Hi everyone !

I don't speak english fluently so please don't judge me about that :)

Before taking this medication, i had little to no motivation and i was always seeing horrific images of myself (including self injured parts of myself). I never had violents acts on myself, but was taking drugs all day (codeine) to calm down my body. I stopped codeine for a while (maybe my only motivation moment !) and never came down again. After about 5 months (maybe more) i decided to go to the GP to talk about my problems but it was so hard to explain ! My body was shaking all day, i had bad dreams which induce me to wake up very sad, and this feeling last all day long (accompanied with all those nigthmares visions... ).

After many visits to the GP, she prescribed me mirtazapine 15mg ten days ago (i started it immediatly). it gaves me a good sleep (thanks god i really need it !), but i have to wait hours to wake up ! My dreams are now really strong and clear, but not like before. They are kinda nice and apreciable (even if they are nightmares they are clearly better than before !). But now i have really no motivation. Can't do anything all day long by myslef, just waiting the night to get rest. By chance it's holydays here (i'm a french student), but i can't do my homeworks, can't do anything... just waiting on sofa or bed...

So my question is : will i be able to find any motivation with mirtazapine ? i know it's been only 10 days i started this pill, and it needs much more time to be really effective. But i'm on the end of the school year and i really need to work hard, really hard... I don't want to stop this pill cause know i have good sleep, no seizure and no horrific images in my head, but i feel like a zombie...

Is there anyone who have experienced this ?
Thanks for reading and sorry again for grammar mistakes :)