My name is Heidi im 32 years old and have been living with chronic pain due to 3 herniated disks,bulging disk and siatic nerve damage.It changes your life i was once an active person waitress/bartender very fit full of energy until i hurt my back.Now im always in pain and on pain meds don't do anything active and its hard to get people to understand who aren't going thru it to most of them think your lieing just to take pills but only if they understood how intense this pain is.It changes you in every way it becomes your life i guess what im trying to say is there anyone out there who feels this way that you don't have anyone to turn to if all the people around you aren't going thru what your going thru?
Heidi, I'm so sorry you've got to deal with all this.
I know what you mean about others not understanding. I had a spinal cord stimulator put in to try and control the pain. it worked for 2 months and now I'm back on pain pills which don't take it away by any means. My doctor is now thinking methadone and just the name scares me a bit.
I also have a disease called gastroparesis which literally is paralyzed stomach. It takes my stomach hours longer than a normal one to empty so I can only eat small amounts at a time, I suffer from constant nausea, and pain. My husband is supportive and all, but it hurts him to see me suffer like this so I sometimes feel as though i have to play it down. I get very few visitors or phone calls from family. I think they don't know what to say or how to react to what we have to deal with.
My "normal" is constant nausea, constant pain, fatigue, etc. I get out very little and usually only when hubby makes me go for groceries with him. I miss going by myself, just walking the mall, or walking the dogs. But when i walk , the pain increases a lot and I end up either doubled over or in tears. Neither something I want to do in front of a bunch of strangers.
Even my pain doc was surprised to learn that I have to use a mobility scooter to do the groceries because it's way too much walking. Hate taking the pain pills as they slow my motility down further and end up with intestinal problems but can't stay off them because I'd like at least half a life!
So yes, I can understand when you fell no one knows how you feel, how you deal daily, why you have the need for the meds. Unless they've been through what you have, there is no way. So big hugs. You're not alone.
Welcome to the wonderful world of chronic pain. If I were you I'd get a copy of my exams and show people when they act ignorant. It sure weeds out the people who aren't really your friends. You can't let yourself feel like a victim of your pain, or you'll be a victim. I've had chronic pain for 60 yrs and its not going to get me down.
Heidi, I well know how you feel. I, too suffer chronic pain and have very little support from even my own family. My husband has absolutely no empathy or sympathy. My kids, at least try to understand but most of my family doesnt understand or thinks that I am lazy or just a big baby. I, too, used to be quite active. It seems like everyone has forgotten that fact-that I used to like to hike, and shop and be doing something. Now, most days I'm lucky to be up at all. I do spend a lot of time reading but I do it to be able to focus on something besides my pain but my family thinks it is a cop out so I can be lazy and read! I have given up trying to make people understand. If I need someone to understand I turn to my friends on here! Only others who suffer from chronic pain can truly understand another person with chronic pain. People who dont have pain just dont understand. Even the ones who try can never know how truly all encompassing it can be.
You have come to a good place to find people who know how you feel. I will "friend" you and if you want to talk privately, you can send me a message and I would be glad to be a friend and a shoulder! Welcome to the family of drugs.com!
Heidi... Like another Reader said... most of us understand what you are saying and probably over half feel the way you do.
I have Double Sciatica from 3 pinched nerves. I live alone in a big old house and try to care for 7 indoor stray cats. It's so difficult. Im 57 and the Majority of my pain started 8 years ago. I often want to just give up... but I know I am needed... even if ONLY by 7 little beating, purring Hearts. They keep me going. Maybe search forSomething that can serve as a "Distraction" from the Chronic pain... somethingThat is enjoyable and can get your mind off of it just if for a few mins here and there until you can eventually lengthen that time. I
understaind how one looses their whole Life and Self to this thing named "PAIN"! There is alot of gradual adjusting that you will slowly go thru. You may have to learn to Live with it. The alternative is a Permanent one, and someone or something needs you... Im sure.
Your in my Prayers
Hi Heidi as you can tell hon, you are not alone. I understand that pain can turn your life upside down. I myself am dealing with some mystery chronic back pain for over a year. Feelin pretty useless, house bound, druggie, and then i feel all sorts of cheesed off that i cannot even be employed at this point! Oh my word talk bout frustrated. I hope you can find the support and understanding you need through this amazing group. I have not been a strong participant here but whenever i get a word of comfort and understanding, i am so thankful and take that next pill! Folks don't always get it but you can't do much bout that. That is why i am so thankful for this site. I hope you can one day feel better and i have you in my thoughts dear.
