History- on Xanax for probably at least 8 years if not longer. Current dose is 1.5 MG per day up to 4 MG a day.

I recently lost my prescription of xanax when I took it out with me this weekend. Unsure if it was stolen or lost. Anyways, lately I have been hating how it makes me feel. No memory, emotionless< go figure, very absent minded, etc. I also felt like it wasn't even working anyways. Probably due to tolerance. So when this happene, I decided this was a "sign" to quit taking it. It's been about 48 hours and I feel awful of course. I started to research this devils drug and now want off it even more. My plan was to go C/T. But today is day 1 of trying to work (I work from home thank goodness) and it started off very badly. During a conference call, I literally couldn't think. I couldn't form words, and I was rushing to come up with some excuse. This scared me, so I put a call into my doctor. They said I can't do c/t and instead want to start tapering me down at 1 MGs for 2 weeks, then .5MG for another 2 weeks. Then none. I almost cried when they said I had to go back on them. I thought I was headed down withdrawal hell and I just wanted to get it over with. Now I feel defeated and feel like in a month after I stop altogether again I'll be back to not being able to work living in hell with all the withdrawal symptoms.

Need advice on whether to stick this out, or go pick up script? Isn't stopping the .5MG dose just as dangerous?