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im 24 been addicted to pain meds since i was 17 started out with vicodin 2-3 tabs at a time then on to the morphine and patches and whatever else i could find, i have legitement pain and i want to start some methadone treatment but im scared to tell anyone and i dont wanna go to detox i think i can tell my doctor but what if he wants to stop seeing me cause hes mad that hes been giving me vicodin and percocets for three years and i never told him about my addiction???? someone help me!!!!!
You would be better off looking into buprenorphene as methadone is way out of your league.Go to www.suboxone.com and there you will find a doctor locator.Get a list of doctors in your area and start phoning for an appointment.Good luck to you.....Dave
Yes, they won't use Methadone for an addiction like yours, it is only used for major addicts who were in severe addiction and taking very large amounts of substances to abuse them.
My information is not guaranteed correct. I do not get them right all the time, but I do enjoy the hunt~
thanks zippysgoddess and mpvt but what kind of addiction do i have? i am now up to 80 mg of oxycontin 3-5 times a day and its killing my cash flow and me i can feel it inside i have no feelings just to get high i hate it and ive tried suboxone for like a month i bought it off the streets and no results ??????????
You could try the methadone route but read up on it and be aware of what your getting into.Also getting suboxone off the street isn't a real good idea.Suboxone has to be taking alone with no other opiate in your system otherwise you will be in withdrawls.Also you need to go to the doctors everyday for the first few days so that they can adjust your dose.Suboxone (buprenorphene) is an agonist-antiagonist drug so it has a cieling of around 32mgs(I think,it might be up to 36mgs) once you go past that then you go into withdrawls.So thats why I don't reccomend taking it without a prescription as it's not like taking morphine or oxycodone.
Methadone is a whole different ballgame as it is much stronger then anythink a doctor can prescribe except maybe fentynal.Methadone works best for people that have been addict heavily for years and years.They have tried detox,rehab,cold turkey you name it.These people do well on methadone because they are able to handle it.When you see someone one methadone that's nodding and all they do is sit around and eat junk food all day then that what methadone will do if you can't handle it.So read up on it because it's usually a lifelong decision unless you can find a clinic that will do a methadone detox for you.You would be put on a dose and they would start lowering it everyday until your weaned off.It can be successful but you would have to try it and see.Good luck to you and let us know what your doing and how your doing.......Dave
Many people also end up on Methadone on a life long maintenance dose, that is another reason they hate to use it for a mild addiction like yours. You say you are taking 80mgs a day, most people who use Methadone to get off were taking a thousand or more mgs a day, sometimes several times a day.
My information is not guaranteed correct. I do not get them right all the time, but I do enjoy the hunt~
well i took your advice and got on the suboxone im feeling great and have no urge to do >>>>>> or anything like that i was pretty bad guys worse than i made it out to be but me and my doctor had a long talk and he said that he has more success with suboxone than methadone and hes glad i came to him with my problem anyways im doing good light withdrawl symptoms and thank you for your advice
That's great news,'m glad you decided on the buprenorphene.It is having a major impact on addiction patients as you can now see why.If you need anything we are here.Good luck and hang in there.....Dave
I would like to say this and please dont critisize me because I am telling you from my mothers experiance so I know that it is possible, I understand that she has an addiction and you say they wont use methadone for an addiction like hers, but she wants something for pain control for long term use and methadone is an option for that, I dont believe that suboxone is for pain control, but methadone is...my mother needed something for long term pain control and she had been on vicodin for 7 years for pain, her dr expected her to be addicted to them and they prescribed her 30 milligrams of methadone per day for pain, it is possible for her to recieve methadone for her addiction as well as her pain, just talk to your dr about it...
mpvt ~ Im curious, and no I don't want to go down this route, Im two weeks into my cold turkey withdrawal and doing very well!
But, methadone, doesn't the body develop a tolerance to it? Just like any other pain med? If not, then why is it so hard to come off it?
Im just curious, not looking to judge as I know how hard it is for all of us.
Despite my saying Im doing well I had a really tough day today due to some bad news, and wanted to turn to pills to feel better.
I went swimming instead, and invited a friend over this evening to keep my mind off it.
