I sit here day after day thinking about how strong and usefull I was. I enjoyed designing my yard lanscaping, going towork, and in general being productive. Now that the accumulating mulitiplr pain has taken over my life and made me more of a dreamer than a doer, I feel hopeless and a burden to my family. On disability no money and taking pain meds to get through the day of multiple pains while looking forward to a lower back shot every two months. This started out as low pain got worse and is now running my life for with out injections and meds my quality of life sucks. The only thing i look forward to these days is being with my grandchildren and interacting while having a feeling of childhood. I can let go for a moment then I pick one up and remember oh I had to wake up again to do this all over. Multiple pain takes the spirit out of a guy. The system really is a big let dowm. Any one have simular or same issues. I find I need to talk about things, any one game?
Responses (106)
26 Dec 2009
sounds like my life story. my back surgeries started in 1997 and i went downhill rapidly from there. i am doing much better this days. i tried almost everything out there to dull the pain. then got very addicted to everything i took. went to rehab.that did not work either. to make a long story shorter, 6 yrs ago i got on methadone. my doctor prescribed 10mgs 4x a day. it worked great. i stayed on it for about and year and actually weaned myself down to 10mgs a day only. then being the addicted i am, i upped my dosage again slowly but surely. now i am at 120mgs a day. i have had other things, health wise happen since 2004 that i don't have time to talk about right now, but if your interested, someday i will continue this chat. but you are not alone. there is a whole bunch of us out there who love to talk and visit and share their stories. hang in there. hope to talk to you real soon. happy holidays... kimmie1
26 Dec 2009
All Chronic pain patients have been there including me at the moment. I was luckily able to find a great Anesthesiologist/Pain Specialist close to my home town and after reading my MRI results he was shocked no one was willing to help me. All it takes is the right doctor and the right narcotic. If you would like to chat further I would be more than happy to talk. I'll add you as a friend. Feel free to contact me through a private message. Happy Holidays! By the way. Right now I'm not going to school, I don't have a job, I can't do anything that involves lifting this for my parents. I feel terrible about it but right now all I can to do. Lets get in touch!
Thanks for replying. It is a long dam told many times story. I just replied to Kimmie, so as you can see I am not having a very nice life at this point. I would love to talk more, I can sure use the support system. I am the type who gets happy when helping others talk about bad issues so bring it on.
I would really like to know where and how I can find an Anesthesiologist/Pain Specialist. I have chronic back pain because of a number of different back problems. I'm 75 years old, married 51 years and always very independent. Suddenly about 8 months ago my spine started to fall apart. I'm not on any pain meds... over-the-counter or prescribed NASAIDS (can't seem to tolerate them), nor any narcotics. But I need help with the pain ASAP. I had RFA done in my lower left sacrum three weeks ago and I don't think it did any good although I know my DR. hit the right nerves endings. I'm starting physical therapy next week but I need pain meds badly. Before I go on a narcotic, I would love to see an A/P specialist. Hope you can help me find one. Just point me in the right direction and I'll do the rest. Rita
26 Dec 2009
Ohhhhh Yes, this sounds like my story. Back in 1982 I injured my back. I had to quit work to work in another field because of the heavy lifting. So I got into bookkeeping... Boring... I worked for Bitches.. in a hospital.In the office we had practicing witches. A big boss that was not compassionite. I had to have cyst surgery and he told me if I took more time off I would be fired. I had a bloody cyst ready to explode. He did not want me to have surgery !! In a F... Hospital. I did have surgery. But my aching back. I could not work any more. I was so depressed. It took 6 more years on disability till I started to get life back. But by then I lost my love because of all the drugs doctors had me on. 11 1/2 years he stepped on my heart and walked away.
Thank you for sharing your story. Sounds like i may go through the same fore my wife is so tired of this crap. You lost your love. I may lose mine. Ya see I was doing well job wise, and asked her to work once my younger got done with high school. She never would and now if she did she would have been established for 5 years now and most likely doing well enough to get us by. Disability is a joke and i worked from the day I was 12. They are screwing me 530 per month. They are using the workers comp calculations and know it is wrong. They are pissed because a judge ordered my disability, so now they are messing with me. My lawyer is working on it. $530 more per month would sure be nice. Any way I feel so bad. It's not like I sit here day afer day crying to my self. I really tr to do physical things but the result (pain) overcomes the movment and I say screw it. Very frustrating wanting to do and know you can't or else. I went to the stores and had to do some walking.
