I sit here day after day thinking about how strong and useful I was. I enjoyed designing my yard landscaping, going to work, and in general being productive. Now that the accumulating multiple pain has taken over my life and made me more of a dreamer than a doer, I feel hopeless and a burden to my family. On disability no money and taking pain meds to get through the day of multiple pains while looking forward to a lower back shot every two months. This started out as low pain got worse and is now running my life for with out injections and meds my quality of life sucks. The only thing i look forward to these days is being with my grandchildren and interacting while having a feeling of childhood. I can let go for a moment then I pick one up and remember oh I had to wake up again to do this all over. Multiple pain takes the spirit out of a guy. The system really is a big let down. Any one have similar or same issues. I find I need to talk about things, any one game?
Any of you feel so damn useless having chronic pain?
Question posted by jacy53 on 25 Dec 2009
Last updated on 4 January 2024
155 Answers Page 2
Right there with you. Explain your heart out, but unless someone understands, they'll never understand. Chronic pain sucks, especially when it can't be physically seen.
Oh my goodness, yes! My youngest child is ten, he always knew me to be up and at 'em, going and doing, helping everyone- now I'm terrified to wake in more pain than I can handle. I always had Percocet and a good muscle relaxer. I was stopped cold turkey after years on those meds. I am drowning in pain, and yes, it breaks my heart to have days when I cannot even clean or cook. I literally feel what you are going through. Terrible time getting"medical care". Doctors are definitely not what they used to be. I am struggling to find anything that helps me out even minimally at this point. Angers me, as he is Autistic and has many physical problems as well, needs wheelchair periodically, etc. I know they need to make an exception for people who struggle like this, sleep is long ago and far away as well, putting another level of difficult to my day. I just started Celebrex for the inflammation and I am very nervous about any new meds at this point.
They all have much worse side effects than anything I have ever taken before. I often wonder why they prescribe them at all- the other meds worked perfectly with no side effects. I'd love to talk to you about it all!
10 years with narco 5. And Muscle relaxes. No side effects. Help a little. Put me on nerve medications. Not as strong as the one you have. Terrible side effects I quit using him. I'd rather be in pain, Then Dizzy blurry eyed, Sensation like I'm going to fall. They want to take me off my meds too.
10 years with narco 5. And Muscle relaxes. No side effects. Help a little. Put me on nerve medications. Not as strong as the one you have. Terrible side effects I quit using him. I'd rather be in pain, Then Dizzy blurry eyed, Sensation like I'm going to fall. They want to take me off my meds too.
Yes. me too. where did my life go? what happened to my creativity? Where did the fine detail go from my work? I don't seem to care anymore. My back hurts every day going from a pain meter of 8 to 5 to10 by the end of the day. Some pain pills work, some have bad results doing more harm than good. I try not to take pain pills but this makes the pain worse. I get shots but they don't last. I also have a hiatal hernia, another reason to lay around in my lounge chair to wait for the food to go down. Lots of naping. Bad isn't it? Not sure what to do. chiropractor helps some times, Acupuncture does not work at all.
I completely understand how you feel. I often refer to myself as “the old me” and “the new me”. I’m still the same person I always was but, I’m trapped in this useless, pain filled body. I’ve been in pain for 26 years now. I’ve had over 40 surgeries, have more diseases than I can name. The pain is unbearable. My pain doctor that was amazing closed down his practice and all other pain doctors are scared to prescribe opioids. So, a year ago I detoxed of opioids at home and now I’m bedridden and take Advil and Tylenol for pain. Went to the doctor today and they are concerned about my liver and kidney function from taking Advil and Tylenol. The nurse asked me what I enjoyed doing and I burst in to tears because all I could think about was what I used to be able to do. I used to work 80 hours a week and was active, kickboxing, etc.
