I was diagnosed with clinical depression about a year ago, but lately I'm only staring to realise the severity of my illness, and how much my mood can drop and go back up. Two weeks ago I felt really really good for about 5 days, felt like I was never gonna be depressed again and I was getting so much done in school and I was so energetic and happy and motivated and talkative. Then it all just dropped, and I went through one of the most extreme depressive episodes I ever had. My doctor thinks there could be a possibility of bipolar and I do too because despite I felt the antidepressants were working, my mood kept fluctuating from kinda good to bad to okay but irritable to awful to okay and so on. I really don't know what is actually wrong with me, all I do know is that I definitely have depression, just unsure what form of though.
kyle, I would get back to your doctor on this as soon as possible. It does sound like you may be cycling between depressive and hypomanic episodes which warrants a diagnosis of Bipolar II. If you're still cycling on antidepressants it's possible that you may have unipolar depression and the "good" days seem more extreme because of the depth of your depressive episodes.
Hypomanic episodes can be euphoric (energetic, happy, talkative) but in some people they can also be characterized by irritability, anger, and hostility... or both in mixed episodes.
Your doctor may suggest a trial on a mood stabilizer such as lithium, Lamictal, Topamax, etc. Sometimes an antipsychotic like Abilify is added is improve stability.
It's worth a try... don't get hung up on getting a "diagnosis" as the boundaries of mental illnesses tend to blur. What you may need is just a medication(s) that controls your symptoms.
Personally, I was diagnosed and treated for years for Major Depressive disorder until the hypomanic episodes increased. Now, I'm taking lithium and Vraylar and I feel "normal" most of the time.
Stay in touch and let us know how things are going for you, okay?
Thinking that you are mis-diagnosed is similar to what I sometimes feel. The old Jim Morrison quote of "I've been down so long it looks up to me applies". When I find that I have finally come to understand and accept my illness it becomes a revelation. The good feeling is a welcome respite to what I regularly feel and feels like a manic episode. For me it helps to understand that the excessively good feeling I have id not mania but a respite from what I have regarded as normal for so many years. It's OK to feel elated with a new sense of comfort and control that seemed unattainable. If it helps accept it and go with it. No harm in feeling better.
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