| || |
Fiance' has an addiction
Fiance' has an addiction
So i have recently realized how bad his addcition was. We have been together for about 17 months now and have a beautiful baby boy he is 2 weeks old.
I knew going into the relationship that he had problems in the past but he said he had been clean for awhile..I trusted my gut which was telling me hey this guy is sweet and funny aqnd seems to really care about you... this past feburary we found out I was pregnant.. He had a relapse with some xanax and decided to go for counseling... which I found out later was actually him getting a hook up for methadone.. anywho lets bring you up to the point I am at now.. Our son which is a combined total of four kids.. (two from my previous relationship one from his and our son) well he was born three weeks to early he ended up in the nicu forabout five days which was so painful...well he had a follow up appointment this past tuesday.. Everything was okay.. I got my oldest son up and off to school and then I got myself ready and then my second oldest... by that point I was getting lil bit ready and he arrived to get us for the appointment.. he was a little out of it but it being so early in the morning i just passed it off as him being tired no big deal right?? We got to the doctor got signed in and all and finally got called to see the doc..well he needed to use the bathroom so I was okay with that.. I took the other two back to see the doc.. He was missing for 45 minutes though... he came back as we finished up.. Well he was even more off.. I asked if he was okay and he said yeah just stressed... We tarted driving and not even five mins down the road he was driving down the middle of the road.. we ended up getting in a car accident..He decided to go get a 24 oz beer while our 10 day old son was at the doc.. I found out later he had taken two Oxy 40's before coming to get us and also that he has been lying for 7 months now about all the opiates and xanax he has been using... 7 months I just don't understand.. I am so mad and angry and ill... I am still getting over the delivery and surgery and lil bit being in Nicu now I am also getting over the accident.. the kids thank Goodness are okay I was the only one hurt in the accident.. I feel like I want to hurt him.. But at the same time I love him.. I just I dont know what to do right now and I will take any advice out there really..
One side of me starts to feel sympathy for the guy and maybe he is acting up and leaning on the drugs because of the new child and life complexities etc...
But honestly, that's not a good thought. Fact is, you have a lot of responsibilty taking care of all these kids. Both of you share this responsibilty. Being reckless on the raod with your family in the car is no joke. Youshould get all your facts lined up, legal facts. Explain to him what his responsibilty will be should you leave, the consequences if he fails to meet them.
Give him an ultimatum and tell exactly what you need and expect from him as a father and in the relationship overall. Hopefully you have support from the other Father and you are not so dependent that you feel trapped - he has to know you have options.
Take care of those kids and fix up this situation before something tragic happens!