| || |
hello all. im 21 years young and i have a drug problem which , as i do not feel is taking over my life, is becoming more prominant as the days pass. I have been taking pain killers for almost 4 years now. it sounds worse then it is. i broke my leg when i was 15 and revieved some meds but did not start taking them illegally till after high school. i first did them to make me last longer while having sex which is to the equation. eventually half on fridays and saturdays wasnt cutting it and i would pop a half on sad but true. i would take half a perc 5 or maybe half a vike 750 and that would be it for a weeks and it was no where near an addiction. i started to buy whatever i could from friends who had percscriptions for pain or wisdom teeth w.e it was i liked having them. they were always my safety net. i saw my first perc 30 senior year of high school. i didnt start taking them recreationally till i was about 18 or 19. it started very slow. i would buy half a 30 and it would last friday and saturday and i would drink and smoke on them. (you should probably know that i am a daily pot smoker and a cigarette smoker since i was 18. i do not find a problem with either of these things and even though they could have led me to my addiction i do not blame pot or cigarettes at all however eventually i would like to get off of those too). you should also know that i have an extremely weak stomach and >> say about 35 percent of the times i take pills i would wind up throwing them up, usually when drinking is added a weekday here and there. and then summer2010 came. this is where i really started to go down hill. for the past two years i have seen these pills become the biggest problem amongst kids my age. they are easier to get then a pack of cigarettes and i watched some of my best friends slip into a state where i dont even know them. i even had two people close to me die from them but i always told myself i couldnt o.d i dont take enough and im not addicted i just enjoy it. well the summers over. for the last 2 months ive been taking 30 mg a day and i have 4 dollars in my bank account. i have resorted to stealing money from my parents for the last week and thats when i realized that i did have a problem. heres my situation for the last month or so of summer
Wake up at around 3 pm. if there was anything i had to do i would get it done before five. i would usually go into work at five where i had a boss who was just as bad as me with pills. so he would wind up getting two for him and one for me. i would pop this pill when i got off at around ten. smoke my daily blunt and smoke about a pack and a half of ciggarettes and not fall asleep till sometimes 8 or 9 in the AM no earlier then 5. and then i would repeat this process. recently it has gotten to the point where 30 mg isnt enough and sometimes i would sniff another half.
my biggest problem may be that i am so good at hiding it from everyone. even my girlfriend has no idea. my friends dont know how severe my problem is either and a part of me is scared to tell them i dont really know why. now it has gotten to the point where i know i should stop but everynight at around ten i start feeling bad. I know if i take a perk the feeling will go away and il feel normal again and thats what >> usually do.
well here i am first week of school and still addicted. friends of mine have been going on suboxon to get over it. i have gotten to this point once before and actually managed to stay clean for about two weeks but then got back on it. tonight is my first night without taking a thirty in about a month. i absolutely hate this feeling and i know the next few weeks are gonna be really tough but hopefully i could get through it. i know i am no where near as bad as i could be but i have been telling myself that for years now and it has gotten only gotten progressively worse and i know if i keep that mentality i will never get any better only more addicted. well thats my story. any tips thoughts or advice are welcomed.
Last edited by ddcmod; 09-09-2010 at 06:34 AM.
Perc 30? Do you mean Roxy? Percs are oxycodone and APAP, whily roxy/oxy are a higher dose of oxycodone (20, 30, 40, etc.), with no APAP.
It doesn't matter, though. I am just curious. Well, I am 21 years, as well. I know EXACTLY how it starts, my friend. And you're making a good call to kick in the ass right now, trust me. You're addiction is relatively low. Up until about 10 days ago, I was on 130-180 mgs of oxycodone, as well as 20 mgs of Opana (mg for mg, about twice as strong as perc), and I was able to do it. Your symptoms should be MUCH less sever, and should be over within a few days.
I wouldn't recommend suboxone for this. I really think you can do this without relying on another addiction. Avoid caffeine and alcohol for a few days. If you can, get a benzo. Xanax of valium, preferably, but any will do. Don't take that any longer than a week, since it is also highly addictive. That will help with the nerves, anxiety, and help you sleep. I prefer ristoril (genereic Temazepam), as it is also a sedative, but others might disagree.
Just ride it out, bud. I promise, you'll feel a lot better within a few days. And make this time the last. I know from experience, every time you have to go through this, the worse it is.
Keep posting as often as you can. I can help you through all of this, or at least lend an ear. I am going through this RIGHT now, as are many other people here. Even if you just need to vent, post in this thread. We are here to help. Good luck to you, friend!
I hear ya!
Hi changes. It looks like you're new here, me too! I read your story and first off congratulations for wanting to make a change. That's always the first step. I just have a few questions. When you say 30mg of what you're currently taking, do you mean oxycontin? Or morphine sulfate maybe? I know you mentioned percocet before, but those are only available in 2.5, 5. 7.5. Or 10 mgdosages. They have a smaller amount of oxycodone and are mixed with acetaminophen, whereas oxycontin is plain oxycodone and it comes in MUCH higher strengths, so I'm thinking that's what you're taking. (Ironically I used to work in a pharmacy lol). I believe I read that you're taking it once daily at night? Or was it more? I was taking up to 110mg of hydrocodone five times a day at my lowest point. When you took them at night, when did you start feeling bad the next day? Were your withdrawals pretty bad? What kind of withdrawals did you experience? And why didn't suboxone stick with you before? I'm taking it now and I feel like its given me my life back, i feel completely normal again. I'm sure you're going to do great tonight, I remember when my first withdrawals would start in the past I would take a very hot bath and that helped me. Working with a boss that condones you taking pills like that definitely isn't helping your situation. It would be so wise of you to get yourself out of any situation that used to be associated with using the pills. My relapses happened because I wasn't changing those aspects of my life, also because my withdrawals were so bad and I had pills right in front of me. Most addicts wouldn't have the will power when they're RIGHT THERE lol. But seriously, is there anywhere else you can work? I understand if not, that's a tough situation to be in. I really feel fore you. Would you consider suboxone therapy again? Did you have a bad experience with it? I think after I get to know you more I can help you as much as possible. I'm early in my recovery so we can do this together! Please keep in touch, let me know how you're doing. I'll be checking this often. We can be recovery buddies! And we will both do great! Ok, gotta get ready for work. Please have a good day!
Last edited by ddcmod; 09-09-2010 at 03:24 PM.
A perc 30 is a 30 mg percocet with no tylenol. It is also know as roxycodone.