You did apply for social security disability? Do, if you have not.
Also talk to your Doctor about Subutex which is used for pain. Not Suboxone
as this is for people who are hooked on pain meds or any other drug. If you need to ween off of the pain drugs you may need Suboxone first.
BTW: Mine was workers compensation too.
26 Dec 2009
Oh my gosh! You just told my story. I hurt my back but waited too long to go to the doc so couldn't prove it happened on the job. I loved to dance, shoot pool, ride horses,ride my bike, bowl, lift weights, hunt, wrestle,. You name it. I did everything with my sons. They don't really understand but I've learned (from the excruciating pain) that I can't do the physical things I love anymore. It's affected my relationships with my kids & all my personal ones as well. It was also a large contributing factor in my divorce. It's hard for me to drive to the store. I have 6 herniated & bulging discs in my neck & lower back. There are many days I wish I didn't wake up. My grandson is 3 mos. & lots of days I can barely hold him. Years ago I had cancer. I can't believe I came through that & now have to suffer like this. I ended up getting addicted to pain pills & am now on suboxone trying to get clean.
If your doctor feels that it is time you can move to Subutex do it. As Subutex now is generic so it is allot cheaper.Subutex is for pain. I have seen it work.. All I can say is WOW
I see i am not alone. Sorry so many of you are having such terrible issues with your body leading to bad relationships. Ya know in mass we have state insurance if you are not working or have very low income, you can apply and get it. I applied last year and got it so my doctors appointments were covered as well as any meds. This morn I got notice they are taking me off of it. They state at 15,000 per year we are able to maintain. We can not afford health insurance, it is 10,000 per year. It was paying my medicare premium for part D. know my wife will have none not a thing for heath insurance. I will only have extra help and some doctors visit stuff. I only hope this will pay for the back shots. If it does not I feel I will just loose it like screw every thing. I would love to start a non profit thing just for people who get injured can not afford care or meds. I am going to give it some thought on how to put it together. I feel for all of you and hope you can see some happyness in your lives. see ya
27 Dec 2009
jacy53 Hi. Let me you are surely not alone and from your question I have found that I too am not alone. I know it seems that way when we are arould our friends and family becaause they can say the are sym[athetic and really meam it but they really have no idea what physcial, psycholgical and emotional pain is eating us alive. I too get my greatest happiness from my grandchildren. It makes me sad when I can't do everything they want me to do and they don't understand why Mum Mum can't do something but I can usually distract them to something else. I was very active I swam kick boxed did step aroebics and made custom cakes. My injury is to both my wrist 27 surgeries with at least 2 more pending. And RSD/CRPS as a result. And don't forget the anxiety and depression that comes with it. Yes I am game. Let's get started. Call me Barb I am from hiladelphia PA area. Have 2 grandchildren and two more due on1/31/10 and 2/1/10.
Barb, very nice of you to join in, thanks. Man it really is an eye opener when all is going well and wham. You got it quick no warning signs. I think of it like an car accident, bam no time to think about it. Unfortunately I had to sit at my desk for many months with heavy worry. What am I going to do I can not leave this job for a different one I can do this is already easy. Many days of thinking knowing what was going to come down upon me. The day of the EMG the tester told me right out what I would be up against. I could sit here all night talking about the passed and still be in the same place, nowear. The thing that off set the state taking me off heath insur today was my grandaughter came over to open some gits with her little red xmas dress on and a big no worry smile with a big many hugs and kiss's. She is 14 months, just starting to talk, then there is the four month old girl with her little red xmas dress on and hanging on me all day just wanting love and milk.
I am so glad you are getting away. I would love to do thst. My husband and I cruised at lease 3 times a year until my first grand daughter was born. Then if was all about Morgan we baby sit every day and still do but now there are 2 with 2 more on the way. As exciting as it is I am tired it seems like there is never any time for me. Don't get me wrong I don't have either of the girls today and I miss them so much but with 4 surgeries this year and my emotional breakdown I just want to veg for a while but I do feel guilty feeling that way and that takes my restfull time away from me because I am too busy feeling giulty. I create some of my own problems I know. I am so glad you are getting away. My husband is Air Force. He was forced to retire when his base closed in Pennsylvania. So we are both very young retirees.
Where are you from?
