I have recently joined and need some help please. I was diagnosed with depression three years ago following my fathers death. I had adopted a little girl one year before and I am single. Following my fathers death my mother developed Alzheimers and I'm caring for her as well as working. My GP prescribed citalopram 20mg and it was working well until September when I became more depressed. GP upped dose to 40mg. I reduced dose again to 20mg after about 6 weeks as worried about side effects. Suddenly six days ago I have developed obsessive intrusive thoughts about my beloved dog dying. He turned 10 six weeks ago and as he's very fit and never ill I wasn't concerned. On Wednesday I read that someone's 11 year old dog died and now I'm constantly in tears and obsessing over him dying. I'm unable to sleep or eat, I'm crying even in the supermarket. I'm constantly checking him for lumps which I fortunately can't find. 3am today I'm checking his eyes for cataracts! I know it's completely mad and I'm acting irrational. My friends think its from stress of father dying and looking after mum, daughter and working. I feel like I'm going mad. GP has put me up to 40mg again. Has anyone else felt like this? I have a constant knot in my stomach.
hello horsefan1 - yes i certainly have and still do felt like this. Of course i have no magic solution but wanted you to know you are not alone. Some of it is natural considering what you have been through - losing your father is never easy and you are probably worrying about your mother too -
i cry for hours many nights instead of sleeping usually over my dog who did die 4 years ago when she was 16. I ruminate over and over, even about a dog i gave away 30 years ago and can't forgive myself. I lost my whole family of origin shortly after that. Sometimes these things get all jumbled together.
Changing the subject or the scene works for me sometimes - just doing some easy chore or going outside even if it is just to get something out of the car. I would find a grief support group if you can and or Altzheimers Caregiver support group. I praise you for adopting a child and know she must bring you some joy - and it is great that you are a real dog person. They are so lucky to have you!
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