I feel you about disability too. The amount you get is so small and you don’t get the feeling of accomplishment like you do when you can work. Even though the disability is money you worked for. I feel like a burden too. I know your family doesn’t feel that way about you. I bet your grandchildren are just crazy about you & so happy when they get to see you! Just remember you aren’t alone in this, there are a lot of of that know exactly how you feel!
I do feel useless. I’m like a blob af skin that takes up space.
Yes I do feel helpless and even hopeless at times. My pain has never been controlled, even with medication, physical therapy, exercise, stable and acceptable weight, OTC medications combined with pain medication and assistive devices like braces, cane or Walker. I have been having the chronic pain since 2009! Each year it gets worse because something new has started to hurt. I have osteoarthritis along with some other conditions. My lower back is the worst of my pain. Overall I have had 7 surgeries on various body parts but the worst have been the cervical fusion and lumbar fusion. They didn't help the pain at all plus they created other issues. Now it's to the point I can't even work and it will take so long to get disability. I have chronic migraines as well, 15 plus a month. I don't want to leave my house, socialize and I can't do any of the things I live to do.
It takes me 3 days just to clean my house and then I am exhausted, frustrated and angry. I especially feel bad for my husband. I know as time passes it's only going to get worse and I need yo come to terms with that accept it and find joy and thankfulness for what I do have but it's a long terrifying journey. Thanks for your share, you are not alone
Not useless just cannot do all the activities I used to love doing! Find new passions! Joeyar56
At last! Someone who understands!
I have always been very active, and in great shape. I enjoyed tennis, hiking, biking, climbing, horseback riding, the gym, anything physical. Then ten years ago I started having unbearable neck and back pain.
I had a fusion surgery on my neck ten years ago. Did not help. Now I am in chronic pain and must rely on strong pain meds which no longer seem to help much. The side effects make me so tired and sleepy, I can barely function. I am little more than a shut in at this point. My drs think it must be nerve pain. They don’t seem to know of anything surgically that will help.
Long story short, I am still sitting around the house. I have gained forty pounds from the meds slowing my metabolism. I hate it!! I can’t stand being in pain and out of shape! This ordeal has really changed who I am! It is so depressing and lonely! My soul longs to be free of this!! I feel like a burden to my family. I just changed from hysingla er to belbuca, but i am only on 75 mg so it has not helped much yet. Oxycodone does not help much anymore either. I don’t know what to do...
I feel your pain! It feels like my life! Constantly in pain and I watch my 8 yr old granddaughter every day and it truly brought so much joy because we would do so many fun things almost every day and now I the minute she leaves I’m In so much pain that at times is so unbearable that sometimes I wish that I don’t wake up in the morning!! It’s not that I’m suicidal because I would never do something like that! And now I’m preparing for yet another spinal surgery!! Waiting through the pain so I can still watch her during the summer so not scheduled until last week in August!
I feel your pain! And the worst part of all is how people just don’t get it! My 8 year old granddaughter is here all the time and I feel so bad watching my husband doing fun activities with her that I just can’t do! When I do some things with her I pay for it later in the evening! I feel so helpless at times but really try not to go there in my mind! People see you doing things so they seem to forget and then don’t see me at night when I’m in excruciating pain! No one knows what true pain is until they experience it! I’ve been dealing with it for 30 years with multiple fusions and I’m only 61!
It's going to take some big money lawsuits to implement any change. In the '70s and '80s it was very difficult to be properly treated for any pain. After a few lawsuits in the '90s is when doctors started to be generous. Better to have too much than too little. Now policies have circled around and are worse. A doctor I interviewed admitted I must be in terrible pain, but told me it was part of life. Refused to prescribe the opioids that gave me back my life. Being active and productive. This is a human rights violation as well as a violation of the doctor's code of ethics.
I totally understand although i am no longer living with family except my son and i am just a burden to him. I am severely depressed and have terrible pain and want it to stop. Im not even allowed to see my grandson. I have nothing that helps me feel better.
