I have suffered with anxiety and depression for the past several years - I have been diagnosed with everything from MDD, Bi-Polar disorder (although every doc I've seen except the one disagrees with the bipolar diagnosis), Dystymia, GAD, Panic Disorder... the list goes on and on. Anyhow I feel like I have been on every SSRI known to man (except prozac), SSNRIs, and benzos. I spent about a year on effexor and thought that is was maybe possibly helping a tiny bit - but the only thing I ever had true relief with is Xanax. Anyhow my psychiatrist had me on a combination of Xanax XR and Effexor but I was still not seeing the results I wanted. I was also going through Cognitive Behavriol Therapy. I just feel like I've tried it all. Anyhow a few months ago I decided to go off the effexor. I figured I was still very depressed so it wasn't helping much so what was the point of popping the pills. It took me a long time to tapper down but have been off since Jan 25th. After the first few weeks of being off the effexor it was a relief - I didn't feel any better but I didn't feel any worse. After being off now for over a month I have begun to be very angry and cry at the drop of the hat - I feel like I spend all day everyday trying to just hold it together and Im exhausted. Im confused though because all these "feelings" were still there when i was on the effexor... it's just like the effexor didn't let it come all the way to the surface. I would have a short fuse, but be able to hold the anger in. I would feel terrible sadness and like I wanted to cry but couldn't. Im not sure if this makes any sense at all or if anyone has experienced anything similar - im just not sure if i should go back on the meds or not. Any relief I had was minimal, but at least I could hold it together or hold it in. I feel like I am entirely out of options. No more meds to try and the therapy thing just has never worked. To complicate things more, I've seen several psychiatrists over the years and they have all been awful - except one. Everyone I've seen talks to you for 2-5mins tops and then writes a perscription. The last psych I saw was different... he'd spend 20-30 mins talking to me about how things were going and I felt like he truly tried to understand what I was going through. I can't return to the 2-5min people that just write a perscription without even knowing what is going on but the good psych has moved his practice to another city. I had him recommend some docs before he left but they are all either not accepting new patients or don't take my insurence. What do I do??? So frustrated. Also has anyone tried any add-on meds like abilify or seraquel? The psych that I was seeing that i did like didn't want to put me on one of those add-ons because they are newer for depression and he just didn't feel comfortable using them. Anyone have any experience? Btw if it matters I am still taking the xanax xr but in the past few weeks it's effectivness seems to be wanning.