Well I will close for now talk to you soon
Barb
27 Dec 2009
YES... I do understand... i was very strong and then fell through a floor..did the splits so to speak... broke my tailbone my back neck all my teeth and jaw.. so a while I couldn't walk... wheelchair and walkers..I didn't think I could live that way... after a few years of pt. I can walk ok..I said I would never complain if I could only walk... but here I am complaining... I just can't do my yard work plant my flowers... stand there for hours and cook..and I loved to cook... so i sit for a bit walk for a bit.. and lay down for a bit... thats now my whole life... and i can't pick up my grandkids either... makes me feel useless... your right it just take the spirit right out of you... how you doing now... any better... they say I won't get any better... but they also said I might not walk again... and I'm walking ok now... so they might just be wrong... I might get better... yea right... I think I'm as better as I'm going to get...
Sorry to hear you got hurt so bad. So are you really walking like around? Do you have to use a cane? I am dealing with it all some how. I feel a wamy will come soon it always dose, some frickin thing or another. I have heard many stories of doctors saying you will never walk or this or that and the spirit, and determination of people prove the doc's wrong to there amazment.
The pain meds just take off the edge. He said that is all they would do. I would think if i could take double what I do it would take the pain away but eventually I would need more, it is the nature of the beast. So I take what he will alow me and go for it. If I did not have pain meds I would loose it seriously go off the deep end. I have a good doctor that works with me. He is very understanding and willing to work with me on adjusting my strenght. He of course has been my doctor prior to the injury so knows my history and that I do not bull shit him. That is what makes it a great relationship.
Sunnyj2, I was reading old post and ran across yours. Isn't it ironic that we all have the same stories just different endings. Or should I say beginnings. I know what pain meds you said you were on, but if I may ask what strength of methadone are you on? I take methadone, valium and he just put me on a new blood pressure med. My blood pressure has a mind of it's own. Well, I wasn't being nosey but I guess I was. Would love to hear from you. Like I said before, I am a talker and I will talk to anyone about anything. kimmie1
28 Dec 2009
i for one feel very useless i'm waiting on disability i don't think i've every been this poor i've always been in the upper middle class and having to quit work the first of 2009 with no notice has sure taken it's toll on me and my relationship of 37 years. i feel your pain about the shots every other month i got one every month for 4 months then had to wait awhile for the next series now after 7-8 years they don't work so my doc. stopped them. at times i feel like he doesn't believe i'm in as much pain as i carry. missy2
I hear you on the they do not work. The first one I got was the bomb. They use 1 1/2 the normal amount on me because of my pain level. As time and amount of shoots have gone by I feel they get less and less effective. One I got did not do much. I got it and two days latter went on a very bumpy plane ride for 6 + hours and so it really did not have a chance to set in. I mentioned this to him and he wanted to stop them also. I went to another doc. It ends up they know each other and spoke and well so I am back at it with the same doc. Me 27 years married and 5 together prior to that. Man I really wish things could be different.
Ya know what scares me. We are taking all these strong narcotics. Whar happens if we get a terminal illness and there is nothing stronger to give us for that pain because we have already been through most of them. I really freaks me out
29 Dec 2009
Hi jacy53 - I m game I've been going through same thing as you. How long have you been missing out on your life? I do hope that you can find the right combinations of injections, meds, etc., to make you happy again. I have been like this for a long time. I have the chronic low back, neck, & shoulder pain, chronic pancreatitis, a brain tumor. recently had mild heart attack & mini stroke - recovered great & fast - but I keep wondering, "Is that all there is" (song by Mama Cass) I have a really good attitude, (not always) injections 5 times a yr, use celexa or Lexapro for depression, oxycontin or opana ER and vicoprofen or norco for breakthrough I also take I guess that's about as good as it is going to get.
my prayers are with you missy2
Phyl, I haave been dealing with this for four years now. Back, neck, left shoulder, nerve issues in both arms. As u read in the post I am fortunate to have an understandable doc. He hooks me up. I some times feel i do not want to do the meds but have cut back and it is better on the full strength. I get pressure from my wife. I see here these typs of injuries tear people apart I came here in an attempt to help understand why. I see people like u post and I suddenly realize yes I have issues but someone is always worse off. I say hats off to you for having such a positive attitude. I can not even say anything about my self, it just would not be fair to you. I will say that one of the first meds i was on was fentynal. The same thing it would release not enough or to much and then there was nothing left for an entire 24 hrs. I was told by many about the dangers of it so ended up on ms contin.
