[leiito]

I posted part of this on another thread, but as it's an interesting phenomenon I wonder if anyone else has the same experience on Sub:

While opiated I was always nice and understanding, H or methadone and even when I was craving I never got real mean.

Strangely enough, I nasty and almost violent a couple of weeks into Subutex therapy. I would snap to people for no obvious reason, make mean remarks and generally put people down for absolutely no reason. I have the misfortune to often be around people who consider such behaviour normal so it didn't register for me until I started being real nasty to my wife who had been nothing but understanding and supportive.

I am not an excessively violent person, but on Subutex it took very little for me to lose it and start slapping or at least make very serious threats, way out of proportion to the perceived offense people made.

My sense of humor got very dark.

This unexplainable nervousness and strange behavior went away when I started working out a week ago. I push myself real hard on both cardio and weights and it seems like the endorphine factory re-opened, I actually get a pleasant high after exercise (only aerobic does this though, weights only do not make me high).

Sub does the trick in some ways (I can perform sexually for instance and have the desire to, something I almost forgot about while being opiated),

Another thing on Sub, at least for me, was that I did not get my energy back. I was as lethargic (or lazy) as on H or methadone. Most people report an energy boost almost high-like in nature, I felt nothing of the kind, but again, exercise helped.

One thing ever exercise doesn't help with though, too often I find myself in deep contemplation, not a bad thing per se, but I feel as I were less social than before, as if I am content (if not happier) being by myself.

Weird thing, opiates, but nothing beats the weirdness of Bupe.

P.S.
To make it even weirder, cocaine doesn't work for me anymore. As much as I tried to take and as good as it was, I feel absolutely nothing. I smoked base once while on Bupe and only felt physical discomfort. Not a bad side-effect, just unexpected. Ganja works though.

[bean8676]

I just wanted to comment on what you said about being not as social...I have thought that exact same thing about myself! I often will be asked to hang out by my friends, but I simply don't feel a desire...I feel apathetic and would prefer just being by myself, I just feel content. And I find that I don't really miss social contact with friends if I don't have it in a while...this doesn't really apply to my boyfriend though for some reason. Anyway, I started taking suboxone quite a while ago actually; the first time I started taking it was around January 2006, I took it as part of a rehab program, so it was probably for about 30 days starting in detox and then I was weaned off at the end. After that it was back to doing more heroin...but I ended up going to a methadone clinic, but I was like the only one taking suboxone, and it's a little foggy but I guess I started that a couple months later maybe? But through that year I was still doing heroin on and off that whole time, so I wasn't really letting it work (although it does work great for me). So I guess finally the time came around April of 2007 when I switched clinics, and really seriously started taking the suboxone and letting it work. I now haven't used since around June of 2007...so it's been a little over a year. That's kind of a long time to be taking suboxone isn't it? I was at 16 mg for a long time, but last January or February 2008 I went down to 12...and I was in that mindset where I really wanted to try get off it (I guess for the sake of my boyfriend...I met him in April of '07 also and he pretty much made me quit smoking too...otherwise he threatened to break up with me!) So then about 2 weeks after going down to 12 I went down to 8. That was when I started feeling really weird...plus I had just gotten done weaning off Paxil and Chantix (prescription drug you can take to quit smoking...you take it for 3 months) so that probably didn't help...but I was just feeling really strange, like something was missing. So I went back to 12...probably not the best idea but I just did it. My boyfriend always asks me when I'll be completely done with it, and I always say soon, but I'm really not so sure how soon it really will be. I know I'm addicted to it, and it kind of scares me to get off it. I only have to go to my clinic now every 2 weeks because of how long I've been going there and my clean UA's. I just did a google search about suboxone and this site came up...I often think about my dose, it's kind of like smoking, my days seem to revolve around it and I'm very picky about how I take it. I split my first 8 miligram dose in the morning and put each half under either side of my tongue (I heard it dissolves better that way) and then later in the evening I take my 4 milligram. I heard this is the best for absorption and "feeling it" throughout the day, after it wears off from the morning...but lately I've been wanting to go up again to 16. I guess it was cuz I had some extra 4 milligram tablets from when I didn't take my second half in the evening, and I had a real stressful weekend last weekend after fighting with my boyfriend, so every night I took an extra of those 4 milligram tablets. I noticed the difference...I felt good, like I was getting some sort of high. I felt happier...it was strange. I could feel it more. I just keep thinking how yeah I'm not really feeling a desire to shoot up anymore, like those heroin days are behind me...but now it's like I have a whole new addiction to deal with, suboxone. I know I got a little side-tracked from my original response, but if anyone reads this and has any feedback or advice I would greatly appreciate it.