I'm adding you as a friend so you can send me a PQ. I'm close to your age and have been struggling for 7 years. I'd like to share my experience, where I am now, what has helped and really be there for support. The best thing I did was join this website and found a group of women I correspond with daily, either via email, text, on here or over the phone. These women changed my life as I was so isolated and alone. And if I could give anything back, it would be the support I got. My answer would not post so I figured it would be better to do it via PQ. But you've come to the right place, and will have many people to turn to. When you're up to it send me a PQ titled about the same and we can chat and hope to encourage you you're not alone. Sending healing hugs!
Dear Heidi, I feel for you and all that you suffer with your chronic pain. Everyone here has already quoted most of what I would have said. I'd like to welcome you to the board, and help you realize that you are not alone in chronic pain you are suffering. Medications sometimes are not the answer because they only give you minimal relief for for what you are going through. Chronic pain can be very difficult to live with. many of those above me are giving you some of the best advice that you can receive. Just want you to know that you are not alone and we're here to help whenever you need to talk with someone or just pose a question. You will find many knowledgeable members who can answer a wide variety of different questions. Always remember: the strangest question asked, may bring you the best responses!
I will also friend you so that if you ever want to talk, I would be happy to listen. Take care of yourself and remember, we are all wiliing to help!
heidi, welcome to the DC family! There's so much great information posted here on this site that can help you in many ways. And, as you've also noticed by now, great contributors who volunteer their time & knowledge in order to help others.
The very first statement I want to make is: YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
We sometimes need to be reminded since we can get caught up & trapped in our webs of pain.
heidi, I'm so sorry that you're having to deal with this now. It makes you wonder about life & what it's all about, doesn't it? Or, what did I do (or didn't do) to cause this pain?
At times it can all seem to be so overwhelming. Pain has the ability to wear someone down & make them feel debilitated & broken, almost helpless. heidi, if you're able to find something that you can do that interests you, it might distract you from noticing your pain level. I play some computer games on a website where I've chatted with many people, some of whom are also suffering & in pain. Sad to say, there are many, many people around this world who have pain or health issues.
Please try to focus on yourself rather than listening to what others may say about you. Try to be positive. Stay steadfast. I've myself noticed that in the world right now it seems as if many people want instant gratification. Others want to give you their opinions or thoughts, even though they haven't necessarily experienced what you're going through (sometimes even when you haven't asked them for any help or suggestions. LOL). Perhaps this makes them feel smarter? I don't know. Eventually perhaps, it's possible that those people could actually learn some information concerning subjects that they really don't know anything about. :)
heidi, spend time reading posts here. You might wish to join one of our support groups such as pain, for instance. There's lots of research that can be done. Nowadays, you need to be your own health advocate. Knowledge is power.
Here's a quote for you from an unknown author: "Never give up, Never give in. Onward & upward With strength from within."
May your journey be fruitful & with less pain. All the best!
from Wendy :) "LiverLips"
Welcome to a Great Site where you will Great & caring support. There are so many people on this site that have either felt the way you do. Yes, I am One of them & yes, it is a Very difficult & hard & lonely road sometimes. But as you have Already noticed you Will find the support here to help you through this stage in this Awful Chronic stage & you have received alot of Great Advice already.
I have sent a friend request & would like to have the opportunity to be your friend & help you through this time in your life. So please take a minute to look arty my profile page to learn some more about me.
The other thing I found helpful is if you call some of your local hospitals. See if they have support groups there for Chronic pain. Just going to these groups
(which is usually free) you will find First hand that you are NOT alone. And that the feelings you are having right now... Are the same our Very similar to the others in the group & that you are Not Alone...
Plus they bring in speakers to the meetings that you will find so inspirational & helpful.
And of course you have all of these Awesome people on this Site & we will be here to help you out. So take up the members offer to become friends... If you have any questions on how to accept friend request let me know. But also know that once you accept a friend request you can chat about almost anything "PRIVATELY" & no one can see that info besides you & your friend.
You will find I am a Great listener & a very honest person & I love to share & help people.
Take care of yourself & I am praying you get some relief. Kathy
Hang in there and take care of yourself. Yes, nobody cares until it happens to them. Keep your head up and do the best you can! The pain will never end and you need to care about you and your pain cause nobody else will. I have been treated like crap for 30 years because I hurt. To be honest, I have about 10 years of life left in me if I am lucky. That is when the pain will end.
Welcome to the site, you will find a Huge number of people on this site that feel the same as you.
And most of us also have to deal with family & friends that really DON'T have a clue what us people that have Chronic Pain. Usually because most of us try not to put on a brave face & try & push through our pain & do almost as much as we used to.