5 Jan 2010
Dear jacy53: I know exactly how you feel. I too am unemployed due to pain. My husband works 2nd shift so I am alone most of the day and night. He works from 2:30pm to 2:30am. I don't get the house cleaned the way I should. We just moved to TN so I don't know anyone. My son was killed in a drunk driving accident in 1990. He was 20. So I have no children or grandchildren to live for. I too am on meds for degenertive spinal pain and stress related migraines. Do you take anti-depressents or anxiety medication. I am on anti-depressents and it does help some. I also know about the money. My husband does bring in money but it is not enough. I had been on unemployment but my last check is a 1/2 check next Tuesday and then we are really in a mess! What kind of lower back shots due you get every 2 months? What kind of pain meds do you take? Maybe you should ask your Dr for something stronger. I am also on Methadone.
I am so sorry for the loss of your son. I have two daughters and four grandchildren and could not even begin to understand what you are going through. I hope you will not give up the fight of life. Please do not. You have your self to live for. Your son would want only the best for you, that being happy and alive. Well at least you have someone employed. My wife works part time at the YMCA and they just cut her by 6 hours per week. I am so alone with this. She always doubts my injuries are as bad as I show. This is putting such a strain on our relationship. Ya know I just went to the CVS for my pain meds. The store is only 5 miles away. My back is so painful right now from sitting in the car during motion while braking and acceleration. Just that simple and I go in to an acute time. I take ms contin for all my pain issues. It helps alot and i intend to stay with it for now.
5 Jan 2010
wow. i'm not going to bore everyone with my story, except for the parts that might help. (oh, hi, everyone, i just joined the site today!)
i've lived with managable OA since i was 9- in fact i was pretty athletic as a kid, even competitively ice skated (low level). i believe i was 38 when they said the knee needed replacing, but i was too young. but that's only a ding in my problems. darvocet and vioxx helped me through that pretty well.
around my 40th birthday, i started training super hard, i confess, i wanted to try out for survivor! some how a minor back problem turned overnight into screaming pain. the worst thing of all of it was that i had an HMO.
I just have really got lucky to have a primary who hooked me up when I first got injured. He was concerned for my physical and mental well being and wrote me out of work if i wanted it. Then the pain meds he has put me on. Great. I can not understand why you had to go through so much. My workers comp lawyer put up the fight and got me a fair settlement and found a judge to demand SSD give me benefits. Medicare is not a huge bennie but gets e through. They ow me 550.00 per month and he is still fighting for it. Imagine they are screwing me after all the years I paid in to it. The medical and government system blow. You should not have had to go through what you did. Well brave one stay well
This sounds a bit like my story, the doctors and nurses were mean until they did the MRI and then they said, oh we better get her into surgery!
5 Jan 2010
i feel for you . i have had surgery and have a mass on my spine at c4 to c7 have numbnessand loose feeling in my arms and leggs . i need prayer cause i just know im going to end up in a wheel chair . i had someone call my dr and say i was not taking my meds i was giving them to my 14 year old son who happens to be alergic to most pain meds . now my dr may release me i had someone steal some of my meds so i had try make what i had last and it was not enough when the done a blood test to see what i had in my system . they said i had nothing in my system i know what i had taken should hve been ther but my dr is makeingeen able to me take urine test every other week and counting my meds it makes me mad that someone can find your drs name and call and make you get released . but i know it made me look bad not having enough to show up in my system . now i ll be in worse pain with the weather been so cold . i feel for you i love the outside and been able to do what i like to do . pray for me and ill pray for you
Just hang in there. It will get better for you. Do give up and do not think negative even thou it my look blink there will be better days. Like I said before. People that can support you when you're down. Will for some reason flip the script when you are in need of them. It happens all the time. And mostly the good people get hurt. You just keep you faith up and go forth. You will be in my prayers. And you is loved. Bless you.
