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Just Venting... Don't know what to do
  1. #1
    Anonymous Guest

    Default Just Venting... Don't know what to do

    I am 30 years old. I am married with 2 children, one 13 from a previous marriage, and the other 7 months old. My husband is an addict. Prescription pain pills are his poison, or any pill that will produce a high like feeling. I have seen him eat patches, snort ADHD meds, etc… I myself have never taken drugs or been around anyone that does. It makes me extremely uncomfortable when he tries to drive while under the influence. His eyes will shut and he will swear he is fine while almost driving off the road. I do not like this behavior being around our children, or myself. Because of finances we live with my parents. My parents are aware of the problem due to my husband’s violent mood swings. From being way up top to just flat out being angry! When we are out of money, which is often he calls his sister to get him drugs. He flat out lies and will deny to the death that he is not doing anything wrong. His mother keeps him “well” when we visit them, or he leaves for weeks at a time to be with them. She has an addition herself and does not like to see him go through withdrawal. He is really attached to his parents and will not hesitate to leave us to go be with them at any given time. My husband was employed but recently lost his job because he stole money. That job within itself was a cesspool of addiction almost all the employees were addicted to drugs. I would come to pick my husband up from work and have to wait up to an hour and half for their dealer to come before he could leave. When we first started dating I was not aware that this was a big of problem. I thought at most it was like a recreational thing and could be stopped at anytime. He even told me he had stopped taking drugs because he wanted us to have a better life. So I thought OK simple as that, I can live the perfect life, with the most caring kind hearted man alive. Oh boy was I wrong.  It was not until we moved in with each other that I realized how bad things were. At that point I had just found out I was pregnant. I didn't know his excitement on such things was chemically induced. That was the first time I realized that he cannot function in life without drugs. It was the day after we got married, and he lay in bed and did not move. I asked him repeatedly what is wrong. He would say nothing a little more and more agitated, till finally he just screamed at me to leave him alone. I remember being so hurt. It hurts me to my core that will I am in labor my husband is trying to get drugs so he can enjoy the moment. He was successful because of his mother and sister, and was high at the delivery of our child. Am I wrong for feeling offended by this? Since the baby has been born he is very wishy-washy about her. If he is not high he doesn’t want anything to do with her. He snaps at the 13 year old for no reason at all. When he is high he talks about what a great father he is, and how I should think so too. One time I got the baby to sleep and she stirred and cried he picked her up and acted like he wanted to choke her. I freaked out and told him to never ever make that motion towards my child; she does not know you are going through withdrawal. He instantly got angry and told me he didn’t know what I was talking about, and he’ll do it again. I cannot leave the baby with him since. I don’t trust him. I left her with him to use the bathroom and she always screams the hurt cry!! I hate it; I cannot even trust my own husband with our child. Also, when he did work he would never ever get paid. Any money he had would go to help his sister and her kids, and his habit. I do love my husband. He is amazing when he is high.  I just want him to stop using. I don’t think I can do it anymore. I always put on the brave face and don’t cry. It eats me up inside, I am all alone. The only thing my husband can see is his pain. He always makes me seem insensitive to his plight because I am fed up. When he lies I don’t sweep it under the rug, I call him out. I don’t really know why I wrote all of this… I guess is it me that makes this situation worse, I don’t know… his relationship with his family bothers me as well. He is always worried about his sister… all I get is we are a tight knit family. Well my family and I our too, and I am not concerned about their relationships. Frustrated!!!!!!!

  2. #2
    LLCBOS is offline New Member
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    I want to say so much...I'm on my way home & then Ill go into more detail.


    Whatever you do, do NOT allow the kids to be alone with him. Ever.

    Saying this with love but: Personally, I think you need to remove them from this situation....like yesterday & ban him from your parents home. He has proven he is dangerous. I don't care if he's in withdrawal or not nor how great he is "when he is high". That's not the kids' problem. They need safety & protection. Right now.

