same). My doc believes that mine is biological kind of melanxolic depression..

Hi there... just an update I talked to my doc today. Actually, I wasn't even able to talk--- no eye contact--nothing. For one our I was only crying. I mention suicidal thought and thinks like that to him, and he wanted to put me in a hospital. I HAVE DONE THAT ONCE AND I WILL NEVER DO IT AGAIN. So we made an agreement--- he promised things will get better, and of course my answer to that was that he is saying sth that is written in his job description--- not because he believes it. He tried to talk to me (kind of psychotherapy) what's wrong--- what's going on, and the weird thing I couldn't find anything to tell him. The only thing that is going wrong, I told him, is that I don't feel connected to my children, and this kills me. I can't stand it anymore that I can't go to the park with my children... So, he suggests that Wellbutrin has made the things worse--- sth that I'm not sure, because I was feeling worse when my dose was increased--but the two days somehow I was feeling slightly better. I explained to him tat because today in particular was a sunny day, and all the mothers were outside with the children, and I was like a zombie --that's why I broke down. Regarding my hormones he things I am too young for that (I will still have my check up). So no Wellbutrin anymore--- stay for a while on the effexor xr--- and we will meet every week because he saw me very distressed. I was trying to tell him--can I have ECT--and he was definitely NO. According to him, I work, I function, I do have energy--- it's ONLY (wow how ironic) about feeling more. So, yes, I promised you for an update and that's it... Oh Sth else he was asking me if I feel a lot of energy and I got irritated--- so is good or bad to feel more energy--- I feel a little below (comparing to my old self) in terms of energy. After if I spend a lot of money, and I was repeating that I have no interest on bying anything--- but anything --- I crushed guys--- when he was asking fo0r my children I started to cry a lot--- I told him I don't care about happiness--I just want to feel a little closer to my angels--- I want my children back--- anything else--- no money--- no houses--- nothing else--- just a ride with my children as it was before... okay my friends --I have to be at work 7:30 a.m so I'm going to sleep... thnx