... March I was up to 8 - 30mgs a day. My wife finally busted me and threatened to leave me and take our two kids if I didn't get off of them. So, I quit. Made it 5 days before I went to get help. They put me on Subutex. Stayed on that for 8 months and weaned off of it. I'm now 3 weeks off of subs, I'm past the physical withdrawals but I'm having bad cravings for roxy now. Will this subside over time? Literally the last 3 days all I have thought about is the "high" I got from the opiates and badly I want to feel that again. Help!!
Hi and welcome to the site. First, I want to congratulate you for getting off of the oxy's. Now, I will need to just be straight with you. Your wife gave you an option. You can either have a life with your family, or you can have a life with the pills. Being sober this long it truly is now a matter of the mind and willpower. You are always going to be doing battle with the cravings. I do believe as time goes by the struggle will get easier, but the pills will always be there. That is in your makeup. The propensity for addiction. Just as an alcoholic will never be able to drink again if she/he chooses to remain a sober member of society, the choice will always be there for you to make as well.
Is it fair that some people don't have problems with pills and therefore it is never an issue for them? Can't say. In my book it isn't fair that my mother has suffered breast cancer TWICE in her life. But, she did. Plus diabetes, plus blocked arteries, plus...
So, the real decision is all on you. Do you crave the high more than you crave your family to be whole, safe, healthy and happy?
I think you DO want your family because you have already fought a very hard battle, and that is a tribute to how much you want to be there for your wife and your children.
I have read many statements from people that were so far down into the drugs they thought daylight would never come and now almost 10 years later they are living a drug free life, with family and friends and people that truly care about them. The pills and alcohol are still around, but they choose to never touch them again. For them it did get easier over time but it doesn't go away over night. It is a continual work in progress. To fight this fight every day.
You should plug into an AA or NA meeting somewhere. Get with like-minded people that can relate to your struggle, get a counselor or a person that can hold you accountable and help you in your new found freedom of sobriety and can relate to all that you have been through and understand the hard fight you fought for your family and that you continue to fight for them.
You CAN beat this! I promise! But, it will take all of what you have in you to fight this thing. I encourage you to surround yourself with as many people as you can to help you with this new life so that you will continue to be the man that your wife married and the dad your children deserve.
you CAN do this!
Great answer Jilly... I can't really add much as I agree with everything you say...
Ford... please... for you, for the sake of your family... you know it is not a wise decision to get back on the roxys.
You need to NEVER place yourself in a situation where you are going to be around or have access to roxy or any opiate.
I woke up with severe back pain this a.m. That I was nearly in tears... did I think of pain pills... yes, of course. I talked to a dear friend here on dc and discussed with him my thoughts. He helped me get through... no I would have never refilled the script that I know is still at the pharmacy... but the thought did come to me very strongly because my pain was so great. I took a Toradol and an ice pack and layed back down until i was ok to go to work. Not to get off on my issues...
I guess what I am trying to tell you is that these situations are always going to come up for the rest of our lives. Jilly is right... we all need to be in a good enough program to where we have our solutions to the problem, i.e, a friend, sponsor, or meeting..that we can call or go the meeting, to get us through the craving. You have come too far, you have too much to lose... don't give into the temporary craving that will lead to the temporary high that will lead to the long term addiction to the opiates again... they will once again control your life... is the reintroduction of a roxy into your life for the temporary high worth the taking over your life... because they will... again... you cannot have JUST one... there will ne a bigger price to pay my friend.
I feel that by coming here to post your question you are reaching out... we are here for you... keep coming back if you continue with your craving... we will do all that we can... AND... get yourself some type of sponsor... usually found at a meeting, but not always... my sponsor happens to be my life coach who is also my addiction counselor... but get someone who knows about addiction who will keep you accountable.
I will pray that God will give you strength to stave off these cravings... good luck, my friend... and May God Bless you and keep you
I cannot add anything useful to what Jillynnie and Pup have said. They covered all the bases!
Just want you to know that until you can find a meeting and/or a sponsor, we can help a bit. Not like face to face, but better than nothing!!
I sincerely hope those cravings disappear, yet like alcoholism tis doubtful. Hate to sound pessimistic, yet tis the truth. The truth hurts sometimes!!
Best wishes and keep posting!!!
Ford21 I applaud you for getting to the point to where you know there's light at the end of the tunnel .I am a person who has been prescribed painkillers for many year and its a struggle everyday to try to stay within the amount prescribed. I have a good memory and know that now there's help and awareness that didn't exist in yesteryear. I rmbr when my mom busted my dad. My dad had an addiction with anything that altered his mind. I was little and I couldn't understand why we couldn't be one great big happy family. My mom asked me whether I wanted to go with her or wanted to go with my dad. My mom was always there for me but my dad had his addiction and his love for his addiction was stronger than his love for his family. I grew up always longing for a dad and I know I suffered always wishing and hoping he would come back. Five years later I saw him last . I crossed the street as he layed there soiled, urinated, and shouting obsenities at the world.
Now I often wonder what if , what if he would have gotten help and been able to conquer his addiction... what positive influence he could have had on all had of us... its your call... You Can Do It.
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- Side Effects of Oxycodone (detailed)
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