    Ill be back in a few to add to this...this infuriates me for you & your children.

  3. #3
    Iluv2smile is offline Platinum Member
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    Run as far as you can..
    Kick him out ..
    You live with your parents ..
    They are your parents..
    If something happens to either of your children you are not only going to feel so terrible but legally you will be held responsible..

    It is hard enough dealing with a spouse who is an addict
    But a whole family of them?
    Impossible..
    Their addiction including your husband has nothing to do with you ..
    What he will do or not do is done without any forethought of you or his child..

    Please try to get some help from Alanon or Naranon.
    For yourself!
    It is support for people who love or are in a relationship with an addict..
    Whether it be brother , mother , spouse whatever?
    These are people that have gone through this type of hello.

    You cannot make him stop..
    His daughter cannot make him stop ..
    It sounds like his mother and sister
    Don't want him to stop..
    They can justify each other's using ..

    Get out while you still have some semblance of sanity..
    We will help you as much as possible..
    But your energy needs to be focused on you !

    I will check back later

    There is a great thread on here called called addiction part 2 .
    For people in similar situations..

    Take care
    Iluv2
    Last edited by Anonymous; 03-27-2015 at 09:52 AM.

  4. #4
    Melina123 is offline Senior Member
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    Oh my I feel so bad for you. I agree with the responses above 100%. You MUST get him away from those kids. I worked in a large hospital for many years. Shaken baby sydrome is very devastating for the victim. In a few minutes your husband can ruin that babys life forever. Not to mention your13 yo as both of you will probably go to jail. If you are living with your parents, then tell them he is a threat to the baby and you want him out. Then tell him to leave or you will call the cops. That sounds mean I guess but who is the one you need to protect here? That BABY. And of course your other child. This is maybe not the answer you wanted here. Maybe you thought we could tell you how to fix him. Sadly there is no way to do that. Only he can do that, and its alot of work and a process. He is in the depths of addiction.Please...save yourself and your children. You can find support here, but your situation is such that I recommend face to face support. You can go to meetings in your community and find other people in the exact same situation. They will help you. Its called Al anon and Nar Anon. You can google meeting locations and times.
    In all the time Ive been here I have not felt that any situation was more volitile and dangerous to children than this. I hope you will not turn away and decide to fix it yourself. Please.....help your children and yourself.
    Im Mel and I have a thread on here. You can read the first entry and see that I did alot of stupid and bad stuff while on drugs. I am not making up my recommendations. Please hear me! Take care, Mel

  5. #5
    Melina123 is offline Senior Member
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    Here you go...read this for yourself. Please do not let this be your sweet baby!

    Shaken baby syndrome is a type of inflicted traumatic brain injury that happens when a baby is violently shaken. A baby has weak neck muscles and a large, heavy head. Shaking makes the fragile brain bounce back and forth inside the skull and causes bruising, swelling, and bleeding, which can lead to permanent, severe brain damage or death. The characteristic injuries of shaken baby syndrome are subdural hemorrhages (bleeding in the brain), retinal hemorrhages (bleeding in the retina), damage to the spinal cord and neck, and fractures of the ribs and bones. These injuries may not be immediately noticeable. Symptoms of shaken baby syndrome include extreme irritability, lethargy, poor feeding, breathing problems, convulsions, vomiting, and pale or bluish skin. Shaken baby injuries usually occur in children younger than 2 years old, but may be seen in children up to the age of 5.

  6. #6
    sweetnessJJ is offline Member
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    I am going to second what everyone else has said...leave immediately. Any threat to your children is not to be taken lightly.

    A lot of what you have said resonates with me- I have an addict husband who is now 43 days clean of all drugs and alcohol. He was taking upwards of 20 Vicodin a day and then got himself addicted to methadone trying to wean himself off the Vics. He was high at the birth of our child. I did not trust him alone with our son. However, he was always eager to be involved and help, and never in a million years would he show violence towards our son or myself. If he did, I would have left in a heartbeat.