Hi, I am Rhonda. I have MS 39yrs. I know it is not the same, except nerve damage. I just wanted to say how sorry I am that this has happened to you. Pain management is really easy to get dropped from, they are all running scared. So many of them in Maryland have just quit, or moved to another state to practice. I was released from a doctor I had a 5yr relationship with, because due to my MS I could not pee for a random drug test I drank 60 oz of water, and waited well over an hour, and due to bladder spasms that day I could not pee. I ask for the alternative test, and the woman refused(I do not know why I was not allowed). I had never had a positive drug test ever, but due to the fact that I could not pee, I was released??? I still find that puzzling. I have said a prayer for you and will continue. May your life be blessed mightily
6 Jan 2010
Hi jacy53--- I'm going to give you a view from the other side of the window--- I don't have chronic pain but my wife does and a lot more. The poor thing has been dealing with this for most her life. She tells me all the time,"you don't understand." And she's rite, I don't because I don't live with it like she does--- jacy53, I've done a lot of reading on the supject of her pain management and have learned that management is not just for her but also for me. --Your motivations may be shot down by all the frustrations of dealing with this but it sounds like you still have a lot of spirit--- I've done almost everything I could do to help my wife enjoy life but you know what?, She's the only one how could figure it out--- jacy53, It sounds like you have a gold mine of grand children. "You're so lucky". I don't have any kids and never well unless I adopt. Maybe those kids can teach you how to play games on the internet with them--- Hope you have a very nice day--- Jambanator.
Hey Jambanator. I am so blessed with the grandchildren. I really feel bad when I hear people say they have no children and so no grand. The best thing I ever did was marry my wife and have them. I had been seeing my wife then went to CA. When I came back a friend told me I was a dad. What??? I went to see her and yes there was my little one year old girl. I asked if we could give it a try so she would have her dad and my wife agreed. Well six years later another little girl. Now four grandchildren oh thank God for them, they bring me such joy oh such joy, the one year old was sitting on my lap a few hours ago and just laid down on me and sighed with a hug and petting me. It was a teary moment and my daughter had a big smile on her face. I some time think to my self how screwed up things are for me, but I read everyone else here issues and how can possibly complain about my self. In comparison I am doing fine. However chronic pain wears me down.
Jambanator, wow. All I had to do is read the second line of your post to know you are a wonderful person. NO ONE in my life has ever referred to me as "poor thing"! I have never expected anyone to make my life better but I would've like for someone to have just stuck by me instead of just basically wagging a finger at me and telling me it was my own fault cause it was my choice to marry him. My extremely abusive ex-husband who caused all my spinal injuries. He wasn't abusive till three weeks after we got married. I left him once althought I feared for my life cause he threatened to kill me if I ever left. The shelter was awful. The kids and I had nothing left when we went back home. All our stuff was stolen and there was never any food there to eat and nobody did anything to help anyone out. It was awful. I called my family and none of them offered to help so when I flat out asked for help they told me to call another member of my family. So we went back.
15 Jan 2010
I can completely sympathize about feeling useless. Not only do I feel useless but I feel like a burden on my kids and the rest of my family just about wrote me off since I'm no longer a part of the working community. My spine was injured by my abusive ex-husband. He managed to damage the cervial and lumber spine in one act of violence. I also suffer from PTSD. Which I'm sure is no surprise to anyone. I have had several surgeries but they did not leave me pain-free. I am on 4 different kinds of meds for the pain and I still have so much pain that I can't walk from point A to point B without extreme pain. I was involved in a car accident in September and it has caused me more pain and weakness. The woman who hit me was not paying attention and she walked away. I was rushed to the hospital. She hit me so hard from the rear that it slammed me into the large SUV in front of me. So I was thrown forward and then thrown backwards. My car was crushed.
Ellen, sorry for not repying sooner but computer was on the blink. I am in las vegas untill the 6th of feb seeing my new grandson. I would like to converse with you a bit more but I have a bunch of people around me and need to keep it short. My thoughts are with you and will get back to u when i return home. Please keep the faith.
jacy53, hope you have a great and enjoyable visit with your new grandson! Congratulations also on such a wonderful gift a new baby can be.
Take Care,
Ellen
25 Jan 2010
I know exactly how u feel, i am only 36 years old and have been in pain from one thing or another most my adult life. I used to be so healthy i thought i could do anything, and was up for anything,now however i sit more then doing. There is days i dont even get out of bed, my whole family of 5 kids and a husband spend alot of time in my bed room w me just so i can feel involved. I have had gall bladder, blockage in my legs of 100%, heart, back, hernia ,tubes tired, surgeries. Not to metion the five kids of natural birth. The sad thing is for all but the gall bladder surgery, i had to fight to get a Dr. to help me . I could see and feel something wrong w me but every test they did always came back normal, so they would ship me off in pain and tell me it was all in my head.For my leg surgery, i had pitted adema in my feet and legs so bad i couldnt walk wo my husbands help. The pain was horriable but since i was only 26 years old the Dr. told me i was to young to have blockage.
