Adderall - I feel trapped. Can this site get me back to normal?

I am not a medical professional so take everything I say in moderation. I have ADHD and I've tried many different medications, not Adderall specifically, but stimulants like dexmethylphenidate, methylphenidate and currently Jornay PM. From what you're describing and from my experience your body may be going through withdrawal, and I know that sounds like a bad thing but not necessarily. When you take stimulants for a while to help manage something like ADHD your body becomes dependent. When you start the medication, your body has to adapt physically and chemically so once you take it for a while and your body gets used to that rhythm it doesn't want to stray from it. I'm not sure how to help you seeing as from what you've stated you don't have access to Adderall, but if you can find a provider I would say ask to be put back on the Adderall or at least something to help calm you. I wish there was more I could give you, but from my experience after having to stop my medication for a few months last summer the only thing that helped with that feeling is starting my medication again.