I just turned 54 today. I'm alone, no family nearby, no friends. I'm in Washington DC if it matters.

I'm planning to attempt to taper off alcohol with the help of naltrexone. My doctor won't give me the naltrexone until blood work comes back. Having the blood taken December 8.

I've got Borderline Personality Disorder. Have not taken anything in months, decided to start up Prozac and Abilify again, but not especially hopeful they will make any difference.

Just wanting to hear from anyone maybe with a similar mix, to tell me what to look out for, how to best do this.

Doctor wants me to go to a detox clinic, but that won't work.
I just can't be around people. I spent six years in prison, and I got out 16 years ago, and I'm still not really over it. Had a bad time all through school, bullied a lot and no friends, bad grades.
It takes a lot for me to trust. Only insurance is Medicare and Medicaid, so I'd have to go to a fairly crappy clinic with substandard staff. No. No detox for me.

I've got to do this at home on my own. So, looking for tips and tricks to get this accomplished.

I've been drinking daily for 16 years, and lots before prison, too. At this point I can't get drunk, it's just a maintenance drug.

I want to quit because I suddenly have a 30 pound beer belly and none of my pants fit.
My gums are sore all of the time, I barely eat anything, just drink beer.
I'm on Social Security Disability, just spend all day every day in front of the computer.

Because of the BPD, I can't maintain any relationships.

I've been mostly alone a lot of my life, and had a girlfriend last summer, but we broke up quickly after getting together. I've never really minded being alone before, but suddenly I find myself crying for no reason all the time.

The best part of the day is when I lie down to sleep, at least there is hope for good dreams, though I go through long periods when all I get are nightmares.

Wake up at 3 AM every night now, for no reason. Sometimes takes hours to get back to sleep.
Wake up every morning with a horrible back ache.

past few weeks I've been gagging and retching, and all that comes up is clear saliva. Maybe damage from drinking.

I once had a bad cough but no other cold symptoms years ago. I also thought I might have a slight fever. I bought a generic bottle of cough pills, Dextromethorphan. It had a strange and pleasant effect. I sort of felt like I had a blanket wrapped around me, and that all my emotional reactions were slowed down, calmed. It was great, but when I bought this again to help my recent gagging, two things:

1. I was disgusted to find that I had to wait for a clerk to show up and check my ID so I could buy this again. Age restricted item. So then why is it OTC?

2. The feeling did not come back. No blanket, no calming.