Brandi I also had to keep on the doctors to look in to my symtoms for an answer. I also made it clear I was not leaving the office untill he agreed to have an emg done on my arms. Once this was done they found all my nerve pain issues. So my advice to u is to be persistant once again and have them persue your symptoms. The same happened with my youngest daughter. She was spiking 105. The doctor said it is just a urinary track. I kept telling him she complained of back pain. Finally they sent us to the hospital. She had a bladder infection as well as urinary. That is only the begining they put in an iv with anti biotics. She complained the site was hurting her but they would not change it out. I my self opened the pump to find the tubing was all corigated and not efficient. She ketp spiking. I finally went to the nurses station to ask for her to be transfered. The doctor happened to be standing there and said no we know what we are doing. I said affter 9 days i begg to differ.
Brandi, You and I have eerily similar stories. Hang in there.
25 Jan 2010
I feel like that all the time but I have to keep in my mind that despite the pain my back causes me all the time I am still walking and can get up and around. My depression is worse when the pain is worse and I know in my heart that I could have it so much worse. I could be paralyzed and not walking. I have to count my blessings all the time. But I feel when I am down and hurting that I am useless as tits on a bull. And I don't like that feeling at all!
I understand. Like me just keep up the hope of a better day and it could get be worse. I focus on family grandchildren manly think of the old saying it is not that life is so short it is that death is so long. Think about it and be greatfull for what you haven't got like not being able to walk or be terminal. Please stay focused on the positive things. This will help u get through it. Thankfully my doctor gives me pain meds to ease the pains. So as the song goes be happy
I'm glad I found this sight it is nice to talk to others who really understand not pretend yet you see only judgement
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Well Kimmie thanks for showing some interest in me. I find things a cit difficult these days. I worked for a company who manufactures water heating equip. I was the technical support manager. I had it good 89 g's per year, car,credit card's,come and go as i wanted, 6 people under me. I must have hert my back doing yard work and or moving there heavy equip. After this all went down I figured it all out how it all took place that is. You see my back was so bad I was resting my elbows on the arms of my office chair. After a few years of this it caused me to get pinched nerves in both that is ulnar nerve, plus carpel tunnel. I was so distressed and in so much pain and taking three 7.5 vicodines a day. I finally through my doc went for emg of uper extrem and mri for back. So here i sit after being told I could not do light duty. Oh we can let you stand and sit but you still must do, do, do, tens years of do and inventing a few things to better product and save big money..
Expand this post...
Threw me to the wolves they did. The test showed carpel tunel, both wrist, cubical tunel both elbows. Very bad pain. Doc said you need to stay out of work. Got the letter. Went to laywer got on workers comp. Afew years went buy and got left elbow ulnar nerve transposition. Doc said it was bad. Flattened out and I would most likely have pain for ever. Had left wrist done. Same thing, flattened with nerve damage. All because the system dragged there feet. So here I am with that nerve issue, three bulging disc in back and neck. Sounds a bit crazy hey? True true true. Now I am on a bunch of meds and still very uncomfortable more than not.
Kimmie I have read back through this and have to say I am sorry you lost your lover. I would not want to go there.
I am curious what state do you live in
Sorry Kimmie it was not u who lost yur lover.
Hi Kimmie1
Drop me a line on my e-mail when you get a chance
Barb
I live in South East Texas. Near Galveston and Lake Conroe... Come bye for a visit... kimmie
Hi Kimmie, I feel for u and understand. I am having such a bad time with my arms. I got cubical tunnel in both. Had left operated on and still very sensitive. The right is so painful, the morphine dose not but only dull the intense pain. I avoid doing physical things knowing the outcome, more pain. I have days when I think screw this all the areas of pain combined makes it so hard to deal with. The I have many has even messed with my sex drive and I have many changes to private to get in to that make even what is supposed to be enjoyable not. I used to love it want it every day even more than once but my partner is not there for me when I feel I can. Ya know an urge comes on i am ready to go and i get rejected. So to top of living with pain i am deprived of sex. Well enough of that. Please stay in touch I enjoy your words of encouragement. Hope my writing u brings a smile to ya
kimmie, I was put on methodone due to pain. I hate it, I hate how it makes me feel, I take it 8 times a day, 10 mg. they as my doctor tells me I could be an addict to be careful, I get in thier face and tell them if I am an addict it is because of you! i NEVER WANTED THIS STUFF. I know I am physical addicted but not emotionaly, I have ran short before and OMG, the physical withdrawls are the worse thing I have ever felt, at one point I was so affraid I might beaddicted to methodone I went and asked for a eval. the Doctor did not know that to do, normally a dr refers you to a eval. I was so tired of being treated as a "seeker" addict, you name it and I am sure I was called it behind my back, in some cases to my face, anyway, I had the eval and was told I was not emotionally addicted but I was physically, no shit, you gave me this awful stuff to save money, did you know that is why it is the popular pain pill? it is the cheapest thing fot drs. to prescribe.
