The person who caused it is my Ex-girlfriend. I took care of her when she put herself into a prescription pain pill stuper for a few months in 2010 (her addiction is over 10 years old I later found out).
I would get up with her smallest child (now 5) in the morning, make sure her older child was up to watch the younger (this child is now on prozac and seeing a therapist~the child who is now 16 also did not want to talk about what happened in fact she said she blocked most of it out but was very upset with me when I tried to talk with her about what we both went through taking care of her Mom) one and her Mother then go to work.
I'd come home from work and take over again feeding, bathing & putting to bed the youngest child as well as my Girlfriend and giving the older child time to spend with her friends to try to be as normal as she could for a while) the things that happened during this time and the fact that it happened at all have caused my ptsd (I'll give more details if you'd like but I really don't like talking about it and have only told a therapist (my gf or her oldest don't even know the half of what went on) the gf doesn't remember anything about the months I took care of her, she doesn't remember the horrible things she did while she was awake for the approx 2-3 hrs a day other than that she slept all of the time while I took care of the children, the house and my job (which I lost because of my emotional state).
But I was thinking although I have cut her out of my life (hardest thing I've ever done because I'm still very much in love with her and bonded very strongly with the kids especially the lil one) I have tried talking with her about it and she just will not really listen to what I'm saying she hears me talking but she isn't listening to just how traumatic it was for me. I was thinking of sitting down and writting out everything I can remember like in a letter form to her and try to explain how it made me feel and why. I know for a fact that I would probably never send the letter but getting it out of my head and telling it directly to her~well as directly as possible (in letter form) do you think it might help me gain a little closure?