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How do you stop when it's always around you
  1. #1
    Relapsing Hailey is offline New Member
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    Default How do you stop when it's always around you

    I'll try to make this brief. This website helped me many years ago getting off oxycontin using Robert's tapering method. It worked great and I had absolutely no problems tapering using Suboxon.

    My issue now is staying off of drugs. Like I am sure many people have. The problem is, I go to a medical center for counselling, and so does my drug dealer. I am constantly running into this person. I've switched groups that I go to but I still run into this person every week. It is unavoidable.

    This person really isn't a bad person at heart. However, he as an RX for a substantial amount of pills, that he really doesn't need and he sells them. I am at a loss here and don't know what to do. The just say no option really doesn't work with me. It's really hard and to be honest, every other week I've been buying a few - 80mg. I am not at the point where I can't stop but I am not young any more and I know this is eventually going to kill me. My body is saying I can't keep doing this, yet I do.

    Anyone have advice on how I can just ignore this person. It's extremely hard. I am extremely upset with myself doing this back and forth, using about 2 - 3 a week and then stopping for about 2 days or so until I see him again and get more.

    Any ideas would be appreciated.

    Wanted to add.... today I will use up the rest of my pill. I'll be good until I see him next week. That's when I cave.
    Last edited by Anonymous; 02-08-2015 at 10:01 AM.

  2. #2
    Trout908 is offline Member
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    Hi, I have the same problem.
    Sitting here crying as I chew a pill after 30 days clean. They are in my home ( parents I care for).. Husband doesn't understand.
    Anyone who knows how to stay clean ( never made it past 30 days) with this issue.. Please help

  3. #3
    Relapsing Hailey is offline New Member
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    Sorry to hear that Steph. It must be hard having them around every day. It sounds to me like your parents need them and your hubby knows. Maybe he could hide them. I know our situation is kind of similar and it's kind of different. I get mine from someone who goes to therapy, like me. Ironic, in a way.

    It is upsetting for me because this person really doesn't need them - I know I am not the only person he sells them to. I can't go to another therapy place and yet I can't continue this roller coaster ride. I was clean for over a year before I started running into this person again.

  4. #4
    TigerLily32 is offline Senior Member
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    Oh Steff I am sorry. Haven't heard from you in a few days and have been wishing you the best after what your hubby did. I'm taking it your parents are still leaving their pills out in the open?
    Make this pill your last one. You can do it, I've read your thread and you have the will power!! The temptation is not fair, how to remedy that is not goin to your parents until you have some really good weeks under your belt.
    There's a new member, functional popper and he got through w/d and detox with literally no problems. Read his posts and do what he did, I wish I would have!!
    I'm cheering you on Steff!!

  5. #5
    Functionalpopper is offline Junior Member
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    I wish I could say something different, but the is no way I could have gotten off these drugs either time I did if it was around.

    I have taken steps to make sure that doesnt happen.

    With my drug dealer, I finally broke down and admitted to him what I wanted and that I needed his help. My dealer is close to me and it sounds like you have at least some relationship with him.

    Try pulling at his heart strings. I also found that I was never able to have this conversation sober, I was craving the pills too much. As we all know, its about two hours after we take a pill that we start hating ourselves.

    So anyways, I got really high and asked him out to lunch, him and his gf. Tugged at the heart strings and told them the truth about everything.

    May be worth a shot
    Relapsing Hailey likes this.

  6. #6
    Relapsing Hailey is offline New Member
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    I really appreciate your reply Functional. I have to run out and do some errands at the moment but want to reply more in detail later. Thank you so much for your advice. It means a lot

  7. #7
    Trout908 is offline Member
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    Default Thanks for the support!

    [QUOTE=TigerLily32;457814]Oh Steff I am sorry. Haven't heard from you in a few days and have been wishing you the best after what your hubby did. I'm taking it your parents are still leaving their pills out in the open?
    Make this pill your last one. You can do it, I've read your thread and you have the will power!! The temptation is not fair, how to remedy that is not goin to your parents until you have some really good weeks under your belt.
    There's a new member, functional popper and he got through w/d and detox with literally no problems. Read his posts and do what he did, I wish I would have!!

    Thank you Tiger and popper! I am going to post an update on my thread so I can be more detailed about whats going on.
    steph

  8. #8
    davepeerson is offline Platinum Member
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    Welcome Relapsing Hailey, Yeah....You Really Need to have a Good Talk with that Friend who sells them to YOU!! You also Have to Take responsibility for Yourself.....Face it....There will ALWAYS be a way to get the BEAST!! But....it would help if You can make it More difficult!! Took me a Long time to tell friends...Doctors....etc!! But....that's what it eventually took....cause I was constantly Relapsing as well.....And it is NOT fun....I went back and forth for Over 5 Years at least!! What a Horrible 5 plus years it was too!! Don't let that be YOU....If You want this BAD enough....Do what YOU know deep down needs to be Done!! I'm sure if you Have a real Heart to Heart with that dealer "friend"....He/she....will understand....if Not....They Really aren't a Friend at all....I mean seriously....they can find someone else's life to destroy!! I used to sell that Monster....Probably the one single thing that I feel the worst about.....( about Myself )....Looking Back....I could have killed someone...let alone...taking their hard earned money....and making it easier for them to STAY HOOKED!! I have since made amends to those people....The Ones I still Know anyway....Sadly...there is one that is Really struggling....STILL....And I have to live with the fact ....I had something to do with that........I hope and Pray that He will be able to stop someday...?? Anyway....Good Luck to You...Stay Strong My Friend!!
    Relapsing Hailey and iloerose like this.