    Your husband needs detox, rehab, and recovery. He will not do any of those things unless he wants to. You can't convince him to do it. And I have to say, right now, it does not sound like he is anywhere near wanting to do those things. I thought for a long time that my husband wanted me and the baby to leave so he could just keep using and do whatever he wanted. When I finally bucked up and said I'm leaving unless you get help- then I will support you- he felt ready.

    It sounds to me like you do some enabling...why should you have to wait for an hour and a half at his job so he can get his pills??? Let him get his own damn ride home. I would encourage you to seek out meetings through Al-Anon and Nar-Anon. Through meetings, this forum, and other online venues, I got the strength to set boundaries. It has saved my sanity.

    Most immediately though, get out of a shared physical space with him. Go to your parents or another famiy members. Any tendency towards violence could end terribly. Love and prayers to you!
    Iwantoff2013, LLCBOS and Melina123 like this.

  7. #7
    sweetnessJJ is offline Member
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    I misread- if he is with you at your parents, ask him to leave. When he inevitably refuses...CALL THE COPS!

    Also, write down anything and everything he says and does. You may need info handy at any given time.

  8. #8
    LLCBOS is offline New Member
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    Been thinking about this thread all day...I am so worried for your children...you as well of course...but they are kids.

    The 13 yr old must be scared to death. This could have devastating life-long effects, you must take extreme action to protect them. Talk to your parents TODAY! Are they putting up with this too? They are watching him have violent outbursts in their home? NO ONE should have to live with his drama & turmoil. I'm 40 & I feel anxious just thinking about it.

    Please let us know how you are...we can help.
    Last edited by Anonymous; 03-27-2015 at 12:56 PM.

  9. #9
    Melina123 is offline Senior Member
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    This is for the original poster...
    I think we scared u off and we didnt mean to. We reacted strongly becoz a baby is in the situation. I am an addict and i know that drugs will really mess ur mind all kinda up. We dont know who u r, wo there is.NO WAY we can report him or anything like that. I just hope u can understand that ur husband is not himself right now. He may stay like this always. No matter whether u ever respond to us...Im asking u as one Mom to another, please put ur baby first. Dont wait until something happens to "wish it was different". Sometimes one small window of.time can change everything, and it will never be the same. Ill be praying for u. Mel

  10. #10
    LLCBOS is offline New Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Melina123 View Post
    This is for the original poster...
    I think we scared u off and we didnt mean to. We reacted strongly becoz a baby is in the situation. I am an addict and i know that drugs will really mess ur mind all kinda up. We dont know who u r, wo there is.NO WAY we can report him or anything like that. I just hope u can understand that ur husband is not himself right now. He may stay like this always. No matter whether u ever respond to us...Im asking u as one Mom to another, please put ur baby first. Dont wait until something happens to "wish it was different". Sometimes one small window of.time can change everything, and it will never be the same. Ill be praying for u. Mel
    OMG yes! I couldn't agree more, Mel. I am very concerned.

    I hope we didn't scare her off but I truly hope she understands the seriousness of this...
    Iluv2smile likes this.

  11. #11
    jnnfrigray is offline New Member
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    I am really sorry to stir such concern. My husband has never laid a hand on the kids or myself. Like I stated he is always around my family, we live with my parents. I DO NOT leave the baby alone with him though. I feel like it is a damn shame that I have to be like that, but I will not put my children in harms way. The 13 year old adores him, I do not like the fact that he uses drugs. She does not know he does but she can see he is different when he snaps at her for dumb stuff. Like stomping up the steps. I don't want her to know that he has a problem. I don't want her to think it is ok. What I mean by violent temper is he becomes very abrupt, and abrasive to talk to. I don't care much for it because he is a very easy going guy. Not understanding the depths of withdrawal I can never wrap my mind around how you can be happy go lucky to being overly tired and downright pissed off cause there is no drugs. My husbands way of coping is to want to be left alone. It's just not something that is achievable for him. So he'll sit on the couch and read drug forums, and how to get high with natural remedies. I get angry because it controls such a big portion of our lives. I want to be able to enjoy my marriage without him needing to get well before he wants to engage with us. I understand it's an illness. He says he wants it to change hates being this person. He will go 1-2 weeks the most if he can't get his hands on anything be past the physical and put himself right back in the same boat. I appreciate the concern, I really do.
    Last edited by Anonymous; 03-28-2015 at 11:52 PM. Reason: Error

