So, I just found this site recently, quite, in fact, and here comes th holiday season - and my lizard brain is that of any addict - the main thing is MORE. I am going to miss my new freinds, tho I would not begrudge them all the family and freinds I don't have around.

I was going to tempt the fates tommorrow on Christmas Day - have an Irish Coffee, d@mn it all! It's been such a hard row lately, why the f@ck not. I am sure one won't hurt... I can handle it... and perhaps I'm not an addict. And even if I become enthralled again - who is there to care? Jimmy's dead, Michael is dead... I say again - why the f@ck not!

Who is there to care if I'm in me cups?

And that brought me to my senses. Because, I am sorry all you meeting hall denizens - I didn't get sober for me, I got sober for someone I cared about more - Jimmy. And Jimmy is dead. And that is the point - I don't have another Jimmy it would taketo make me care enough to choose life over bourbon and rum. I must find it in me, and cling to my life, my sober, technicolor life with it's dissappointments, as well as it's joys...

And joys there are, like the ones on here.

Thank you so much for helping me choose life, a dry, crisp, clear life...

Now, back to "Zombieland"