  9. #9
    Relapsing Hailey is offline New Member
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    Thanks Dave,
    You are correct. There is no one to blame for my addiction other than me. I took the first pill and no one is forcing me to do anything. I am responsible for doing drugs as well as for stopping. I know I need to stop. I am not getting any younger and I can almost hear my body saying WTF are you doing?

    A little background.... I have been going to a mental health facility for depression, I also have anxiety but I don't have to get elaborate here.... I never in my life did oxy's in the past. This 'friend' and I met there. We have similar interests, such as gardening, animals and tropical fish. He offered me one a few times and I always declined - until I didn't. That was a few years ago and I regret ever taking that first pill - like I am sure everyone else here has as well.

    I did Roberts taper and I even switched groups as to not be in the same group as this 'friend', to avoid any temptation. Well, he is now in another group I go to. I also see him at times when we have appointments. Anyway, it's a given I'll see them once a week, sometimes more.

    I am going to try to talk with him - tell him no, no matter what I say. I did it once before and he always caved. PLEASE DON'T THINK FOR ONE MOMENT I BLAME THIS PERSON. IT IS ME AND ME ALONE WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR MY ADDICTION.

    I have backed away from this person and only see them at the group I go to. It's hard.... It also upsets me that I am that weak and I know two other women who are also addicted due to this person.... he also gets SS so not one dime comes out of his pocket for these pills.

    Reading your comment has helped, dave. I am seeing things from a different perspective. I really need to get my act together here, I have a lot to live for. It just feels good being able to talk to some people. My hubby doesn't know and the ironic thing,,, I really love the doctor and therapist that I see now, but I can't mention a word to either of them.

    Thanks again

  10. #10
    Trout908 is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Relapsing Hailey View Post
    Sorry to hear that Steph. It must be hard having them around every day. It sounds to me like your parents need them and your hubby knows. Maybe he could hide them. I know our situation is kind of similar and it's kind of different. I get mine from someone who goes to therapy, like me. Ironic, in a way.

    It is upsetting for me because this person really doesn't need them - I know I am not the only person he sells them to. I can't go to another therapy place and yet I can't continue this roller coaster ride. I was clean for over a year before I started running into this person again.
    Quote Originally Posted by Relapsing Hailey View Post
    Thanks Dave,
    You are correct. There is no one to blame for my addiction other than me. I took the first pill and no one is forcing me to do anything. I am responsible for doing drugs as well as for stopping. I know I need to stop. I am not getting any younger and I can almost hear my body saying WTF are you doing?

    A little background.... I have been going to a mental health facility for depression, I also have anxiety but I don't have to get elaborate here.... I never in my life did oxy's in the past. This 'friend' and I met there. We have similar interests, such as gardening, animals and tropical fish. He offered me one a few times and I always declined - until I didn't. That was a few years ago and I regret ever taking that first pill - like I am sure everyone else here has as well.

    I did Roberts taper and I even switched groups as to not be in the same group as this 'friend', to avoid any temptation. Well, he is now in another group I go to. I also see him at times when we have appointments. Anyway, it's a given I'll see them once a week, sometimes more.

    I am going to try to talk with him - tell him no, no matter what I say. I did it once before and he always caved. PLEASE DON'T THINK FOR ONE MOMENT I BLAME THIS PERSON. IT IS ME AND ME ALONE WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR MY ADDICTION.

    I have backed away from this person and only see them at the group I go to. It's hard.... It also upsets me that I am that weak and I know two other women who are also addicted due to this person.... he also gets SS so not one dime comes out of his pocket for these pills.

    Reading your comment has helped, dave. I am seeing things from a different perspective. I really need to get my act together here, I have a lot to live for. It just feels good being able to talk to some people. My hubby doesn't know and the ironic thing,,, I really love the doctor and therapist that I see now, but I can't mention a word to either of them.

    Thanks again
    how you doing?

  11. #11
    Melina123 is offline Senior Member
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    hi Hailey. I understand how it is. Seems i was always saying this is the Last Time. Bargaining with addiction doesnt work. Ultimately you are right, we have to just say no. Maybe next time you see him and are tempted, you can do what Popped siggested. Tell him that you are struggling. If nothing else it might make him stay away. Also if you have a good dr and therapist it.would help you alot to be honest with them. Lying comes so easy to addicts as it is necessary to lie to kyeep using. Something i was told in the hospital by my addiction dr was that opiates are a depressant. They keep you depressed in addition to all the other things they do. I did notice in hindsight that the more pills I did the worse I. felt which in turn caused me to want to use more. Its a very cyclical pattern. Once you stay off them a while you can see more clearly. Keep it up you can beat the beast! Mel

  12. #12
    davepeerson is offline Platinum Member
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    How are You Hailey?? Stay Strong girl!!

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