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also were you ever told ( I was not) it is one of the hardest meds to get off of because of the addiction ability it has, it is one of the worst. I was never disclosed any of that info before I was presribed it, I would have never agreed to trying it, as far as I am concerned I was lied to and I am angry, so anyway, that is my short feeling about the stuff.
Well, kimmie, I've got 3 discs in the neck, 2 in the mid, and 1 in the lower back, yep, nodding on the wrists, fingers, elbows, shoulders...
I am on tramadol, gabapentin, diclofenac now. Have been on meds like these for 2 years now. At some time you may experience heightened sensitivies (the meds and narcotics do this to you) and you will feel like having Level 9/10 pain but it's really only 7/8 they'll tell you. Big diff, grins.
I am looking into medicinal mj. Will see if that helps next out.
I wish you luck, and pray for you, and lift you up in spiritual healing Kimmie. Keep pushing for new things, changeups, see what works for you. And know that you may be SSI disabled for the rest of your life. You have to adjust to being injured now of course. Best. be well.
I think a lot of us feel that way. My husband works very hard & when he gets home, he has to do all the things I used to do. I went from only missing 3 of my daughter's ballgames when she was in highschool & now I was only able to go to 1 & ½ games of T-ball & 2 soccer games. It seems like the only place I go is the doctor's office.
it is sad when you are opening Christmas gifts & your 2½ year old granddaughter see a box & said "nea nea's medicine. A couple months ago, my husband was telling her, he had to take me to the doctor & her response was "the doctor again!"
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I wish you all the best. As far as the methadone goes if you need it, take it. I took it for 2 years & tapered down & went off it. I have not found anything that controls my pain as well as it did. My husband wants me to go back on the methadone & not worry about what others say. I felt humiliated when I went to the Cleveland Clinic for stomach issues & I felt like they were thinking she is a heroin addict & I have never taken an illegal drug in my life. Even when I explained all the reasons (chronic pain). They just looked me & it made me feel uncomfortable. That is why I tapered off the methadone. However I have a feeling that I will be going back on it in a couple months.
I just wanted to let you know you are not suffering alone! There are a whole slew of us on here, & many others that aren't. I have many of your problems & more. Been on disability since 1990. Hate not being able to do what I want to & love to do. Now they don't even want me to be walking my dog. The one thing I had left to look forward to each day. All I can say is you just have to learn to accept your limits, & take every day as a new day. Sometimes one day is worse than another, but you will make it. I have & so has my hubby who got disabled at the age of 32. He's 60 now & it's been a terrible row for him too. Hang in there fella, we're here for ya! Know what you mean about those grandkids too. They do pick you up don't they? Ours, all 7 except the 8th are mostly grown tho'. The 8th is 6 and quite the character.
Damn, you make my life sound like a blessing. Sorry to hear the about the lowered labito but totally understand. However, there is another discussion group on how pain effects your life. Check it out
Just a quick comment about medicinal mj. I like to take a few bites of an edible and within an hour, my mind is in a bit of a different space so that I can more easily ignore the pain. I don't believe that it lessens the pain, just makes it easier to cope with it. It improves my sense of humor also (and unfortunately my appetite).
I'm sorry to hear you are suffering so much. I deal with chronic pain on a daily basis as well, I have a very severe case of Crohn's Disease and have a lot of pain in my lower right abdomen. I've tried everything for my pain and also got addicted to narcotic pain killers in the process. I was on Transdermal Fentanyl patches 100 mcg's every 72 hours for over three years and had to be admitted to the hospital for in-patient detox. I was put on Suboxone to prevent withdraw and help me with my pain. It didn't help much and it made my legs and feet swell from water retention so I had to take a diuretic for the swelling. I took myself off of the Suboxone with little problem then slowly but surely went back on the narcotic pain killers. I was taking 40mgs. of Percocet a day and was recently put on 10mgs a day of Methadone along with 4mgs of Dilaudid every 8 hours for breakthrough pain.
