I know that this question might not really be considered medically related but not sure where else to turn at this point. I'm hoping someone else will have some experience in this and an idea what I'm in for. I am on 3mg of suboxone and have been for .. I guess about two weeks now.. not sure. I was planning to taper quickly but at the advice of my doc.. my therapist and some folks here.. I'm grateful to be stable and am going to take my time coming off. I like how i'm feeling now. Anyway.. Strangely my childrens father seemed to be much more supportive and hopeful for me when I was using. Since i've been on subs.. its been a week of hell in so far as we are concerned. I understand his fears and anxieties.. since we have had our issues and most of them have come from me. My using effected my relationship probably more than any other aspect of my life. At this point things have gotten really tough between us and he's pulling the no family court is going to give an H junkie with a couple weeks "clean" and still on subs her children. However.. I have always been my kids primary caregiver. There is no job I take more seriously than mom.. nothing I try harder at. Nothing that gets more of my attention. Even in use my kids weren 't ever exposed to the using or the lifestyle that went with it.. I'm not justifying it. I'm saying that I wasn't stupid about the dirt I was in. I work three days a week but at night so I've always been home with them during their days. They are both smart, bright and good natured kids, I hope partly because of the time I've invested... reading, working with them to learn, keeping them involved in activities with other children and just loving them.. with everything I have to give. I am dedicated to staying clean no matter what right now.. but having my kids taken from me would be an extremely hard thing to deal with and I feel its undeserved. My relapse lasted approx. 2-3 months and before that I'd been clean for about a year.. The previous relapse had lasted about the same amount of time and prior to that I'd had four years. I just want to know if anyones gone through this. I am praying and in a way hopeful because of all the things my husband has ever said about me, that I'm a bad mom has never crossed his lips because he knows its just not the truth. If anything he's always praised me and told me how grateful he was he had this "type" of mom.. whatever that is.. any help would be appreciated. I am genuinely scared. My kids are my life. We all make mistakes, fall down.. but I got right back up and put myself together. They need me.. and I couldn't stand myself like that... Hoping for help!