Please stop with the shots. Did you know that you are not supposed to have more than 3 shots a year.. Anymore than that can cause more problems. I confronted my Dr. in 2008 after he did 5 injections in 6 months, and they did Nothing for my chronic back pain!! The Dr. said, yes I know... you are right. I told him I have nothing left in my life but to do research!! I told him.. We are done! An I never went back to him.
Yes I feel useless I use to keep my home spotless now I can barely stand for long periods at a time and I can't bend over at all so therefore I can't wash dishes,cook& clean my husband works 12hr day and then he has to come home and cook then loads the dishwasher I'm so afraid that if I don't get better that he is going to get tired of this and leave me because that a wife's job
For a long time I felt that nobody believed me when I said I had pain [my doctor @ the time didn't seem to know how to look for it]. My family treats me like crap because I have problems, my father told me to "get another father" the other day and he keeps swearing at me, I can't help being in pain or being unable to do what I did before my injuries and fibro. it's like they want me out of their lives because I'm not "perfect" like "they are" or "undamaged" like my sister. Since I have Fibromyalgia, sprained knee, pinched nerve, thoracic kyphosis, and a brain injury from a car accident when I was 3 by a drunk driver, they don't want me around because I frustrate them? Why me? Why do they put the mess on me? I didn't cause that accident and I didn't plan on getting fibromyalgia so why be frustrated with the way I am? Nobody cares anyway, I won't talk about anymore.
Stiff Steph... "Stiff" Sounds like a perfect description of how I feel everyday, how I am treated every day, how devastated it feels to have those around you treat you as if you "no longer exist"... or you may as well be dead, you can't interact with "The Family" anymore! Who is the family Steph? Prior to my extremely painful disability I thought my "Family" was the loving members of the beautiful people I had been born into & in turn had gave birth to in this world... to my dismay I sadly learned the exact opposite. My mother (lived right across the street & whom I had for nearly 50 years been the one of her 6 children to "be there" for her" DAILY... & i MEAN BE THERE") yet not once did she cross my door way to check on me, my 4 children & their spouces-same thing...
I was cast aside as if I were a leper, instead of a victim of an accident that caused irreversible & untreatable, it turned out afters years of chasing specialist & spending my life savings (much to just pls my children as the doctors advised me early on) nerve pain & cervical spinal damage is just a fast train to massive pain meds as necks unlike some backs do not respond to surgery... even backs is a luck of the draw & knowing my chances of be paralyzed is 98-100 % most my family thinks I should take the chance! So, I feel your pain, so to speak & please know that you are so worth as much & much much more even then ever before your injury & pain ever began! Just your words of encouragement & telling of your story can make the difference in the life of another person, you may be the one person that clicks with someone out there & gets them thru that one day, that one day they think they can't get thru one more minute, one more second! God made no mistakes when he thought out your life, He has a path for each & everyone of us & I know this with my heart & soul, so please never give up & hold on to the faith that one day our day will be ours again & Hope will bring cures? Relief? Even 10% would make my life better, I'll take what ever God has in store for me! How bout you beautiful stiff friend? Soak in a hot tub & maybe ... just maybe you will say a prayer while you are in there, for both us! I promise I will for you! God Bless & Better Health 2 U... MommaNanc
I care, and I do Understand. Your Family doesn't understand what you are going through and probably never will. We cant change how ppl are and I hate to even suggest this but soemtimes you have to place distance between you and even if its family.. the people who arent helping you be well in life. I did just that. I didnt have support and yes it hurt a lot. But you have to live your life and only you walk in your shoe's. I was moved by your story, because I know all to well that feeling and I felt I had to respond. You may not know me but I do Care and I also feel you need someone who will listen. That is why we are here! add me as a friend and just take things one day at a time, One moment if that is what it takes. You cannot control what has already happened to you but you can control how you live from this day forward. remove the negative ppl in your life and you will be much happier for it. Rest well and be safe.. Snake
Related topics
Similar questions
Search for questions
Still looking for answers? Try searching for what you seek or ask your own question.