Ok lets start from the begining. Ive been addicted to pain killers for the past 2 years mostly hyros and percs but the last 3 months its been oxys. I was doing 200mg a day just to feel normal.I had decided to stop after confiding in a close and powerful friend meaning if i touch another i will be in big trouble. So sunday i did by last ocs and monday it was. I did ok through the day until the night then it was fetal positon sweating and the normal i was prepared for. A friend came over and brought me a crumb of suboxone to help so i tool that... then my"friend" came over to sit with me to help mw through well she brought 2 valium i know not to mix the 2 but it was a small dose and i couldnt tell me friend i had taken that she has no idea about addiction and wouldnhave freaked so i took the valium. Felt fine slept great. Day 2 felt great im guessing the sub... Day 3 felt ok got some subutex to help did a little of that..night 3 gave in to oxy i know i know. Day 4 felt fine by about 5 felt bad took 3 ultram then half a xanax. So where am i now? Am i starting all over have i ever been clean im so scared so confused im very young and dont want to go down that road i have 2 small childern i dont want to loose very few ppl know due to my master lying skills and baribe doll face lol perople forget addiction has no face thought. Please help me find my way!!!