Hey guys! I will start off by saying that I have been using opiates for about 3 years now. It started with vikes..then perks..then methadone and now I am a mess. My whole life has been ruined. Before the methadone I was taking 5 percocet 10mg at a time and it wasnt even giving me a buzz (This is also after being on percocet for over a year). I am a 22 year old girl and I only weigh about 120lbs... My tolerance was sky high. What made me hit rock bottom was when I got a hold of a bunch of methadone and started using that because it made me feel normal... i was taking 10-20 10mg methadone a day for the last 6-8 months. Last thurs I ran out of methadone and was using percocet to get through the withdrawals. Finally enough was enough and I got a hold of this AMAZING suboxone dr. I had my induction on Tues..but the problem was I took 5 15 mg roxies at 4 am before my induction. When I got my first 8mg dose of Sub I immediately went into precipitated (?sp?) withdrawal for about an hr... then I started to feel a little more comfortable. The comfortable feeling didnt last so I took another 8mg pill later that night. Tuesday night was the worst night of my life I did not sleep a wink I had the worst wd pains the RLS..the hot and cold flashes that run through ur body and make u feel awful and of course the diarrhea and the stomach pain (and anxiety feeling) right above my belly button. On wed my dr increased my sub to 3x a day (8mg) slowly by taking halves. STILL NO RELIEF? I slept last night maybe for 2 hrs at best and I am completely miserable. I took my sub this morning and still I am uncomfortable and miserable and I cant even take anything to relieve my twitchy legs or my anxiety belly pains or the INTENSE hot and cold flashes. I have even considered suicide (I also suffer from bipolar)..I can't do this anymore. Does anyone have any good advice? I need help before I do something that I can't take back. No one in my life understands how hard it is to feel these symptoms CONSTANTLY for days on end while I can't sleep or barely sit down. My dr will be calling me today to see how the 3X a day is doing..and I have my second appt tomorrow... but I am just not hopeful. To top things off my fiance who was my partner in crime with using..he is feeling completely normal from 2 8mg a day. He sleeps and isn't suffering at all. I am hysterically crying right now bc I can't deal anymore. PLEASE HELP!!! thank u!!
12 Aug 2010
please do me a favore, I have been there before and can relate to EVERYTHING you are saying. I am begging you to call your doc and tell him/ her exactly what you just said. better yet print this out of what you wrote. Any compassionate Dr is not going to let you do something that will be regretted later especially when they were told. They are not allowed to let you go ahead and do nothing in case it comes back to find out they knew what was happenning. they have to help in some way, which I dont know what but all I know they cannot just let you go ahead and let you try to take care of it on your own. I am he e for you. My story is long and would love to share it however I just had surgergy on my right hand and having a hard time typing plz scuse typos.
I will add you as a friend and hopefully I can help in some way to make things a bit easier . been there many times and done it.
12 Aug 2010
I know the feeling you need to tell your doc they have to liten by law.I was in the hospital in march and they began weaning me and I did not recall this but I suposably said let me go home I can take all my meds and be out of pan. next I knew they had to bring in a private nurse to stay in my room 24/7 since I suposably according to her said I was gonna kill myself, and she said she would have been responsible since she heard it from me.
please let me know how things go
12 Aug 2010
I think it was the roxies that messed you up. The next few days are gonna be tough on you but don't check out on us OR give in to the opiates! You are lucky to have such a good sub doc. As a matter of fact, as sweetlemon suggested, I would print out this page and bring it with you to your appt. It clearly explains the misery you are in and will help your doc better understand. Hang in there. We are all pulling for you. Do you have access to a hot tub? Whirlpool? If anything, soak in hot bath for the RLS. And since your fiance is feeling ok, ask him for a deep muscle massage on your legs with warm oils. Especially the thighs, calves, and feet. Even the butt massage will help! Don't laugh, it's so true. Also ask your sub doc if there is another med you can take with the sub to help relieve some of these nasty symptoms you are having. I honestly feel your pain. More than you could know.
Hang in there M and let your doc know everything going on.
My best wishes,
12 Aug 2010
First I'd like to tell you that, your not alone. You sound like someone that was trying to cover up alot of pain. I understand. Try not to be too hard on yourself and understand that this did not happen overnite... right? So really its not going to go away in a night. It also sounds like you are lonely because you stated that you felt no one understands what you are going through. Please do not keep taking subs in order to feel better... You must understand that if you take 3... that is plenty... there will be some discomfort, but belive me it is only a matter of time before your serum levels level out, but you must give it a little while. I totally understand about the lack of sleep and RLS... I really do. You are strong enough to do this, and you have to be strong, but please know it will get better, and while you are experiencing this, try to go to a NA meeting, get lots of hugs, and know that people care about your recovery, they dont call it recovery for nothing, your body(and mind) have alot of recouping to do, so try and be patient and get in a support group asap... you can do this, I promise.