  12. #12
    Melina123 is offline Senior Member
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    The.first post raised many red flags for me. I understand deial, and being afraid. Please go back and read what u wrote. If even half of it is true, your kids are in danger. i hope you can bring yourself to put them first. Still praying. Please think on this. An addict with comtrol issues in the house is like a loaded gun on a coffee table. God bless.
    LLCBOS likes this.

  13. #13
    Melina123 is offline Senior Member
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    This post really got to me. Its hard to realize a baby is in the house with this going on. I understand that u r afraid and i also know how strong denial can be. The first post clearly states the baby makes a hurt cry when left alone with the dad. I know I cant do anything and that only the mom can but shes afraid. Still....Im hoping u can find the courage. We will be here to help u ...just wish i could do more. Mel
    LLCBOS and Iluv2smile like this.

  14. #14
    LLCBOS is offline New Member
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    Please, find the courage to face the truth. We are here to support you. Please, before its too late...

    BOLD is mine.


    Quote Originally Posted by Anonymous View Post
    It makes me extremely uncomfortable when he tries to drive while under the influence. His eyes will shut and he will swear he is fine while almost driving off the road.
    Major danger to you, the kids & everyone on the planet.

    I do not like this behavior being around our children, or myself. Because of finances we live with my parents.
    He is not a good husband, if at 30, you are both living with your parents & his bad behavior is another example of not being a good father/husband.

    My parents are aware of the problem due to my husband’s violent mood swings. From being way up top to just flat out being angry! When we are out of money, which is often he calls his sister to get him drugs.
    He is not an easy going, laid back guy/good husband if he has VIOLENT mood swings & is leaving you & the kids to go get drugs.

    He flat out lies and will deny to the death that he is not doing anything wrong. His mother keeps him “well” when we visit them, or he leaves for weeks at a time to be with them. She has an addition herself and does not like to see him go through withdrawal. He is really attached to his parents and will not hesitate to leave us to go be with them at any given time.
    Again, abandoning you & the children= not a good husband/father. He is "really attached" to the drugs his parents provide.

    My husband was employed but recently lost his job because he stole money. That job within itself was a cesspool of addiction almost all the employees were addicted to drugs. I would come to pick my husband up from work and have to wait up to an hour and half for their dealer to come before he could leave.
    Stealing $, losing jobs & making you wait for his dealer (while you have children at your parent's house that are not providing for because he is blowing all the money on drugs) is not a easy going, good husband.

    When we first started dating I was not aware that this was a big of problem. I thought at most it was like a recreational thing and could be stopped at anytime. He even told me he had stopped taking drugs because he wanted us to have a better life. So I thought OK simple as that, I can live the perfect life, with the most caring kind hearted man alive. Oh boy was I wrong.  It was not until we moved in with each other that I realized how bad things were. At that point I had just found out I was pregnant. I didn't know his excitement on such things was chemically induced. That was the first time I realized that he cannot function in life without drugs. It was the day after we got married, and he lay in bed and did not move. I asked him repeatedly what is wrong. He would say nothing a little more and more agitated, till finally he just screamed at me to leave him alone. I remember being so hurt. It hurts me to my core that will I am in labor my husband is trying to get drugs so he can enjoy the moment. He was successful because of his mother and sister, and was high at the delivery of our child.

    [B]A kind hearted family man does none of these things. [B]

    Am I wrong for feeling offended by this? Absolutely not. I would be enraged.

