ineedofan...Friends:
I need some help here. I have been off of opiates (perks, oxy's, dilaudid) for 23 days. I have been taking them daily for 4 years and have been dopesick hundreds of times, and have never made it this far. I am still having monster withdrawal. I am still sneezing, having diarrhea, difficulty sleeping, and anxiety that is INTOLERABLE. I have been taking a few klonopin, and it helps with anxiety and sleep. I only had 5, and i only got 5 for a reason. I do NOT want to become physically dependent on benzo's as the kick from them is so much worse than opiates. My line of work is a drug counselor and i dont want to seem like i know everything. I know what to tell, and how to encourage OTHER PEOPLE, but not myself. This seems like a never ending story. I still have no energy. I know the length of time varies. I went to rehab and seemed to do better when i was there, as my days were full. Now i am home, my kids go off to school, and i spend my days fighting everything. I dont have the energy to shower, but i make myself. Everything is a chore. Am i ever going to feel better? If so, how soon. I am on the verge of relapse or reversion cuz i feel like i cant take it ONE MORE SECOND. I swear, i wouldnt wish this on my worst enemy, and would rather battle some life threatning illness than ever go through this again. And, if you have ever kicked ops, you know that every minute seems like an hour and the days are long. Will i ever be normal again? I have seen others get through it, but its just not happening for me. Please help me with some advice, encouragement or kind words. Thank you friends. P.S. I CANNOT do the NA meetings. Ive tried. God Bless the people for whom it works. I dont knock it, its just not for me.
LaurieShay
Rigboy21
sthomas45...
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itsjustas...
Laurie:
Thank you so much for answering. I turned to this site, because no one knows the answers, like someone who has been through it. I cant tell you the number of "medical professionals" who have told me that opiod wd lasts for 3 to 5 days. That is such a load of crap!!! Im not trying to discourage anyone by saying that, but were it that easy, this site wouldnt exist and we'd just be signing up for the flu, and be all fresh and recovered in 3 days to 5 days. Its hard, very hard. I think the hardest part is the mental part, knowing that one shot, one sniff, or one or two pills is the magic cure, and it makes it all magically go away.
I put down crack cocaine 11 years ago and have not turned back. I slept for 3 days and moved on with my life. I remember people in the rehab who were kicking opiates, heroin or benzo's saying to me "atleast you can just sleep it off". I now understand what they meant.
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I am TERRIFIED of relapsing and know that it IS a real option/threat to me, should i not start to feel better. Honestly, i dont really feel much better on day 23 than i did on day 3. The severity has lessened, but nonetheless, its still there. I wake up with my heart racing, feeling like the worst mother, worst wife, worst person, worst citizen. I actually dont even have to have ANY thought, and my body feels like there is a fog horn going off inside of me. I am now out of the 5 klonopin, and know that i will get no sleep. Ive tried breathing deep. I have this urgent sense of uneasiness, and at this point, its the worst part. I can deal with the sneezing, i can deal with the upset stomach/diarrhea. I am afraid to go to a dr. because ive been, and they look at you as an addict and aren't really interesting in real help. For the record, i DID NOT sign up for this. This is due to a back injury. At first it was about reducing/eliminating the pain. They made me feel soooooo much better, and gave me an energy that i needed to deal with small children. Then it became about staying well and being able to function. My pain is much better than before so i dont need opiates to be able to deal with my pain any longer. I have been using them for a lonnnnng time for many reasons other than the pain.
I still have zero energy or motivation. I am sorry to ramble or complain. I am just sincerely disappointed at the lack of progress, despite my very best efforts. Any idea when the fog horn anxiety will stop? Thank you again.
I wish I could say it would only be another week or something like that but I can't say for sure. You have been experiencing the withdrawls for longer than most people at least with opiate withdrawl anyway. It will get better soon though, I can promise you that.
May I suggest some herbal remedies for the insomnia and anxiety. Try melatonin for sleep and valerian root for anxiety. It can't hurt and may well be the help you need to get through this. Check it out at the grocery or pharmacy tomorrow.
Hang in there and send me a message anytime. I'll friend you and you can private message me if you want.
Laurie
Thank you Laurie. We share the same thoughts regarding the length of wd that i have been experiencing. However, i did kick methadone and was REALLY ill for a long time. That was back in August 2010. I never got over it, hence my starting to use again. If this ignorant anxiety would go away, the rest is cake. i just want to feel like i used to feel and have a sense of well being and peace, that can only come from the inside. Thats what im looking for. A little energy would be nice too. I always have seen, through my exp as a drug counselor, that energy is the last to return. Thank God i have a patient husband.
I am going to try to watch some tv and hopefully get some sleep. But, know this, you have done your good deed for today and helped so much. tomorrow is supposed to pour rain, all day. However, the day after, i promise to go for a short walk, and maybe tomorrow i will get the valerian root and the melatonin. Very good, sound, easy to obtain answers.
I keep thinking that there must be something physically wrong with me... i DO wonder with this type of anxiety, as i am more prone to bi polar or depressive episodes. Ive not experienced this type of anxiety, ever! I know the feeling of anxiety that is associate with wd, and it feels the same. I just had all kinds of blood work done, urinalysis etc. The only thing wrong was a UTI. What the hell!!!
I'll pray that you have sweet dreams and keep in touch. BTW I would love to learn more about the different types of opoids: agonist vs antagonist that you shared on the other post. I've so much to learn. Thanks.
I don't know that there is anything physically wrong with you like an infection or whatever. Your body and brain just need time to adjust. When you said it had been 3 weeks of withdrawl and the anxiety was the biggest symptom now, I did think to myself, "I wonder if she has an underlying mental illness like bipolar or anxiety disorder." I can't say but if things don't clear up soon, you may have to consider that.
Laurie:
I posted a list of opioid agonists vs. opioid antagonist. It is up for approval from the site managers. I got the list from wikipedia (alot of medical terms and hard for a non dr. to understand). However, google it if you are interested. I am blessed to know what happens in the brain when we take these meds. However, i, like you, have much to learn.
Hi, Im almost two weeks off opiates & feel like ick... I dont know how long this will take but im getting really tired of it... I guess if we really want this we have to hang in there... best of luck Heidi
Hey Heidi,
If it has been two weeks since you took any opiates then you are through the worst of the withdrawls. It will gradually get better from here on out. Hang in there and you will be an opiate free, feeling good person soon.
Thanks Laurie, Gives me some thing to hold on to thanks lots... Heidi