I was recently diganosed with being bi-polar and a panic disorder. I was suppose to be diganosed with being a schio but i was 17 and i told the doctor i would put his medical license on the line if he tried that so he didn't do that. That was on 2002 i'm 22 now. I always go in for the same reason. Trying to kill myself. I pretty much pissed the doctor off and it seemed to me they just wanted another 100000 dollars from my parents or insurance or however they got paid. i was in a coma sort of. They put me on 1000 miligrams of serquel XR, lithum, a benzo i told them i didn't want it. but they told me i kinda had to take it or i would have a serziure. They had to put me on pain pills to cause of injuriest. I don't wanna be so specific. They tired me on every medication they were approved to give out. I went through it all.
I don't like being susicale. all the time. I'm already planing on doing it again but this time its going to work and not look like an accident like i tired before. On my birthday.
I quit taking serquel XR because I hated the feeling of being in a sedated coma. and I have having lots of side affects after being on it for a MONTH.
I've almost got my b.s degree so i am smart i just freak out on people.
One thing I have a huge problem with is wanting to kill myself. I'm so numb to it i can talk about doing it and not think their is anything wrong with it. I really should of died a bunch of times but never did. I can prove it with pictures i've totalled a few to many cars. I quit going to see my counisler because we weren't getting anywhere. I really would like to not feel like killing myself all the time but its like by not killing myself i'm just preventing the enitable. Its going to happend its happend a lot on both sides of my family. I'd love some feedback about people dealing with the same thing. Not somebody who sit in a classroom to make money dealing with peole like me. someobdy who is actually going through the same thing of has gone thorough and what works for them. tell me what works for you. i'm not a mean person i just get really sad. I've been on additive medicaiton that works but it always eventually quits. I have so much to say but i'm afraid of what i've already written.