Derealization / depersonalization. Help 7 years of a laundry list of ineffective drugs?
Question posted by chicagotexas on 10 Jan 2019
Last updated on 12 October 2020
I would say that I have pretty severe derealization/dissociation/depersonalization. I am to the point where I am out of carrots and I am out of sticks. I have not felt like I was "normal" or "in my body" or even completely real for at least 2 years. I have intrusive suicidal idealization. I have been diagnosed with manic depression, ADHD, PTSD, GAD, and Panic Disorder over the course of the last seven years and have tried:
Why am I still experiencing these awful symptoms? Some drugs have helped some symptoms but even when combined and monitored by different doctors, nothing helps fully. Not long term at least. I want to feel real. What is it going to take? I am willing to do anything at this point.
Added 10 Jan 2019:
I feel like I've been a human guinea pig for nearly a decade. For reference, I am a female between 20-30.
Leo, if you see this, did you mean gabapentin helps with derealization or makes it worse? Because when I’m on it I either don’t get so fixated on not feeling real or I’m just too calm to care. But I looked into some rare side effects of gabapentin and derealization was on the list. I haven’t taken it in probably two weeks or more but still feel like I’m not real daily.
Votes: +0
LE
LeoKingRecovery17
1 Sep 2020
Reading this made me cry, I want you to know I Found the cure after a year and i'm fully healed. Listen to me and listen well
This is the Cocktail you will need 40 mg of Prozac, start with 20
and 2 Mg Klonopin 6 Mg ( Mylan version )
3 pills 2 mg each
if mylan is not aquired, its not the end of the world, any other brand will surfice accord etc
Klonopin and Prozac saved my life.
adderall will then help you along once that therapy makes you feel somewhat normal.
I Swear by Klonopin 6 mg yes excessive, you'll work your way up.
before bed every night you'll do this for about 2 months... I promise you this will set you free. please cut everything out. Klonopin, Prozac, adderall, and maybe seroqueil. NOTHING ELSE especially not gabapentin, its making it worse. I promise you. it will work.
Votes: +0
LI
Lifeisntreal
12 Oct 2020
Do you mean gabapentin does or doesn’t help? I wrote out a longer response but it wouldn’t let me comment it under yours.
CS
Cstarliper
19 Feb 2019
The first thing you need to understand is that you are not alone. I experienced a six-month stretch where I felt I could not fully experience the reality to which I was tethered. It was like there was a veil between the reality i once knew and myself. I kept looking for holes in that veil... a way to get back in.
Derealization is your brain's way of coming to your rescue and not allowing you to experience something it's not ready to. I have sat up nights thinking my mind would snap like a bow.
One of the things I find helps is a lack of sensory input. A dark, quiet room gives you control over how much input you wish to experience. If you're talking to someone but you're so depersonalized that that sound like they're speaking through a wall, you're going to become more aware of it and it's going to get WORSE.
Heavy exercise, a diet relatively low in sugar and regular participation in a meditative activity-- anything that forces you to shift your attention to a focal point (I write with my non-dominant hand because I don't like to focus on my breathing)--help you to lower your stress level to below, or just slightly below, the point where your brain says "Enough. I'm going on auxillary."
I do have some more tips but I don't want to take up the whole board. Feel free to reach out if you're interested.
Votes: +0
KO
Koomy
5 March 2019
This is great and well written. Would you please share the other tips? I have derealization almost all of the time.
CS
Cstarliper
5 March 2019
I couldn't comment on your response for some reason so I had to comment on my answer.
One of the things that I find very effective is reading. It forces me to focus on the story instead of what's going on in my head. One of the advantages to reading is that you need to be in a quiet place in order to do it. This helps with the sensory input.
Believe it or not, Tylenol can sometimes help. Tylenol is a non-specific pain reliever but the body does not distinguish between emotional pain and physical pain, so Tylenol can actually help your body to balance to the point where you can experience reality again.
Meditation can help but it depends on the type. I would avoid guided meditation because sometimes it has dissociative triggers I've found. It helps just to be with yourself and to check in on what it physically feels like to experience anger or fear. The more you focus on your body, the more it validates. you can always count on your body just like you can always count on your breathing. you won't wake up tomorrow without one.
RN
RNDianaDisabled
18 Jan 2019
I'm sorry your going though this. Your have the same diagnosis that I have! But I also have Bipolar 2. I wouldn't be surprised if you don't have some form of Bipolar also. But I have more health problems. But for my mental issues, I take: Lexapro 20mg (name brand only- generic doesn't work) daily Topiramate 50mg nightly Clonazepam 0.5mg daily at 4pm Alprazolam 1mg three daily when needed for anxiety/panic Zolpidem ER 12.5mg nightly for sleep
I had a terrible stroke. Before my stroke, I was on Depakote (about 2000mg daily..a large dose) and a much higher dose of Clonazepam and Alprazolam. I tried to get off of the Depakote. But I couldn't. When I had my stroke, they took me off of everything!!! It was AWEFUL!!! But getting off that Depakote was worth it! I recovered almost completely from my stroke.