Methadone has a very long half life (24-36 hrs).It also effects the mu receptors the most,these are the receptors that make you feel euphoria and pain relief.This is a couple of the reasons why it's so addictive.Because of the shape of the methadone molecule (it is much bigger than >>>>>> or morphine) it's able to sit on the receptors longer making it difficult to gain a tolerance to it.Methadone although it acts like an opiate is chemically different then opiates.Scientist aren't even sure totally why it does what it does.Methadone is also one of the most researched drugs in history....Dave
Hey Dave, how do you know so much about methadone? Tell me more, your replys ares so interesting!! I am on methadone, 63 milligrams per day, I dont know a whole lot about the science of the drug, you seem to know alot, your on it as well arent you? so I am doing good on 63mg a day, they want to increase me but I told them I didnt want to go up yet, see as my pregnancy progresses the baby takes more so they want to increase your dose, I think they are going to up me next week by 5 mg... so its true then that it takes a long time for your body to build up a tolerance to it then? I know when I was taking the vicodin my body built up a tolerance so quick that eventually 20-25 pills a day didnt do anything, I havent noticed that with the methadone though, hey, you may know what exactly is the difference between methadone and methadose?
There is no difference between methadone and methadose.I am very lucky to have a doctor who took a personel intrest in my addiction.So together we have learned alot about methadone although chemistry is not my forte so I don't know alot about that part.Methadone is a very misunderstood drug.I have a big problem with people who take hydro's for a year and think they need methadone,methadone should be used as a last attempt because it's going to be with you likely for the rest of your life.I also see alot of people with little or no addiction get on methadone and then let the goverment pay for it while they abuse cocaine,benzo's and/or alchohol.Patient like yourself who are pregnant should stay on a stable dose of methadone until after the birth.I would tell your doctor that your stable and you don't want an increase and that you will let them know when you need an increase.The other drug that I advocate for actually way more than methadone is buprenorphene.This agonist-antagonist drug is helping so many people it's amazing.We have it approved here in Canada but it has yet to make it to the pharmacies.Buprenorphene isn't much use top long term or high dose methadone patients but it's tailor made for the hydro-percocet addict or a light addict.Heavy long term addicts likely won't benifit from it but it's doing wonders for the above that I stated.Have a good day and take care of that tummy mommy.....Dave
Thank you Dave I sure will take good care of him, I am due August 13th, But according to my last menstrual cycle, I am due July 28th, I dont think the drs are on the button with my due date, they are going by my first ultrasound that I had and not my period, I have been measuring 2 weeks farther along than what they say I am though so what does that tell you? I know I am going to have him around the end of July, I wont make it into august, I know my body too well, besides I am already dialted to 4 and my cervix id starting to eface, this is my third child so they tend to come quicker and the labor tends to be shorter, I was right on around the time I would have my other kids too, the drs said I was 2 weeks early which wasnt a big deal because I was considered full term but I knew around the time I was going to have them and I was right with both of them...I am 31 weeks along right now, theres 40 weeks in a pregnancy, I am measuring at 33 weeks though so its very well possible that I am 33 weeks, according to my last period I am, so I was thinking, and If I had both my girls at 38 weeks along, its possible I could give birth to him at 38 weeks as well, so there is a big possibility that I could be giving birth 5 weeks from now!!! I cant wait, I am sooo sick of being pregnant, out of the past 4 years I have been pregnant 3 of them!! I am so glad this is going to be over with soon, I am having my tubes tied after I have him to ensure that I dont get pregnant anymore, It was a mutual desicion between my boyfriend and I, I wish I could call him my husband, we own our home, we have 3 kids together, and we have been together for 5 years, I wish he would ask e to marry him one of these days, I love him so much and I would much rather refer to him as my husband, I get the crazyest looks from old friends I meet up with and like my ob drs and what not when I say my "boyfriend" anyhow man oh man I could blab on forever, ok anyhow Dave, what I wanted to ask you is why it is you think that if you get on methadone that its a possibility you will be on it for the rest of your life? I know the clinic that I am going to right now offers 2 years of methadone treatment after you give birth, I know myself all too well and I know if it is offered to me for 2 years than I will take advantage of it, I dont want to take the chance of getting off from it too soon and end up using and as strange as this sounds, the methadone makes me feel normal, It gets rid of my depression, it gives me energy to do things that normal people do every day, I wouldnt be able to do these things If I werent on it, and my boyfriend and I have never gotten along better in our entire relationship, I think he likes me better because I seem more like a normal person on it, I notice I have my sense of humor back, I like do do things more with him, its just weird becusae I hear from so many people that methadone makes them feel like a zombie, is that tru with you or anyone else you know that is on it? becuase I dont feel like a xzombie at all I feel wonderful!!