12 Aug 2010
hey coniker403 I have ha that same prec. withdrawl that makes you feel like yur gonna die I went thru it for a couple days, no muscle ontrol jerkin like crazy i mean the worst thing ive ever expirienced im on subs now 24mg i feel a little spaed out actually a lot but the sick wds r gone hope you are feeling better I gaurantee it will get better..stay on the rightgeous path good luck
12 Aug 2010
Talk about some amazing strength and advice from some kind peeps. I agree. It is the hardest first week ever and before long it is looking back as if, ya I could eat a 40mg oxy and clean house and be fine, now if I ate a 20 I'd pass out and be toast. It gives you a different perspective when someone else has to go thru it also. It is hard to be strong when it is a weakness in itself. The mind is a powerful thing and for some reason I allowed mine to overcome the struggle. I didnt think I would live to tell about it, shakes and misery wanting the stupid nights to go by faster. It IS ALL WORTH IT IN THE END I PROMISE. You will look back and see the post and think oh look and I am five months off of the opiods. Or in my case~ 9months... you can do it!!Best wishes to you and a quick detox... chat me if you need any support!!!
13 Aug 2010
Sounds like you are taking too much! Thats why your fiance' is feeling ok.
I kicked a massive habit started on 2, 8mg. a day. on day 3 I dropped to 1/2 a pill 2 times a day. methocarbamol is great for twitch and RLS! Try much less. It couldn't hurt. It worked for my friends too.
16 Aug 2010
First, you have NOT ruined your life!!! You can turn it around, I've just given up heroin after 21years, YES, years on it. Ok, I never fixed, but I've been every bit an addict all that time. I agree with others bout NA & AA... if it works for you , fine, but I think this site can prob help you more. One thing that helps me is just knowing that we're all fighting the same demons, & we've got to help each other. I'm only 8 days on subbies, so not up to writing too much yet, but I'll keep an eye on you! Love, hugs, & loads o luck.xxx
16 Aug 2010
forgot to add babe, for some reason, (prob cos they'll never go thru childbirth!!), guys always seem to have an easier time than us; I do beleive there is a medical reason for this, just don't expect him to have the same experiences as you/us... it really is true, I got sick to death of guys saying, stop moaning, I'M OK!! we're all different, we're all facing our own demons. You know what, I have a daughter your age, thank the lord she's seen the mess I made, & will never touch drugs, it's prob made her hard, I'm not getting the support I'd wish for, but hell, she didn't ask to be mine, she's not my mum! As long as you ask for support, "F" the pro's... the only pro's are us, cos we bought the Tshirt...
I'm gonna try & mark you a friend, only joined this site yesterdy, & not the best on a comp, so may take a day, but sometimes, the best way to beat this is to try & support another, the feedback gives you hope, & strength... it takes one to know one babe. tell me anything you want, as I hope I can do with you... go girl, I beleive in you, otherwise you wouldn't even be bothering to write me!!! Hugs again... we all need mates xx
21 Aug 2010
likely the roxy for sure. you CAN NOT mix the two. you have to be well into withdrawal 18 to 24 hours at minimum before you begin the subutex or suboxon and you cant mix anything after you begin them or you will get an accellortated and stronger withdrawal experience as your having. immediate relief is hard to come by but keep liquids in your system, try something to help you sleep through it. ambian or whatever, and dont mix the two ever again. it is instant death feeling. ive been there. keeping your room dark may help to with light sensitivity. sometimes raising your dosageof SX does not help, it makes it worse. its not like the roxy or whatever where if a few is good a few more is better. the goal is to find the dose to ease your wd and not to go above that thinking it will help. it likely wont. it will likely make you feel worse. then you have to worry about how to ween off of it.
find the right dose of which ever one subutex or suboxon and stick to the plan on decreasing dosage until finished. and you need to finish it. all the way down to an eighth of a pill. i couldnt believe it till i experienced it. dont take to much or to little. it will only make your life worse. trust me, i have tried everything to beat a 1500 to 2000mg a day habit of oxy n roxy for the last 3 years. S and S are two drugs you simply have to follow the program from start to finish without deviation. it sux i know and it makes you feel as though your the only one to ever had to deal with such hell but your definitely not cause ive been there myself and you will survive just remember this misery the next time you want to try it again. just aint worth it.
