been back and forth between home and a so called girlfriend who i no is a heavy drinker not sure about drugs but my husband of 30 years has really changed trying to figure out if its the drugs or not
Hi, I'm not sure if I understand your question. Is it that your husband has taken pain meds for about 2 1/2 years? If so, what kind? A lot of people may disagree with me, but if you take an addictive narcotic for more than 2 1/2 weeks, most likely you'll be addicted. At least in my experience most people will be. I have been in and out of recovery for 35 years or so. The bottom line is this. Your husband is the only one who can decide if he has a problem or not. Your husband is the only one who can do anything about stopping or getting off of pain meds in order to make your lives together better. The only thing you can do, is suggest, encourage, know when to quit and go to Al-anon. An addict and or alcoholic who refuses to admit they have a problem will die if they don't come to their senses. I hope you don't let him take you with him. Believe me, I made my loved ones lives MISERABLE for many many years. Ususally in order to stop the addict must hit bottom.
One day my 15 year old daughter told me to stop drinking and taking drugs, or she would no longer be my daughter. That was my bottom. good luck and God Bless.
I agree with the above answer in that going to Al-anon will help you learn to recognize the signs of addiction. It will also help you to set boundaries about what behaviors you can, and cannot accept in your relationship. Addiction can take many forms, but almost always results in heartache for the family and friends who love them. Take care of yourself! Regards - ElizaJane
hi laurellhill,sounds to me like your right.if he said 4-5 percs do you mean a day ? well percs dont come in envolopes that say 20- 200. if he gets a perscription for percoset and runs out early then your probably right the 10mg percs cost 10 dollors a piece on the streets.but that's not what you wanted to know is it?you asked if drugs was the reason that he has changed. there more than likely a part of it,how big well only he can answer that question.the back and forth between home and this so called girlfriend,your words not mine. what's up with that? would he let you go back and forth between a so called boyfriend? My guess is no!!! So you gotta decide. you should try to talk to him about this before there's nothing left to talk about. or get the kids together and all of you talk to him. if you do nothing then nothing is going to change.
Not to disagree with anyone, except the person who said that if you take narcotics even for pain you are an addict. That is NOT true, as Eliza has already mentioned. You become physically dependent. Completely different from being addicted!!
Has it occurred to you or him that his pain is worse, and he is self-medicating? Can you go with him to his pain doctor and ask these questions without him automatically thinking that you are concerned he is an addict. (the doctor not your husband). One thing that bothers me though is that you talk about his girlfriend as if it is simply another part of his life. Are you comfortable with that? Do you want to stay with someone who is changing, lying to you and seeing another woman?
I suggest marriage counseling FIRST and foremost. Where is your self esteem? Please, I am NOT judging you, but to put up with a girlfriend and the lies tells me that you are afraid to leave him is need be. Just something to think about. good luck, my heart goes out to you!!
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