7 Feb 2010
Yes it can kill you and it kills alot of people. The last time I had a drink I had a vicodin and I almost died - I had about 3 little tiny bottles of white wine and the vicodin was taken in the morning. I literally can't remember anything but trying to crawl to the bedroom and my daughter crying over me with her stethoscope trying to get a heart beat and saying if I ever did this again she was moving out.(she is not co-dependant or an enabler I am happy to say) If I could inflict pain like that on my child then I should have taken more pills and offed myself for good but I went thru the shit for a day or two and I lose sleep on dwelling on the past but You never know what the amount will be that kills you. I am a firm believer in what I was taught. You will not die from lack of sleep but you will die from taking the crap to try to get to sleep. You will get to sleep eventually. I am surprised at all the people who are desperate to get to sleep. We can sleep when we die.
I spent 7 nights totally awake and I am not exaggerating - I was going through withdrawal from fiorinal, ativan, benzos I was just happy to be alive and I expected it. We can't drink and do drugs and expect to sleep through the pain --- that is 'pay-back'. You will be O.K. Sleep comes better when it is not forced. Every drug we take has a rebound - if you take sleep medicine - you will have to have it to sleep. The worst addiction I have if nose spray. I cannot breathe without it. I have stopped every drug and I cannot get off the afrin. My nose slamms shut like there is cement in there and it is a feeling that I just fine intolerable. When I had my hip relplacement I forgot to bring it to the hospital and I just muddled thru the clogged nosse and was off it for 2 yrs and then I got a cold and thought I could use it again and was right back on it - I have gathered my strength and am weening off it. Have filled the bottle with water and am down to one sniff a day. Good luck - count sheep backwards by threes - that works for me.
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