So whenever i try to self harm. I look up all the details before i do it. I usually try and commit suicide through using pills. And so i look up what are the symptoms of an overdose. I also look up stories about suicide. I think im apart of mostly every self help organization around. I don't know why i do it. Maybe its that im trying to learn about myself and why i do the things i do. Though it doesn't explain the looking up all the information on overdose symptoms. I think that has to do with the fact that when i attempt suicide i don't really want to die so i look up information on the drug to know when ive taken it far.
I know im so weird. Before i was even diagnosed with anything i searched for what was wrong with me cause i knew something wasn't right with my behavior turns out i was dead on close to the diagnosis i was given. Anyone have a similar experience