I know that this question might not really be considered medically related but not sure where else to turn at this point. I'm hoping someone else will have some experience in this and an idea what I'm in for. I am on 3mg of suboxone and have been for .. I guess about two weeks now.. not sure. I was planning to taper quickly but at the advice of my doc.. my therapist and some folks here.. I'm grateful to be stable and am going to take my time coming off. I like how i'm feeling now. Anyway.. Strangely my childrens father seemed to be much more supportive and hopeful for me when I was using. Since i've been on subs.. its been a week of hell in so far as we are concerned. I understand his fears and anxieties.. since we have had our issues and most of them have come from me. My using effected my relationship probably more than any other aspect of my life. At this point things have gotten really tough between us and he's pulling the no family court is going to give an H junkie with a couple weeks "clean" and still on subs her children. However.. I have always been my kids primary caregiver. There is no job I take more seriously than mom.. nothing I try harder at. Nothing that gets more of my attention. Even in use my kids weren 't ever exposed to the using or the lifestyle that went with it.. I'm not justifying it. I'm saying that I wasn't stupid about the dirt I was in. I work three days a week but at night so I've always been home with them during their days. They are both smart, bright and good natured kids, I hope partly because of the time I've invested... reading, working with them to learn, keeping them involved in activities with other children and just loving them.. with everything I have to give. I am dedicated to staying clean no matter what right now.. but having my kids taken from me would be an extremely hard thing to deal with and I feel its undeserved. My relapse lasted approx. 2-3 months and before that I'd been clean for about a year.. The previous relapse had lasted about the same amount of time and prior to that I'd had four years. I just want to know if anyones gone through this. I am praying and in a way hopeful because of all the things my husband has ever said about me, that I'm a bad mom has never crossed his lips because he knows its just not the truth. If anything he's always praised me and told me how grateful he was he had this "type" of mom.. whatever that is.. any help would be appreciated. I am genuinely scared. My kids are my life. We all make mistakes, fall down.. but I got right back up and put myself together. They need me.. and I couldn't stand myself like that... Hoping for help!
Does anyone know how being on suboxone would effect my chances in a custody hearing?
- 25 Mar 2011 by mary..81
- 27 March 2011
Hi Mary..81 -- Congratulations of starting your new life. Every day you add another little building block to the foundation of trust your children and their father will feel for you. Hopefully, your ex will want you to get better and be there for your children--- NOT sabotage you in early recovery. Your children will always need access to both of their parents. Their relationships in adulthood will be based on what they observe from you and their father. Taper slowly from the suboxone. I am not a doctor, but I didn't rush it. The less you take, and the further apart you take it, the better. You will have some withdrawal. I don't think there is any way around it, but from what I gather talking to others who have been through it (and I have been through it too) it seems the less time you are on it, the easier it is to stop. This is a wonderful site to get advice from people who have "been there." For some reason, doctors do not seem to give information about Suboxone very freely. You almost have to ask specific questions with a "yes" or "no" answer or they won't give the information you need. I don't know what that is all about, but that was my experience, and the same goes for several friends. You might also consider going to a 12 step program, and doing exactly as the program suggests; sponsor, steps, 90/90, you will find out. If therapy is an option for you, do that too. Being on Subs is not a crime and judges have different opinions, but the fact that you are trying to get clean, and anything else you can do to enhance your recovery will probably be considered. Good luck!! C
Hey Mary, you certainly aren't the only parent here who has had custody issues and asked subs questions. Long story short, there is no concrete answer but do ask your attorney for his or her advice. Each state, county, and city have different laws, so, your attorney should have the real answer, if there is one. I will tell you that I offer you my total support and am keeping you in my Prayers. I have had a similar problem, and can only tell you to keep listening to your attorney, call and write the kids if you are not allowed visitation or overnights. This is to let the kids know you are thinking of them always. This is going to be the hard part, no matter how mean, or rude your ex is to you right now, do NOT react negatively. Be gracious, and calm, this more than anything will calm him down, and show that you have made a big turn for the better. If your ex will allow it, go to some counseling WITH the kids, pick a family counselor. It will help establish that you only want the best for your kids and are willing to do the foot work to establish a better relationship. Make sure you have support at your house when the kids aren't there and you are lonely, sad, frightened, remorseful, angry, desperate, vacant or any combination of those emotions. Just because someone has a substance dependence problems does NOT make them a terrible parent and there are terrible parents who do NOt have substance dependence problems. Most of us realize that, I believe you were a good parent. I know that I always say get counseling, but it really can help. Hang in there Girlfriend, we are all Praying for you. It will get better, it does take some time tho. Stay strong and calm. Don't dwell on the bad past, look and head for the good future. Patti Ps, your kids will always love you and miss you when they are not around you, they will probably be driving your ex crazy to see you. He will not be able to erase from their lives. You gave birth to them, they are part of you literally, they will want to see you.
- Suboxone Information for Consumers
- Suboxone Information for Healthcare Professionals (includes dosage details)
- Side Effects of Suboxone (detailed)
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