This is more of a thank you and update than it is a question. Your prayers and encouragement have all begun to work for me. I have so many blessings going on right now! My psych has finally begun to listen and respond to me. He has given me the meds I need to control some of the fear, anxiety and anger I was suffering (librium 30 mg 2x a day). I now have a home health care aide that comes for 2 hours every morning to help me eat, shower, and keep my place clean. I have been blessed to be accepted into a program that I was part of before when my life was a mess and I was assigned the same case manager. She knows all of the strides I have made in recovery from substance abuse AND mental illness since she last worked with me! She helps me keep all my appts. straight, provides transportation, support and will even come in and talk to the doctors with me! Through her I have found a Primary Care Physician who is willing to help me with pain. I am no longer suffering the unbearable pain I went through for months. At this point they have me on 15mg of oxycodone every 6-8 hrs. up to 4 pills per day. I don't want to go any higher than that as that is keeping me pretty much at a 2 on the pain scale without causing me dysfunctionality. I have many friends helping me monitor my meds and behaviors to make sure I am not slipping back into the abyss of addiction. And finally, after many phone calls, circular conversations and frustration, I have found a doctor who I think is going to be a miracle! I felt comfortable with her immediately, almost like we knew each other already. She spoke to me like I was an educated woman of 46, not a ten-year-old, but she also did not talk "over" me so that I didn't understand half of what she was saying. She held no visible judgement when it came to my psychiatric history or my Substance Dependence Disorder. She informed me that she had 20 years of experience in doing Botox treatments for movement disorders including Tardive Dyskinesia. She set me up with their in-house neurologist with whom she said she will be working closely. She told me all the benefits and possible risks of treatment in an honest, open manner. She answered every question I had with patience and solid information. All I am waiting for now is to hear from her office that the insurance went through. She told me that it may be difficult to get approved, but she also stated, "I've fought with more than one insurance company in my time!" I am so hopeful and feeling so blessed to have had such a wonderful experience with the doctor who may have a profound effect on my life! I attribute all these blessings to the prayers being said for me from DC members, my family in recovery, my family and other friends. Thanks especially to Ruthie and Tee for your unwavering love and support! This is by no means over, but at least I am on a path to treatment, and that gives me hope! Again my sincerest Thanks and Appreciation to all of those that have helped me get to this point, either by helping me or by allowing me the priviledge (sp?) to help you! I love you all, Lisa Z.