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Share your experiences with telling your significant other
  1. #1
    super_mom is offline Junior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2011

    Default Share your experiences with telling your significant other

    For those of you who even sort of kept your significant other/partner in the dark about this, did there come a time when you had to tell them the dragon you are fighting and how did you do it? I don't mean telling someone you met after getting clean, but telling someone that you are in a relationship with while you were/are in your active addiction who either didn't know or didn't know the full impact of how bad off you are/were.

  2. #2
    Comeback Kid is offline Advanced Member
    Join Date
    May 2011


    My wife and I have joint bank account. So when she saw the money disappearing and my health and attitude changing, she knew what was up. So I didn't have to tell her necessarily. I did have to tell her how bad it had gotten. She has been supportive and I wouldn't be 3 months clean without her. So im thankful she gave me that hard love in the beginning.
    Clean as of 5.29.2014

    "Do you have another day 1 in you?"

  3. #3
    powerless is offline Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2008


    I kept my husband in the dark for almost 5 years of my pain pill addiction. He literally had NO CLUE. I had tried to get clean on several ocassions and went c/t with NO SUCCESS. I finally started researching suboxone about a month ago. I WAS on fire about wanting to get clean, anyhow, anyway... I KNEW that in order for me to get clean I was going to have to come clean with my husband. It was AWFUL, it looked like I literally punched him in the privates. I cried, he cried. We were both on a roller coaster of emotions for 2 days. It was very easy for me to get away with the pill abuse as I own my own buisness and have a seperate checking account. He just thought I wasn't making money, yet he knew I worked my but off.

    The "huge" weight that was suppose to be lifted off my shoulders from telling him didn't come immediately, but almost 2 weeks later it's now here. We talk about EVERYTHING now, he has been so supportful to me. We just celebrated out 10th wedding anniversary this week. I plan to get off the subs soon also and I know that he will be there to pick up the slack when I start tapering and not feeling so well.

    I'm one of the lucky ones I guess you would say as I didn't lose my house, kids, business, or marriage to the GOD AWFUL pill addiction. My whole attitude has changed....

    In order to get better you have to free the demons. I never was able to do it until i finally came to terms with being an addict and wanting HELP. No one is perfect.

  4. #4
    Lam34fus51 is offline Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2012


    I haven't told my wife of a year and half that I take meds daily for my back pain. Now as I run out of meds I don't know what to do - tell her or hide behind the "I have a cold" method as I go threw w/d's?! She knows I hurt and has been with me for MRI's, injections and when I met with the surgeon before my insurance got cancelled - but she doesn't know that I need Meds daily to function - not really sure why I haven't told her?!?! But now I'm not sure what to do as I start going through w/d's - no insurance no money for meds!!!!

  5. #5
    shawn156 is offline Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2012


    The first time,Aug 2011,I told my g/f I was getting off the meds.I didn't hide it then. Oct 2011,I started using again.I denied it at first but came clean about it.She wasn't happy,she knew what I went through the last time.Then again in Feb 2012 I started getting way out of control 4 months after taking them again.I had to put a stop to it.I tried in Feb to stop without any success,I was back on in 4 days.At the end of the same month,I seen my Dr and told him no more,I can't do this anymore.I asked for a weaker opiate to get on and then taper from there.He wasn't fully on board with me,wanted me to continue with Norco and Tylenol 3 added. I told him that wasn't what I wanted so he agreed to only the T3's.I seen him last week and he was shocked I was off the T3 so fast.7 weeks after getting them I was able to stop Norco and use T3 then quit.
    My g/f wasn't to happy about me doing this but after I was off and clean,she seen the change in me and stuck with me. We got into one argument last week and she thought it was because of the pills.I had to remind her I stopped the week prior and haven't had any pain meds. I think she finally figured it out,we haven't argued since and everything has been going good. No way I am going back to the evil ass pills.It took my life and spun me out of control way to many times.

    Lam34fus51: Stick with the "I got a cold" thing.Yo say you have low back pain,it could very well be made worse with the pain meds.I was having bad pains in my back and I no longer have them since I quit.

  6. #6
    cantletitgo is offline New Member
    Join Date
    May 2012


    as i read your post i feel for you all i am the wife on addict we have been together for 10 years and i love him dearly he is not in recovery at this time he is an active addict i pray everyday that he will get there we have 2 beautiful little girls that need him sober. i see the pain he goes through and the mental struggle is heartbreaking but i also feel the pain and frustration of living with an addict everyday i think you should be honest with your spouse completely honest the hardest thing for me is when my husband looks me in the face and lies if your spouse cares for you he or she will understand and support you (not enable but support) and if he or she doesnt tehn that is their right addiction affects us all and is a life long struggle im sure you know and by the way if your spouses know you at all they will know something is not right they may not know what but they know something is wrong just be honest

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