    Since the baby has been born he is very wishy-washy about her. If he is not high he doesn’t want anything to do with her. He snaps at the 13 year old for no reason at all. When he is high he talks about what a great father he is, and how I should think so too.

    Is that what you want for your children? A wishy-washy, sometimes "dad" that is dangerous, high, volatile & a poor role model in front of the kids?

    One time I got the baby to sleep and she stirred and cried he picked her up and acted like he wanted to choke her. I freaked out and told him to never ever make that motion towards my child; she does not know you are going through withdrawal. He instantly got angry and told me he didn’t know what I was talking about, and he’ll do it again.

    This would have put an end to ANY of my doubts & a phone call to the police would have been made. Immediately. He picked her up & went to choke her....and said he do it AGAIN!

    I cannot leave the baby with him since. I don’t trust him. I left her with him to use the bathroom and she always screams the hurt cry!! I hate it; I cannot even trust my own husband with our child.

    Sorry but this makes me ill. This cannot continue. I know you are in denial & want the man you thought you married back but this is unacceptable. The "hurt cry" would sever ANY sympathy I had for him.

    Also, when he did work he would never ever get paid. Any money he had would go to help his sister and her kids, and his habit. I do love my husband. He is amazing when he is high.  I just want him to stop using. I don’t think I can do it anymore. I always put on the brave face and don’t cry. It eats me up inside, I am all alone. The only thing my husband can see is his pain. He always makes me seem insensitive to his plight because I am fed up. When he lies I don’t sweep it under the rug, I call him out. I don’t really know why I wrote all of this… I guess is it me that makes this situation worse, I don’t know… his relationship with his family bothers me as well. He is always worried about his sister… all I get is we are a tight knit family. Well my family and I our too, and I am not concerned about their relationships. Frustrated!!!!!!!
    Please, I beg of you. They are NOT a tight knit family. They are his dealers! He is an addict & nothing you can say or do will change that....those kids need you NOW. The 13 yr old knows...kids are smart. This needs to be fixed before its too late. I'm worried that the damage has already begun...No excuses for him. I feel for you, I do but it's time to save those kids & yourself...before it's too late.

    Quote Originally Posted by Melina123 View Post
    This post really got to me. Its hard to realize a baby is in the house with this going on. I understand that u r afraid and i also know how strong denial can be. The first post clearly states the baby makes a hurt cry when left alone with the dad. I know I cant do anything and that only the mom can but shes afraid. Still....Im hoping u can find the courage. We will be here to help u ...just wish i could do more. Mel
    I 100% agree, Mel...it has stayed with me too. I am sick over this...sending the OP strength.
    Iwantoff2013 likes this.

  15. #15
    LLCBOS is offline New Member
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    I meant to add:

    You are worth more than this...you are worth more than chasing this man around, putting up with this lifestyle. I know it's disappointing & devastating that he isn't all you thought he'd be but until he decides to change, until he gets help & gets sober your life & the lives of your children will continue to spin out of control. Take your power back.

    He may have his good moments that you are clinging to but it's not just you in this...your young kids deserve safety & stability. Please think about it.

  16. #16
    Melina123 is offline Senior Member
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    Its agonizing. But I worked in a hospital for.two decades. I saw moms allow their daughters to be.sexually abused and blamed the kids. I just wish >> never have read this thread. Nothing we can do. Its up to the mom. I just hope and pray this baby isnt hurt or worse before one of the adults in that house wakes up and realizes its not.about the marriage. Im out...thanks for trying to help
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  17. #17
    jnnfrigray is offline New Member
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    You are seriously offending me. I do not need to be woken up. I have allowed you to talk down to me since the beginning of the thread. My children are in a very safe stable environment. I cannot explain every dynamic of my life to you via a drug forum. The chocking motion made(not done) to the AIR, was done while child was in my arms. It was the kind you do when you reach max frustration. I would never allow my children to be hurt in anyway for anyone's sake. If I felt like they were in any form of danger he would be gone. I was venting, of course I am not going to discuss the 100,000 other GOOD THINGS I HAVE GOING ON, I appreciate your concern. I went back and even explained myself. The baby is in perfect health, and is extremely loved and taken care of. I MYSELF, MOM, DAD have never done drugs or drank. I work a professional job, and I am a responsible adult. Have a blessed day rest assured my children are fine.