Does that make me sound like an addict or a terrible preson that I know if I had the option to remain on this drug for the rest of my life that I would? In a sad way I am hoping I come down with some kind of a medical condition so that I have to stay on it the rest of my life, I know there isnt a "condition" that you can get that requires it or anything but its the only medicine that I have ever been able to take that makes me feel as good as I do both pysically and mentally, is that awful of me? I would do anything to remain on it as it has made my life seem so much more better!!
what do you think?
mptv - thanks for your response.
No, it's not something I would want to try, but these are just curious questions.
What about the long term effects of this stuff?
Im not sure if my respiratory/circulatory problems I've been having of late are a result of all the toxins I was taking or not (morphine, acetaminophen with codeine in sickening doses), a good friend who's in the industry told me my central nervous system was shutting down. Thus the increasing difficulty for me to manage my outdoor activities despite my level of fitness (Im very active).
Sweetchik, you say things like "methadone makes me feel so much better, it takes away my depression, etc etc..... " I think for reasons such like are what ends you up dealing with this stuff for life.
I guess it comes to a point where you decide to live with it or without it.
For me, Im struggling like hell to live without opiates. Yes my back hurts, but I have enery now, I get euphoria from stupid simple things right now, and Im taking an interest in getting my life back together again... although most people wouldn't know I ever had a problem.
Classic overachiever, that's why. Most people get dizzy when I tell them what I accomplish in a day.
Morphine used to make it that much more pleasant.
It makes you feel normal because you don't make enough endorphins for onr thing.Methadone is not a short term drug and should never be used for acute pain episodes.I never suggest methadone to anyone unless they are one: a chronic pain sufferer and will be for life and two: they have tried most or all the pain killers out there and have tolerance problems leading to massive abuse.That's why methadone is usually for life and that's why when someone is thinking of going on it they need to research it because it is not like takeing morphine or dilaudid.I take 330mgs a day down from 400mgs a couple of months ago and if I decided tomorrow to detox it would take me probably a minimum 3 years to get off it and then I would probably start taking morphine or >>>>>>.I have been addicted for 25 years now and my brain is not the same as a normal opiate free person.I have physically and chemically changed my brain forever and because of that I'm going to have to take methadone because I can't take enough morphine legally to feel normal.....Dave
thanks for your honest perspective on this mpvt....
I feel incredibly lucky to have gotten out early. 14 days clean today....!!
Your experience just sounds downright scarey to me - and I wish the best for you, and Im sure your honesty will inspire others to not go down the same road.
My doc gets back from vacation next week, Im going to talk to him, I need a solution for my pain, but not the fog of dilaudids.
Perhaps in this week I'll find the strength to just live with the pain, although when Im backpacking, carrying a 40lbs pack on my back isn't fun when my back goes into spasm.
Mostly I control it with, well painkillers up until two weeks ago, and swimming, which helps tremendously, but once in a while I end up walking all crooked, not being able to stand up straight.
Surgery will do nothing, it's soft tissue damage from years of lifting my late hubby (quadriplegic) in and out of bed.
I have no regrets, wonderful marriage, but I think Ive paid my dues.
