My pharmacy was out of my off brand of Zoloft for over six days…. I was on 200mg a day… when I was unable to get the sertraline I needed for my regular dose…. I started to feel unwell physically and mentally. I had no energy to do anything I really needed to do: I didn’t even want to get for work in the mornings nor did I want to even make the drive home from work. I felt like I literally wanted to do nothing at all. Even getting up to use the bathroom was a real effort. Also many times during those last few days … say by day 4,5, and 6 I had terrible thoughts of wanting to physically harm or hurt others.. For no other reasons than they were irritating me/ annoying me/ bothering me. These people are my everyday family and coworkers. I am not a violent person which is why these thoughts occurred to me as wrong and upsetting, unsettling so. One of the worst parts of being off the sertraline for more than a day or so was the sweating and not being able to feel comfortable. I got jittery, agitated, and morbidly sad/angry, upset, and more depressed than I would have been on a normal day before I had ever started sertraline/Zoloft.
The absolute worst part of not being able to take the sertraline was the terrible thoughts in my own head. The thoughts of wanting to drive my car into a tree…. The not really caring if I got fired from work because I just didn’t feel like going in or getting out of bed. The not wanting to get out of bed and take care my then one and half year old daughter. Then not caring or having an concern when it was being brought up to me by my husband or older children that I was having issues.
Not caring if I didn’t have the energy to get up, not caring that I hadn’t showered in days or brushed my teeth in days, not caring how upset my family was with me for not acting normal. Not caring that I was wanting to end my life! Not caring that I would be leaving my children alone in this world with their father…( who between you guys and myself… would totally mess them up and damage them)
Not caring a thought in the world about contemplating all the different ways I could end my life!
I even resorted to cutting my leg up which I haven’t done since I was a teenager. I am now 31 years old. I know now how unhealthy it was to again do that as an adult, but at the time I wanted to see blood!
The worst part about not having my sertraline/ Zoloft besides wanting to die, was then it caring about anything.
Please reply back to this detailed message I have typed out for you. I took a lot of time, efforts, and thoughts put into this and I hope you will do the same.