23 Aug 2010
I came upon this message 1 week after you posted it. The advice someone posted for you was exactly right. I hope you're still hanging in there. I am 33 and I've been on almost every type of opiate there is for Juvenile Rheumatiod Arthrirtis, Osteoporosis, Neuropathy, Fibromyalgia, etc, etc... I have been abusing opiates since I was a young teen. The withdrawl symptoms you described, I totally understand. The, can't sit still, can't eat' can't sleep, hot flashes, the runs and the chills. Your pain multiplies by 10 and your anxiety skyrockets. I am in the process of trying to straighten out my life. I live in a Nursing Home so it makes doing the right thing extra hard. Unfortunately my doctor's don't want to work with me. So much so that I'm looking to be transfered to a different facility. I have a medical need for pain control but teaching myself to deal with the pain instead of popping another pill is the problem. You're more than welcome to get in contact with me if you need someone who understands to talk to.
13 Nov 2010
Ugh, your words take me back... The thing that makes me really sad in your story is where you say that your whole life has been ruined. You are really, really young. You are taking a big step which is getting stable. You cannot do much in life when your running around chasing your next fix and letting all the other things fall apart. Listen, I felt just like you when I quit drinking, not physically but mentally. Everyone hated me, or so I thought. Nobody trusted me or believed I could keep away from the alcohol. Meetings saved my soul. Nobody judged me there. It felt like I had been given a dose of something very powerful, even though I only had coffee and a cookie. I think it was a dose of empathy and fellowship. I leaned on those women until I suddenly noticed it had been 30 days, then 60 days, then 90 days, etc. that I hadn't touched booze. My family and 'normal' friends starting believing in me and it turns out they did love me all along.
My life wasn't ruined. You will be surprised how fast you can get your life back on track when you are in your right mind and making good decisions. I haven't had a single drop of alcohol in 5+ years. You have to just take my word for it when I say your life isn't ruined. If you really stick with it and stay on the straight and narrow path, you can do and be anything if life. If that sounds corny, I'm sorry, but I promise you it's true. The sky is still the only limit for you. If I was there, I'd give you a hug. As far as the Sub goes, I've been on it for years. You will level out completely. It sounds like your initial experience was a nightmare. That's not the way it will be in the future at all!! So, get excited, because now your life is really going to start!
19 Nov 2010
I also was on percocet 10mg for 4 years and it took over my life,friends,family and my 3 children. I was always scared that my children would find me dead in the bed from an overdose. I would wake up in the middle of the night and had to catch my breath. The pills took over my life & took all my money and families money. When I ran out of pills I did not care who I hurt nor did I care about anything but getting pills for my fix. My daughter takes ADHD meds and one morning when I was giving her her ADHD meds she looked at me and said look mom I take pills just like you, I about died when she told me that and I did not want her to turn out like me. My oldest son is 13 and he told me that he hated that I am on pills and told me I was going to die. My youngest boy is to young to understand what was going on. Thats when I hit rock bottom and I found a website about suboxone and filied out my info and I had about 6 doctors who contact me by email and thats where I found my doctor.
He put me on suboxrone 8mg/2mg 3 times a day and also did not work. I went to his office 4 times within 10 days and I am on 4 a day but I did go through withdraws & still do but has gotten alot better. My first 7 days was hell, I had hot & cold flashes,my knees ached,I was real dizzy for 7 days and felt I could not move on but I prayed and said no I am going to do this, today is 32 days without a pill. And I feel more alive and can see life so much different then I did 32 days ago. The suboxrone do help and everyone is different. Also my husband used pills with me and now he takes suboxone as well and he feels great and I felt like my world was ending and know one understood. But I have been on pills for 4 years & he has been on for 1 year. That makes a big differents. My doctor told me that withdraws can last up to 3 months and I will have to be on suboxrone for 6 months to a year. But my withdraws has gotten a lot better but I still ache after 5 hours when I need to take another one. Addition is real powerful and our bodies and mind are use to taking large amount of pills so when we take suboxrone 3 to 4 times a day our body wants more and wants that high level and suboxone only gives you that middle high and that is why we go through what we are going through. But once your body gets use to the suboxone you will feel like a new person. So please do not give up, you will get there, it will not last forever. Thank you & I hope this helped.
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