Not looking for sympathy, just telling my story
outdrivr, I am so sorry to hear that!! and dont take it the wrong way I am sure the last thing you want is for people to feel sorry for you, but it is sad to hear!! I could only imagine and then every time your in pain it must make you think of him thats got to be horrific!! So you detoxed? did you go to rehab or something or you did it on your own at home for 14 days? either way, congradulations, your an inspiration to many I am sure of that!! Its so nice to hear sucess storys, it reminds people that there is still hope out there!! anyhow, keep us posted on how you are doing and if you have the urge to use, call someone or pop on here to talk, I will give you my telephone number just in case, I dont normally do suck a thing but for people like who who may need it in the event of an emergency where you really need to talk to someone I will do that!! I dont feel comfortable posting it on here so give me your email address and I will email it to you...okay? keep up the good work sweetie I am soooo incredibly proud of you!!
And dave, I am sorry to hear that your stuck with it for life but in a way its a good thing that there is something out there for you to take for life, It would be horrible if they didnt have such a drug as methadone for people like you, you would end up killing yourself overdosing on another drug just to get by..so why are you on such a high dose if you dont mind my asking? Did they start you off at that? well I see you were at 400 milligrams which to me is more than I take in a week, so its seems incredibly high to me, are you eventually going to build up a tolerance to that amount? I mean if you are going to be on it for life thats a long freakin time buddy!!whats going to happen if the dose your on starts to not work for you? Is your body even physiclly able to handle anything more than 400 mgs?? thats so much!! I know that you need it and I am not critisizing you or anything I really a, just curious, I have heard of people overdosing on 100 milligrams, I know your body is used to that dose and that wouldnt happen but will you eventually be at more of a dose? and another question if you dont mind my asking, where do you get your methadone from? you live in canada right? I dont know if things are different there or not but here you can only get methadone from a dr if you are taking it for pain, apparently its illegal for a dr to prescribe it to you for the maitaince program, what are you on? are you on the program where you go to a clinic daily or does your dr prescribe them to you? thats got to be expensive!! I dont know how I am going to pay for mine after the babys born, I am on medicaid right now but I only qualify becuase i am pregnant, I think they are going to cancel it after I have the baby and if thats the case I dont know how I will afford to go to the clinic, I know its well over 100$ a week and not only that but I have to drive there once a week and its a 3 hour drive one way, It costs me 40$ a week in gas to get there, I spend about 75$ a week on gas as it is and i am not even working right now, I am on government assistance and they only give me 489$ a month, most of that is gone in gas money!! Imagine when I start working how much gas I will use!! I just know if they take my insurance away that I will no longer have the finances to be on the methadone program, maybe I could get lucky and find a dr to prescribe them to me, I do have chronic back pain, I have to have back surgery to have a cyst that I was born with removed, that should illiminate most of my back pain, anyhow I have to get going I will talk with you more about it later, my ol man is getting angry with me for being on the computer, he said what are you writing all your druggie friends??? He is such a jerk sometimes, I am so nice to him and kiss his butt constantly just for him to get along with me and he still has no respect for me its getting really old really quick I cant put up with this treatment much longer, but hes basiclly supporting me right now, I couldn't affoeds my own place being on assistance, I think once I start working again after the babys born and I get back on my feet I am going to secretly save money on the side and leave him eventually when the timing is right...well gotta go hes complaining more...nice talking with you
Outdrvr: Your welcome and anytime you want to ask about methadone or opiate addiction go ahead and ask that's why I come here......Dave
I was addicted for 22 years before I started methadone.I have had 4 back surgeries and 5 rt knee surgeries in my 43 years.My mom and dad are\were (my mom is gone) cross addicts (booze and pills) and my doctor thinks this is one reason why I was able to take the massive amounts of opiates with out O.Ding,I was very lucky too.I also never mixed my pills or drank booze when I was full of pills, so that helped too.I started out in the 70's taking propoxyphene (642's also known in the states as darvocet) which gave me a euphoric buzz.I was shy by nature and not all that sure of myself and these pills gave me (or so I thought) the strength and gull to get up and speak in front of a crowd or allow me to keep a job because I would become depressed and bored with jobs and quit.So for the next 3-4 years I took 642's or codiene or sometimes percocet (oxycodone).In the