Unfortunately WE JUST CAN'T.. And then it makes US THE ONES that have the chronic fatigue feel that sometimes it is just Not worth it...
But your life is Not over.. You need to find the right combination of medications & physical therapy to help us deal with every day life.
You did not mention what types of medication you are on. I have ALOT of nerve pain & various Chronic Pain & Illness. So I wonder if your dr. haas you on Neurontin/ Gabapentin or Lyrica or even Cymbalta. These are the most common medications they try to use with people that have Chronic pain
My other question is to you currently see a Pain Management Dr. now? If not that would be the best Dr. to look at your pain issues & give you the correct medication to help relieve some of your pain.
As far as what your family & friends think then you need to print off some material on your condition or take them with you to a Dr appt..
But no matter what, you have found a GREAT SUPPORT system here on this site. I will also send you a friend request & once you accept it you can ask me a private question under the tab on my profile that says "ask a private question" by doing this your questions will not be put on the general site & only me & you can read.
I have had my Chronic pain issue for about 20+ yrs & have had to deal with people day the same thing to me !
So anything you want to discuss just let me know..
Take care, Kathy
Hi Heidi, So sorry to hear about your chronic pain and the lack of understanding in those around you. I have had chronic 24/7 migraines since having a stroke over 4 years ago. They were mostly severe, but now I do have days when they are better. But I get very frequent injections of 3 different kinds plus take 4 medications daily to treat them plus 2 vitamins to help them. Plus I do physical therapy almost daily to treat them. I never stop trying to find ways to get them under better control, but the doctors think that I will have this problem the rest of my life. On top of the migraines, I have fibromyalgia and my limbs still hurt, especially all night, from my stroke. I can barely do much physically at all, or my migraines go sky high--that is walking to the mailbox or traveling in a car for 2 hours can lead me to the ER. So I have a VERY LIMITED lifestyle.
I rarely go out except to go to medical appts and to go grocery shopping and pick up prescriptions--from 3 different pharmacies since 2 of my meds are specialty items.
At one point I was near suicidal from not being able to do much and with all the pain, so I do understand what you are going through. It's a very difficult life change to go through. Raising my anti-depressant did help the pain a little, but brought me out of the severe depression. I finally had to learn to be grateful for what I can do. I can move, am not paralyzed and am able to talk after my stroke -both of these with great difficulty at first, but less so with time. Also I hate to eat and have difficulty swallowing following my stroke, but do not need a feeding tube to eat. According to my neurologist, I was very fortunate that I am not paralyzed and can talk. And some stroke survivers have ungodly pain that just gets worse with time. When I heard from butterfly about her problems and her wonderful attitude, that did more for me than all the therapy which didn't help at all. Sometimes it helps in the whole scheme of things to realize the pain and disability that you don't have to deal with. And maybe not.
It will take a while for you to adjust to this new way of life. But you will find things that are fulfilling to you and with time, you may find new ways to treat your pain. I sincerely hope so. Realize that something major has happened to you.
As far as the lack of understanding from others, that is just terrible. As I go into detail about all that I have to do to treat my disabilities and pain and what I'm going through, that always shuts down the conversation. Never does anyone make a comment that it's all in my head. Maybe you can try that one. My husband has spent hours each time he has to take me to the ER, when the pain is so bad that all I can do is vomit. Then with the dehydration, I have no choice but to go to the ER. Now, he very often cautions me that I'm doing too much in the day and that I might get a stronger migraine. So he is very understanding. I hope that with time, your people can be more understanding. Lay it on to them about all your suffering. It's good therapy as well --LOL. I am truly sorry for your pain and inactive lifestyle and wish you the very best. Sara
I am new to this site and already I feel like, I am not alone dealing with medications, support from friends and family or lack of, recommendations and help. I am 52 but my pain started when I was 35, I had been misdiagnosed with minimal arthritis, which was really a huge herniated disk. While waiting for surgery for the herniated disk I woke up to legs that were bone with flesh. I could not walk and I was rushed into surgery. Unfortunately I ended up permanently disabled and I too was a very active person. Since I was misdiagnosed I had quit my job as I could not tolerate doing ANYTHING and could not ask for medical leave for minimal arthritis. I am lucky that my husband is very supportive but does not understand I still have the mind of a healthy person that wants to hike, travel, walk without a cane and have fun.
I too have had many times that the closest of friends or family just think I am lazy, far from it. Plus if one more person says to me " I have a bad back too" and I ask them how many surgeries they have had and they look stunned, well of course none. I did some hospice volunteering and found many people feel like you do, they do not want to be known for their illness and they want people to understand they are human with feelings and unless you have what they do then be quiet and offer a smile and kindness.
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