 2500 steps everyday. If I can. That helps a little with the anxiety- the energy created in my. Most at least gets used a little bit. Have you tried walking around? I have just been able t start leaving the yard a bit. So I literally was walking almost a mile in my yard - laps. But, it was something! I still walk in my yard. But hope to walk down the street a little later on.
I dont have too much advice on the depression. I'm feeling it too. So you are not alone! I really keep trying to tell myself that I pulled out of this before sith citalopram - so I hope that I will this time too.
You did the same. You pulled out of the dark place. It can be done again!
Keep moving forward as hard as it is. I'm trying to do the same.
Keep in touch
~~Need2
Related topics
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Further information
- Citalopram uses and safety info
- Citalopram prescribing info & package insert (for Health Professionals)
- Side effects of Citalopram (detailed)
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