I have always believed in natural Amino Acids, and vitamins to help me concentrate and lift my mood. I am naturally a happy person but have so many restrictions in my life that I need alternative medicine to help me succeed at my job and appear normal and positive to people.

I was on DMAE for two years until I had a breakdown and realized I was really unhappy and didnt care what happened to me.

I started Prozac (1 month)
Cons: Constant artificial feeling of hapiness. I felt like without it I was nothing. Ups and downs very moody. I felt like it was too strong for me.

I started Lexapro (1 month)
Cons: Also an artificial feeling of happiness. I wanted to just live and not feel like this is what is making me live. I was still unmotivated. I also gained weight on this drug.

I started Wellbutrin lowest dosage 75 mg a day (3 months on and off)
Pros: Felt motivated again, Lost weight, did not binge eat, I could control myself for once, I wasnt happy but I was okay and not as axious or nervous at work. I was able to get through interviews and presentations.
Cons: my right eye closes on its own sometimes almost like I am tired. I sometimes lose my words and feel forgetful.

The side effect from the Wellbutrin effected my job so I decided to come off of it about a week ago. I started 5HTP which did not help and made me very bloated and gassy. Since coming off the Wellbutrin I cannot control my food intake. Also at work I feel a little fake and come off as agitated.

In the mist of all of this I have been cutting my adderall tablets (5mg) into 2 pieces to deal with the side effects of the Wellbutrin. It does help with the forgetfulness however it makes me irritated and I tend to take my anger out on other people like family and co workers.

As of this morning I took one wellbutrin 75 mg. Because yesterday at work I was so nervous and I have no reason to be.

I am looking for some advice. I am afraid of becoming dependant on any of these drugs. I already take Gleevec for my Leaukemia and I dont want my liver to suffer anymore. If this is not possible at the time then any advice would be helpful. Such as how to deal with the foggy brain of the Wellbutrin. Am I really not giving this medicine a chance because I am too afraid to become dependent on something?

A little back ground below:
I would like to improve
Fogginess, motivation, brain function/ADHD, mood level, weight and food intake control. Energy, and my right eye closing due to the Wellbutrin.
I was diagnosed with Leukemia 11 years ago. I am 25 years old and have a FT job and am in school part time online. I have a very restricted culture that allows me to have min to no social life. This is the underlying reason why these problems and issues have not been able to be maintained or stabilized after so long.

Thank you all! I hope you have a nice weekend.