early 80's my lower back and rt leg began to act up and by 1981 I could barely walk.The doctors think I got the herniated disc from playing years of rough hockey,who knows.So in 81 I had a surgery to repair the l4-5 disc.I was given demerol after the surgery and this became my DOC for 12 years or so.I took the demerol everyday and stayed relitively healthy for 5 years until I blew my rt knee out.After surgery on that (the 4th) my back began to give me real troubles again.The surgeon found a major anterior herniation in L4-5 and I went in for a microdiscotomy.I awoke from that operation in the worst pain I have ever had and it didn't get much beter when the incision became infected.After 3 months of terrible pain the surgeon looked at new cat scans and decided he needed to go back in and take out more disc and remove scar tissue that was causing alot of trouble. These 2 sugeries were in Nov 86 and Feb 87 and they were deemed a failure.So back to taking 500mgs of demerol every 3 hrs.I had been sent to a pain clinic a few times and this was what they told my doctor to give me as I told them it was helping me (addiction makes a liar out of all of us).So from 87 to early 91 I stayed out of the OR and just took my demerol.I was still having problems with my back as I would get these episodes were I would be down and out for a week with terrible muscle spasms and back and leg pain.When this would happen my doctor would switch me to diluadid which I ate as fast as I could because it would give me a bit of a buzz as I hadn't been able to get a buzz after the first 5 years due to tolerance.In Feb of 91 I went in for what was and I hope will be my last operation.The surgeon I had was very good and he performed a fusion and lamenectomy(sp),he also remove more scar tissue.He also discovered I was suffering from spinal stenosis and arcnilytis(I definately spelled that wrong,it means nerves are unaturally bundled together).Again for the 3rd time I became infected,my dad rushed me the 50 miles back to the hospital were they took me into surgery and open the incision up and drained the posion from my back.They left the incision open and put in a pick line to my heart.This would sent antibiotics to my blood >>>>>> and fight off the infection which it did.So the infection left alot of fibrosis (scar tissue) which didn't help matters.So after about a year I was healed up pretty good and taking my demerol.I got up one morning and took my 500mgs of demerol and about an hour later I had a siezure on my front lawn.I woke up in the hospital and realized what had happened.Apperently demerol can become toxic after years of use\abuse and I had a siezure from it.You I was such an idiot that I was sneaking my demerol while I was in emerg.So after I finished off that prescription it was time to switch to something else because I was scared of demerol now.I tried oxycontin for about a year and found it didn't matter how much I took it just didn't work.finally I got on morphine after going agian to the pain clinic.I stayed on morphine at 3000mgs a day until aug of 2002.I had started to buy methadone off the street when I couldn't get morphine or diluadid.I couldn't buy enough of it but I could tell that it would work well if I could get a proper dose.So in Aug 2002 I started at a addiction clinic on methadone.I was treated like a strait addict which wasn't just the case.I had a far deeper tolerance then all the addicts that I ever came across but this clinic was like a steam line in one door get your prescription and out another door.I was still using morphine everyday because they wouldn't put me up fast enough.5mgs a week was what they would raise my dose if I was lucky.I was getting frustrtated and starting to think this stuff is shet and I might as well go back to strait morphine.About this time the doctor at the clinic phoned me and told me he was leaving the clinic and was going to open a private office.I jumped at the request and the very next week he put me up 20mgs.I used morphine until I hit 250mgs and then it was as if a switch was click off in my brain.I no longer craved any illict drugs.Noww I had to get my pain under control and that's why I went to 400mgs.I stayed at 400 until a few months ago when my doctor and I felt that my receptors had healed enough that I could probably come down a bit and we were right.330mgs seems to be about the lowest I can go without the pain taking over.I have never nodded on methadone or fallin asleep while driving.People that experience this probably need to come down alot or shouldn't be on methadone at all.Methadone is the strongest opiate most addicts\pain patient will come across except for the Fentanyl family which is the strongest to my knowledge.So that's most of my story squeezed dowwn so that you don't get to bored with it.I'm no writer so I hope I was able to get my points across.I am pro methadone but I also have problems with far to many people being on it that really shouldn't be which is why I don't advocate for the methadone forums,I do participate in them though because I think I can bre of some help to some people.Have a good day everyone.....Dave
P.S. I did have a 5th rt knee surgery in 89 and since then I have been virtually pain free in that knee....Dave
mptv - thankyou for sharing your story, I couldn't imagine going through what you have.
