I used to be very outgoing and did not worry about what others thought. Now I have been diagnosed with anxiety depression and PTSD from my childhood I am tired of always feeling anxious and scared of what people are thinking or of not having anything to talk about. I would love any ideas that could help me get more comfortable...
First let me say you are not alone. What you have shared sounds like you are describing me. I recommend talk therapy to uncover and resolve the trauma from the past while working on positive outlets for social activity in the present. I have had to slowly reintroduce myself to social situations starting out with the simplest trips to the grocery, working up to joining social groups at church and eventually doing volunteer work in my community. I, also, take medication to help control my anxiety and depression. With the talk therapy and medication, I have been able to almost overcome all my social anxiety. I still have sometimes when I feel uncomfortable and have low levels of fear, but it is alot better than it use to be.
So hang in there and keep working on it, it will get better!!
looneybin22, hello Im' Von-1. I have the same problem. this happen in the blink of an eye a little over a year ago. I ahve come along way, still not there but improving. I don't care what people think, I just care about me and getting well. I have started to venture out some, it took first going on the porch, then the yard. Then riding with my husband to the store, I would sit in the truck. Now I can go to the store and go in. It have to be stores I feel safe in, small stores, I do not go in Wal Mart! I have my days that I can do this its not everyday. You have to put yourself first and fight like you have never fought before. Its hard, I'm not going to tell you its not. Anything that causes you stress, get rid of it even if its a family member. I know alot of things from my past as caught up with me too. I had a normal life for along time, or what I didn't was supress the stuff from growing up. Do you take any meds.
I take xanax and lexapro, the xanax helps with the social anxiety and panic. I will friend you and if you want to be friends just fried me back when it comes up. Good luck and keep in touch. Von-1
Dear Bin: First you are not looney. You have some medical disorders that affect the brain. When I was first diagnosed someone advised me to treat myself like a sick or injured child. If you have to work (I am on disability) find a beautiful stone or poem or saying you can keep in your pocket. Do things at home that feel nurturing: good books, bubble baths, candles, mac'n'cheese, whatever it is for you. Also, stop watching the news or reading the newspapers. Ask a friend to tell you what you need to know. PTSD is cumulative, the more violence we experience, even second hand (like news, violent books or movies) make it harder to recover. As far as being with other people, they mostly love to talk about themselves. Ask about hobbies, this will lead to other conversation and is rarely loaded. Parties or clubs may not be your thing right now--too much noise, lights, motion.
If you want to socialize, choose 4 or 5 close friends for dinner at a quiet restaurant or a backyard bar-b-cue.. Keep talking to your therapist, tell as much of the truth as you can without getting overwhelmed. If your therapist is not a good fit, find a different one. It does get better. Honest. Best to you, Grace
I find that animals help-especially dogs. There are now service dogs for vets that have PTSD and anxiety. People will often talk about my dog, which gives me something to focus on, talk and not be personal-threatening to me. Maybe that's why Paris Hilton carried a Chihuahua with her. LOL. If you aren't allergic to dogs, they've found that people with a pet do better emotionally, respond better to therapy and meds. After my divorce, well meaning people suggested that I get a cat to help me. They didn't realize that if I had a cat, i would have put it in death grip, sat and cried until we died like that. In spring 2010, I had a bad fall from a ladder. I don't think that I'd be walking and getting it out, but the hounds kept pushing me. Look, I had diarrhea for 2 days thinking about going to my credit union and refinancing my car 3 weeks ago. My son is a disabled vet. He loves the hounds so much.
It gives him something to talk about, without talking about his problems. At first, everyone at the VA thought that he lost it, when he talked about the coonhounds. One day we worked on getting other vets and some of the staff out where I pick him up. You could have knocked their eyes off with a stick, when I showed up with 2 80 lb baying coonhounds. One of the times that he was hospitalized, he was really withdrawing, skeptical people, so a nurse asked me to bring pics of his hounds. The new doctors quit bothering him, and most people could relate to him. If you have a dog or don't have a dog-you can ask people if they have one-it usually starts a neutral conversation. I've been invited to so many weddings, graduation parties, etc. and I haven't gone, because everything became paralyzed but my bowel. And this was in a village with 150 people-all friends.
There have been times, when I finally went somewhere, but I drove around the block until I almost ran out of gas. I've gone in several times, and I looked so badly, that I was put at the head of the line-given water, been asked if they should call 911. I try so hard, and seem not to have a problem, but it eats me up at times. When my son has problems, he sits with a hounds head in his lap and rubs their ears.
Good luck to all of you. I want you to know that I think that you're very brave
You've come to the right place,there are so many of us like you,you are not alone in feeling this way!I remember when i was first diagnosed i thought i was the only person going through anxiety feelings,it nearly took over my life and somedays still does! I was put on anti depressants and anti anxieties to help with the panic and depression i fell into due to the anxiety attacks and horrible feelings that i had inside. I too like you always thought about what others were thinking about me,that i was not good enough,i isolated myself away from everyone and everytime i would enter a crowded place i would feel like the walls were closing in on me,i thought i was going mad.
I suggest you talk with your doc about going on some meds to help you through this and maybe when you're ready you could attend some kind of therapy to help you deal with your emotions and learn how to cope with your anxiety.
Anxiety is a struggle and constant battle but i would recomend you go speak with your doc about meds,
You're not alone as i said,we are all here to listen and talk with you if you need a friend.
Take care and i hope you find some relief soon
I really appreciate everyone responding and trying to help your all awesome. My anxiety is more so one on one or small groups i do better with more people around I mean the anxiety is still there but not as bad as one on one. As soon as i am alone with someone I start freaking out!
Hi and welcome!!
I too don't want to call you looneybin!!
Wellbutrin is a great med for certain types of depression yet, when it comes to depression with anxiety it is NOT a good med. At least that is what I found from personal experience, and the best shrink in the state that I live in (the state of Confusion!! lol) confirmed this fact. It seems to exacerbate anxiety.
Perhaps a change in meds might behoove you? Just a thought, something with a calming quality to it, like an SNRI or an old tricyclic?
Xanax or Valium are addictive, yet help greatly with anxiety on a short term basis. I may catch hell for saying that, but tis true!!
Please have a talk with your doc? If your symptoms are not controlled after being on these meds after at least 4 weeks, then a switch may be in order?
Hi looney I'm jaime I'm no expert n this subject. But honestly I think you are already taking a step in the right direction posting on here. There is a lot of wonderful people you can talk to or just listen. You can feel free to to let out anxiety on hear or help others if possible. We like to help when we can or just be here to let you know you are not alone there are many others dealing with situations just like yours and other situations you may have away to help them that you have been in. So please poost on here or private q we can see if we can both get back to being the outgoing people we both use to be together. Jaime}litlmommag ps I added u as a friend I don't know much about you or you about me but it seems we may have a lot in common. Take care hpe to talk to you again soon.
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