  18. #18
    Almost-Free is offline Member
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    Please don't be offended by the extreme concern shown by the posters here. The posters here are either recovering addicts or people who have suffered through watching their loved ones go through addiction. So many of them have experienced the horrors of addiction and are speaking out of real life experience.

    I am an addict (8 days clean). You would never know by looking at me. None of my friends or family know, only my hubby. We are incredibly adapt at lying, hiding, cheating and stealing...until we make the moves to get clean. We have all seen things we will never get out of our heads. And we have all done things we will never forgive ourselves for.

    It truly only takes a second for something to happen, whether by accident or on purpose. The posters here are only reacting to YOUR information and are concerned about you. Please think about what they have said.

    Thinking about you.
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  19. #19
    Melina123 is offline Senior Member
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    One time I got the baby to sleep and she stirred and cried he picked her up and acted like he wanted to choke her.

    The chocking motion made(not done) to the AIR, was done while child was in my arms


    I copied the bolded portions directly from YOUR posting...Doesn't match....
    I couldn't care less if you are offended lady. Im worried about your CHILD. Either way, you do realize that if something happens to that baby, someone in your house is responsible right? Instead of being OFFENDED, it would be nice if you sat down and thought about whats going on. A baby cannot protect herself. I know I sound mean, but honestly, do you care more about what strangers think on a forum than an innocent child that has an addict father who is showing out in this manner? If you were going to defend him, why in this world did you come tell us, so that we have to worry about a baby we cannot protect?
    LLCBOS and Almost-Free like this.

  20. #20
    jnnfrigray is offline New Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Melina123 View Post
    One time I got the baby to sleep and she stirred and cried he picked her up and acted like he wanted to choke her.

    The chocking motion made(not done) to the AIR, was done while child was in my arms


    I copied the bolded portions directly from YOUR posting...Doesn't match....
    I couldn't care less if you are offended lady. Im worried about your CHILD. Either way, you do realize that if something happens to that baby, someone in your house is responsible right? Instead of being OFFENDED, it would be nice if you sat down and thought about whats going on. A baby cannot protect herself. I know I sound mean, but honestly, do you care more about what strangers think on a forum than an innocent child that has an addict father who is showing out in this manner? If you were going to defend him, why in this world did you come tell us, so that we have to worry about a baby we cannot protect?
    I freaked out and told him to never ever make that motion towards my child; she does not know you are going through withdrawal.

    It does match!!! I again, am fully aware that my baby is not able to protect herself!!!!!!! I came here to vent, and to better understand withdrawal. I am not defending him. I am defending myself, and the fact I am not putting my child in harms way for the sake of my own feelings. I again understand you're concerned. I keep telling you what is actually happening, and you keep telling me I am wrong. I think I have a better grasp as to what is going on in my own home. I apologized for my wording being a little off and explained the situation again, and again. You believe I am denial, which I am not. I will not allow you to act like I am an incompetent, moron, because I do not agree with you that my child is in danger. I left it alone and let you say your peace, and you keep making comments about how I need to wake up. I am fully awake!!

  21. #21
    LLCBOS is offline New Member
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    What decent parent would make a choking motion towards, around, near, next door to their own child? High, not high, addict, non addict, in withdrawal or not? That's insane. And the 13 year old is exposed to his drugged behavior as well as the ups & downs of his addiction?

    YOU even said the baby made a "hurt cry" when left alone with him...sorry, leaving him alone with her to allow that to happen? Nope. I'm out.