Again I feel lucky that I was only taking maximum 32mgs of dilaudid per day, even that made me too drowsy to have the willpower to do anything, which is what was getting me down.
But the OTC codeine I think was causing me problems, I was eating handfuls of the things to try and get the buzz off the 8mg of codeine phosphate they put in each pill, along with however much acetaminophen (of which I didn't care, but I know it's hard on the liver in such high doses).
Also, if I went on a week long backpacking trip I'd have to make sure I had enough pills with me. And no one wants to go through withdrawal without being close to civilisation.
Now my concern is if my back goes into spasm while im away, I'll just have to see how it behaves.
Sweetchik - thats a really nice offer! You can contact me through my profile I think, my email should be in there. For obvious reasons I want to remain as anonymous as possible, so reluctant to post my email here.. And no, you should never post your phone number publicy!!
It's bad enough my friends tried to 'fix' me when my hubby passed on, without knowing I had a problem with dilaudids, I know they care about me, but sometimes a person just needs to get through things (especially grieving), without being told to "get on with it", or "get more exercise or find fun things to do"... at times that can be a reminder that you're not doing as well as people expect of you.
People tell me Im really strong, and sometimes I just don't want to be, I'd like to curl into a ball and have someone tell me it's gonna be ok - the pills kinda did that for me as they'd numb everything, best of all pain.
I have told 3 people, and only one of them knows the full extent of my problem.
I wouldn't call me a success story yet, I still want them (without the fog), but Im afraid my tolerance will go right back up again, and I do not want to go through detox again. Yes I quit cold turkey, at home, I really don't have anyone to look after my daugther, and besides the aches and pains, and sleepless nights I could tolerate it.
I had a lousy night last night, no idea why, today is day 15, so it certainly wasn't because of any drugs.
Next week Im going to ask for some blood tests, to make sure my body is on track.
I'd love to continue feeling this good, Im looking forward to a most pleasant evening with friends later on today, without feeling the need of a pill to enhance the occasion.
I've really enjoyed swimming this week too, it's so nice to be able to get the heart pumping without feeling like it's going to burst out of my chest - a friend of mine thinks my circulatory system was shutting down, and that as a result my heart was working way too hard. It had nothing to do with my physical conditioning, as I could head up a mountain of 3000ft pretty quick one week, then the next weekend every tiny step was incredibly difficult and my heart would pound like crazy.
I will talk to my doc about that.
Anyhow, I've rambled on, I wish both of you a great day.
Sweetchik don't let your bf get you down, this is a support group, we're not your "druggie friends", that's such a derogatory term!
we all started on these painkillers for legit reasons, and the tolerance buildup that leads to dependence/addiction happens to more people than anyone would know. As you know, it can happen to anyone.
If he saw my life, I somehow doubt he'd call me a druggie. Don't let him get you down.
Thanks, I am tryin my hardest not to let him get to me, its hard though, thanks for your story dave, I am sorry to hear about your unhealthy streak of bad luck I couldnt imagine the pain you have endured!! Either of you guys!! well have a good night, I am going to get going to bed, take care
Hi Outdrvr: I was reading your post and I have some insight for you.You didn't think that after 15 days that your sleep or pains wouldn't be from the drugs.It takes time for your receptors to change back to their original shape so even if you are producing enough endorphines they aren't going to be that effective.This is called PAWS (Post Acute Withdrawl Syndrome) and can last months and sometimes longer depending on what you were using,how much and how long.If you can and I know it's hard with kids go out for a least 2 walks a day,this help stimulate endorphine,dopamine,seritonin ect.Also drink those sport drinks they replace electrolytes and give you that needed energy.Also try and eat lots of fruits and veggies,stay away from the sweets (ice cream,chocolate,chips) at least until you feel 100%.It sounds like alot but really it isn't,throw in a multivit if you can too.Have a good day and way to go on day 16,just think how far you've come in only a couple of weeks.......Dave
thanks for explaining that. I hadn't thought about my receptors having changed shape, and now it makes sense.
