I have a history of mental illness, drug addiction, and suicide attempts and am currently in the process of recovery. I have a hard time determining the seriousness of certain situations, as has been pointed out to me by therapists and psychiatrists.

Right now I am trying to figure out if what happened to me the other night was just me having a panic attack or if my body really was having a medical reaction to the drugs I had taken.

I took 500mg Ultram late at night after i had taken my night meds of Lyrica, Prednisone, Topimax, and Flexiril. I ended up feeling crummy, but not as bad as I have felt when I have messed with much worse pills/drugs before so I didn't do anything about it. Then 10 hours after I had taken the Ultram I took my morning meds, which are the same as night meds and also include wellbutrin. That morning up until that point I felt OK and had been actively doing household chores with no problem. Then right after I took my meds I talked to a friend and within 10 minutes it was really obvious I just totally felt myself slipping away in terms of focus and concentration. I started twitching and was jittery in general. I had to lie down. My heart rate was 140 and I was sweating a lot. I told her it was a drug reaction I didn't tell her it was because I had abused the Ultram (which I am not currently prescribed). My heart felt like it was going to pound out of my chest. She went home, I told her I needed to take a nap. I remember lying there and every now and then I would think about my breathing and when I would it would seem like my breathing was very shallow. I couldn'.t tell if it just seemed that way because I was panicking or because my mind was playing tricks on me or what. Anyways after lying there for an hour I felt a little better, but it was rough. I got up but any activity sent my heart rate skyrocketing again and my other symptoms worsened again also. I laid back down and was finally able to relax and fell asleep for one hour. The rest of the day sucked. I felt bad but made it through. Today I feel like I have a hangover.

So was what happened in my head or what? Should I have taken it seriously? I wanted to call the Suicide Prevention Hotline to talk to someone but I knew if I told them they would call 911 on me and I can't go through that any more. I was not trying to kill myself. I was only trying to numb out and turn my brain off for a while. I just want to understand if I was in any real danger or not, if it was really my mind playing tricks on me after all. Thanks