    I wish you well. Good luck.
    Last edited by Anonymous; 03-30-2015 at 11:49 AM.
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  22. #22
    iloerose is offline Platinum Member
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    JNN: I'm going to lay something out here that hasn't been laid out yet. We're addicts here: we know the cycle: get high and withdraw into our own comfy worlds, bottom line the DRUG IS more important. Does he care about you? Of course. The addiction simply is much stronger than the love we have for you: WE LIE, WE MANIPULATE, WE WILL DO ANYTHING TO FOOL YOU. There are a few threads here I'd like you to read: Carmen's posts (can't remember here exact name) and some posts that were placed on Staysober10's thread. NO ONE IS TRYING TO CRUCIFY YOU HERE JUST JOLT SOME AWARENESS INTO YOU.

    As far as weather or not your children should be with an addict: NO. Do you think for one minute that that 13 year old doesn't have a clue? Kids know stuff we don't know they know. As far as your baby goes, you've already said he can't be trusted in your original post or "rant" as you say. This whole situation is a potential disaster: YOU CANNOT LOVE HIM CLEAN. That doesn't work: HE HAS TO WANT TO BE CLEAN MORE THAN HE WANTS YOU, THE KIDS, MORE THAN HE WANTS ANYTHING IN HIS LIFE. Addiction kills EVERYTHING.

    You NEED to get your stories straight: he's bad/ he's not that bad. Girl, I'm an addict, he is that bad and may not even realize it: would you hand your baby to someone visibly drunk? Get yourself to Naranon or alanon and start learning about the addict in your life. FOR GOD'S SAKE READ THESE THREADS AND BELIEVE WHAT YOU READ.

    I wish you nothing but the best, get some education, believe what we say because WE KNOW. Do not enable him by modifying your first post because you though about it and said to yourself: "it's really not that bad".

    Peace,

    Iloerose
    LLCBOS likes this.

  23. #23
    anonmom15 is offline Member
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    Feb 2015
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    I just wanted to say that I am an addict I have 3 beautiful kids. I am currently 2 days clean and free....
    As an addict I would never admit this to anyone ever but since it is anonymous, I will tell you that I have met my dealer with all 3 of my kids in my car, that is embarrasing and horrific and one of the many reasons I've chosen to stop living like this. Thank god nothing ever went bad on one of those deals but thinking about it now makes me sick that something awful could have happened I could have lost my kids!! I am turning my life around for me to be here for my kids and be healthy and love them and not ever let a pill control my life again. When you are in withdrawal you WILL do ANYTHING to get more.
    I don't think anyone is being mean to you I truly believe that as addicts we know what could happen and even though you are a stranger, when you mentioned the safety of your children, many people got very concerned.
    Sorry to butt in just wanted to offer my thoughts...
    Take care!
    LLCBOS and iloerose like this.

  24. #24
    LLCBOS is offline New Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2015
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    Quote Originally Posted by anonmom15 View Post
    I just wanted to say that I am an addict I have 3 beautiful kids. I am currently 2 days clean and free....
    As an addict I would never admit this to anyone ever but since it is anonymous, I will tell you that I have met my dealer with all 3 of my kids in my car, that is embarrasing and horrific and one of the many reasons I've chosen to stop living like this. Thank god nothing ever went bad on one of those deals but thinking about it now makes me sick that something awful could have happened I could have lost my kids!! I am turning my life around for me to be here for my kids and be healthy and love them and not ever let a pill control my life again. When you are in withdrawal you WILL do ANYTHING to get more.
    I don't think anyone is being mean to you I truly believe that as addicts we know what could happen and even though you are a stranger, when you mentioned the safety of your children, many people got very concerned.
    Sorry to butt in just wanted to offer my thoughts...
    Take care!
    OT but Congrats on 2 days, anonmom15! WOOT! What an achievement. Thank you for sharing & your honesty...now you can put all that behind you, forgive yourself & move on to great things.

    How are you feeling?

    (Although I have never been an addict, I am in the medical field & deal with those who have ventured down this courageous road. Thought I'd join this board to lend my support if I can...)
    iloerose likes this.

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