been on valium/diazepam,for over 10 years now,not due to drug misuse,its was down tp ptsd and chronic anxiety..anyway,5 years ago my gp left the surgery,and new one would no longer subcribe me any,so like a idiot,i started buying them off the street..been getting them in strips,or loose,normally when loose there M&A look like 2 A,s crossing over each other..problem that im in now is i dont want to keep buying them,and when i aint got any,im panicking like god knws what..i know im now dependant on them,but im in a bad situation here,that i can only blame myself for,i can hardly go and tell the doctor what i have been foolishly doing..ive been taking 40 mg per day..any advise,as i know its hell weaning myself of them and dangerous..thanks