Yes, I was on codeine (high doses) for 16 years, then morphine for four, so it's been a while since I've felt natural endorphines.
Monday this week was the worst day for me, I felt sorry for myself having heard the news from my father, plus aches and pains. I decided to go for a swim, well it helped so much I went back the next day, then yesterday evening I went on a big hike with my kid and a bunch of my outdoorsy friends.
Im very active, so it really helps.
I guess Im just a bit impatient at times, since I have so many things I want to do and get on with, well not all at once I have to keep reminding myself.
Im still gonna request some blood tests, I was feeling perpetually tired, no relief from a good nights rest, and that was before withdrawal. It has improved muchly (although I had trouble falling asleep again last night), I've been taking a natural supplement and want to talk about this among other things with my doc.
Back ached like crazy last night, it's better again today.
Time will tell - but I know I don't want to go back to being dependent on those drugs again, couldn't wake up in the morning without reaching for the pill bottle first.... no way to live.
Glad to hear you're doing well in your life, you've been through a lot. Your input is much appreciated, since you have an indepth understanding of what happens to long term opiate use it's nice to have some things explained here
Have a great day!
Hey Dave, I wanted to tell you what was going on but theres no point in me typing it all over again, go to the forum "need to talk" I have a thread there about obtaining rx fraud, read my latest post I went to jail today...they were going to refuse to give me methadone until I spoke with the judge, he let me out on a pr bond, do you realize my unborn child could have dies if they wouldnt have given me my medicine?
the system sucks!
sweetchik - you're in my thoughts.... Im going to send you an email, since I really don't want to spill my guts on my story here, but in hearing my story you might have some inspiration, since I hate hearing this....
"Im a poor excuse for a human being"... or something along those lines you said somewhere that I read this evening...
You're strong, I know, I hate hearing that sometimes from people. Since I really don't want to be always, but you'll find a way to your path through all of this stress.
Hang in there Liz,unfortunetly we do alot of things when we are addictted that normally we wouldn't dream of.Just be honest,stay on your methadone and if you have to pay some due's then so be it.It's much better then the life you had before and remember your not acting that way anymore so once you've taken care of this stuff it's clear sailing.Hang in there everything will work out....Dave
Thanks outdrvr, I would love to hear your story...my email address's are
I havent recieved your email yet but I will be keeping my eyes peeled for it,
and dave, thanks for listening, I know I am not acting that way now but I still fear for whats going to happen, I know I deserve to be punished and I am willing to face that punishment I am just so bothered knowing that I have a babay on the way and I dont want to be taken away from him, I hope if I do get jail time which I am sure I will that the judge will take into consideration everything at hand, maybe hell let me serve my time on the weekends or something, I just dont want to be taken away from my kids, they need me, especially the baby, I am going to be breastfeeding so he can get his medicine through me, I am doing that becuase the drs told me thats whats best for him, I dont wan tto be stuck in jail and leave my boyfirend with 3 kids to take care of all by himself, he will never forgive me for that and I dont know if he can handle it, I know he can handle my older ones but not a newborn, I did everyhting with my girls when they were born, the nightime feedings the baths everything, hes a great dad but I think hes scared when they are that little, he doesnt wan tot hurt them he thinks they will break when they are that little, not only that ubt the fact that they cant speak up and tell him whats wrong or what they want makes it more frustrating for him, I just hope my baby is at least 6 months old before I have to serve any time, anyhow thank you all for your time, I am glad to have people like you to talk to...
thanks so much
I haven't had chance to write it properly yet, it was late last night and now Im suffering the consequences of being on the go all week with not much sleep!
My own stupid fault for staying up.
I will be in touch...
hey outdrvr...how the hek are you? havent heard from you in a few days you alright?
Good morning Liz Ann!
I just seem your post here and that I'd let u know that Outdrlvr- went out of town for the weekend! She said she'll get caught up on all her posts when she gets back! How are u doin yourself Liz Ann? I again want to apologize for our little dispute awhile back! I really do care about ur recovery! Hope all is well and May the Lord Bless You!