My boyfriend took 2 grams of coke to himself the other night. He rarely does coke and i mean very rarely but it wasnt his first time. Anyway we are both 18 and he went off and had sex with a 31 year old. He is so ashamed of himself he was crying and nearly getting sick the next day when he told me. He has gotten so much abuse from his friends for cheating on me and i know he is genuinely sorry. The thing is he blames it on taking coke. He described how it felt : that he went out and was convinced he didnt have a girlfriend, he said he was drenched in his own sweat and dancing on his own, he said he felt like he could run through walls and nothing would happen. He swares that he'll never do drugs again and i know hes not addicted. But is it fair for him to blame the cheating on coke? It seems to be the biggest mistake of his life hes so upset and sorry he hates himself but i dont know whether to forgive him. Do i excuse him this once and tell him its over for good if he ever does it ( coke or cheating) again?
As far as I'm concerened the coke is a much bigger deal than the cheating.
I want to give you the answer you need on the one hand he should have done better, he cannot do this and expect you to tolerate this type of behavior I don't like to be harsh, I like people and I want to be fair, make sure he understands that he is either going to have to do one or the other give up the coke or loose you, I think thats more than fair, if he knew enough to do it then he should have stopped knowing that things like this could lead to bad behavior, Do you really care for him? is he someone you can trust? has he made multiple bad decisions like this in the past? I like to think a predictor of the future is what has happened in the past, if you decide to give him another chance just point blank tell him no more excuses that if this happens again there is nothing for you to discuss it has to be up to you, I don't want to sway you and perhaps make the wrong decision, be upfront with yourself, do you think he is worth you giving him a second chance? if so then you have to be strong and lay it down to him that this is not acceptable and you will not accept him treating you this way again I hope I have given you advice that turns out to be the best for you, he is a very fortunate person to have someone like you, but stick to what you say if you do decide to allow him back then make sure he understands that you expect behavior out of him that shows he deserves you I wish you only the very best
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