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I also started taking 20mgs of Symbalta a day for abdominal nerve pain and mild depression. I am really hoping this regimine helps me because I am at the end of my rope with my chronic pain. My life has been very difficult trying to live with my Crohn's Disease. I was diagnosed with it when I was 15 and am now 35. I never really had a chance to start my life because I've constantly been in the hospital for countless flare-ups and surgeries. I've undergone 21 surgeries for this. My dr.'s can't really do anything more for me surgically so I see a pain management dr for the chronic pain. I know my situation is not the same as yours but I just wanted to let you know that you were not alone! Feel better, hugs, Tygrlilie
You all have no idea what pain is, You want to hear about pain? Try falling 38ft out of a tree and landing on your back across the latter and still get up and mowe the lawn, weed eat, and I take 4 norco's ady with 4 tramadol and muscle relaxersnow if I can do that you can too. Don't believe me I caouldn't make this up if I wanted to,
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Cervical spine x-rays demonstrate a 10 degree left sidebending at C3. There is a 6
degree sidebending with the left first rib and C7 transverse process elevation,
indicative of thoracic outlet compression syndrome. There are anterior osteophytes
if the vertebral bodies of CS, C6, and C7. There is uncovertebral joint hypertrophy
and facet arthropathy at all cervical levels, especially C3, C4, and CS. This explains
his upper extremity paraesthesias and TOCS pain. These symptoms co-exist with
his cervical radiculopathy from the cervical spine.
Thoracic spine x-rays demonstrate a 10 degree left sidebending at T12, a 10 degree
right sidebending at T8 and a 10 degree left sidebending at T4. Multilevel
degenerative disc disease is seen at all thoracic levels, especially at the apex of his
thoracic kyphosis. There is minor anterior lipping and spurring at TS, T6, and T7.
There is osteophytosis noted at T8-9 with a spontaneous fusion occurring on the
right side at that level.
Lumbar spine x-rays demonstrate a 10 degree left sidebending at L4. There is no
pelvic obliquity noted. There is extensive degenerative disc disease, particularly at
L4-S and LS~S1. There are posterior wedge compression deformities noted at the
L4-S and LS-S1 discs, resulting foraminal stenosis at those levels. This explains his
LS and S1 radiculopathy. The transverse processes at LS have formed a
pseudoarthrosis with the top of the sacrum and the medial border of the mac
Impression:
353.0 Thoracic Outlet Syndrome
716.99 Facet Arthropathy
722.51 DDD Thoracic/thoracolumbar
723.3 Cervicobrachial pain
723.4 Radiculopathy-cervical
724.1 Thoracic spine pain
724.2 Lumbosacral pain
724.4 Lumbar/lumbosacral radiculopathy
724.6 Lumbosacral Instability
756.12 Spondylolisthesis
780.50 Disturbed sleep
780.53 Sleep Apnea with Hypersomnia
806.2 Thoracic compression fracture
721.3 DJD Lumbar
722.52 DDD Lumbar.
Kimmie I abused somas,,had to be hospitalized.. Now I have to just watch myself everyday..
Sounds like my life..waiting, waiting for something to change when things only get worse ..I have chrones dx, fibro,pelvic floor tension, pelvic adhesive dx, colostomy bag 13 surgeries on disability and am just getting over a cold so feeling down, my whole body hurts all the time and all I do is pop pills and wait, wait and wait, ice helps a little and good conversations but am finding it hard to fake it lately...
Kimmie you and i sound like we are the same... i swear you sound like me. its sad and it sucks!! do i keep taking the pain meds that i feel like a destroying my life as well as my love life after losing several beautiful realationships because they all thougt i was a drug junkie and they split.. never been an ilegel drug user, the only meds i take are from my pain doctor with out them i can not run my business i built up for 15 yrs but its so so so hard on my back that i broke when i feel off a water tower 3 storys and hit the concrete and broke nearly every bone in my body as well as R.H. , fibro, the list goes on and on but i need to work or i need to sell my business that i love but its just way to hard on my body and i'm still young, i'm a 45yr old guy who looks and acts 25 but my body says diff... lol... oh well i hope your doing ok but i feel ya hun... Mickey from chicago.. Take care my friend.