..Hi, all, I was wondering if anyone could give me a full on, no sugar coating, answer to this question. I have been an opiate addict since 2001. Most recently am proud to say I have been clean and sober for 6 months with the exception of my sub maintenance which I have succesfully weaned down to 1 to 1.5 mgs daily with not much ill effects. Was on 8mgs before. I use xanax only on occasion for panic attacks and am on Adderall xr for severe ADD. Mind you I have not used or abuse illicit substances for over five years now, but I am at the end of my rope as far as the suboxone train goes and am just about ready to jump off. I have kicked heroin, and vicodin cold turkey in the past and felt absolutely blissfull after about 7 days of sheer hell. I even went to rehab for the subs w no success. My question is how long will it take for the sub wds to completely subside after stopping at 1 mg, or at the least how long would the worst of it last til I'm able to function normally again? I have been on them for 2 years! And am going through a split up with my sons mom of 9 years. I wake up every morning with thoughts of suicide until I place that tab under my tongue. My quality of life is not very good and I have custody of my son and do everything in my power to give him the best life possible. I just want my life back and am afraid that one day the feelings from the wd insanity will take too much of a toll on me and cause me to do something foolish. I love my 3 year old to death and am trying so hard but I am absolutely powerless over the thoughts that run through my mind when I'm without this medication. I was never a saint and I believe in god yet no amount of praying has been able to free me of this burden, and I am so tired. Any suggestions are more than helpful. I don't know what to do anymore. Thanks in Advance and god bless
HI, I have never been on Suboxone, but I am now and in the past been on Methadone. If you don't want it sugar coated here goes, because the two drugs are so similiar and because my son was on it and xanax and adderall (he is 24) He was addicted to Oxy's, and is now in an impatient drug treatment program. Methadone and suboxone both were designed to get you off one opiate only it seems to be on another. I have kicked Methadone "cold tukey" 4 times that stand out in my mind. The first was I was on methadone and was dismissed form the program that very day. I was in Florida and went to New Hamshire where (at that time) there were no methadone programs, the onther two times I was in jail. You can experience first your legs being restless,tossing and turning and sweating ALOT!. Even though that sounds awful... You will get more sick before you get better.
Your appetite will leave you, but you must drink lots of water, you want to try to flush this stuff out of your body. Your muscles will hurt everywhere and you will feel like you don't sleep at all. You need to make sure you have someone who is willing to help you, shower, shave, brush your teeth. Keep your sheets clean and confortable. Exercise as so as you are able, even if it is ten minutes, This is the easiest way to say this..you will feel likeyou want to die, but you won't. You may experience difficulty sleeping which can go on for about 30 days, so if you feel sleepy anytime, close your eyes. rest when you can You have made alot of progress already, the first being aware that your addiction is out of control (some of the things I say) will come from N.A/A.A books (which I strongly encourage. So, all the puking, the chills, the diarhea, the sweats and the insomnia aside. When you are clean, please go to a 12 step program, you need a sponser, someone who understands how you think. You probably do not want to hear this either but getting clean is easy compared to staying clean My friend, you will find comfort (in your self) and your son! PLEASE liet us know how you are doing. Fall Queen
Hi mannyexcuses, fall queen has given it to you straight up and honestly. She is wise beyond her years, so listen carefully to everything she has written. My greatest concern is your thoughts of suicide. I know that you cannot stop your thoughts, but you can control what you do about them. Fight those thoughts now, and keep fighting them. If you have to, go and stay beside your son. If he is in bed, lay with him and feel him closely; feel his love and the innocence of youth. If he is up, play with him just a little, or sit with him and watch tv. Just stay close to him right now, as close as you can. If anything will give you the will to live, it is that little innocent child of yours. With him, you will find the reason you need. And tell yourself over and over again that you will get through this, not just for him, but for yourself. And in doing it for yourself, you do it for him also.
Let your mind wander into the future you are looking at with him; the ice cream and hotdogs, the football games and birthday parties. Imagine watching him graduate from kindergarten, and how proud of him you will be. And think of the many things you can teach him in the coming years; one of them being the strength and courage to fight the evils in this world that you are fighting now. Teach him that saying no is not the easiest thing to do in this life, but can be one of the most important words to use. You will give him strength and knowledge, and all of the good you have learned in your life so far. And you will grow as he does. Together you will find the peace that you are looking for. It is there. You just have to keep looking and keep trying, and you will come out on the other side of this nightmare, and both you and your son will benefit from a lesson well learned. You will be an even better person than you are now, and your son will not only love you, he will admire you for the strength and wisdom that came so hard. Also, keep praying. God has not abandoned you. Sometimes the answer is right before us, but we just can't see it, so be patient with yourself and with Him if you can. The nightmare will soon come to an end, and then the real fight begins; staying clean. Look up a support group, go to church. My daughter has been clean and sober for 6 years now. She fought hard to get clean and sober. She fights hard to stay that way, but it gets easier each day that goes by. And she gets stronger with each temptation that she says no to (good word that "no"). She has built a wonderful support system in her AA meetings (still goes to them and loves them), and her church friends. There is always someone there for her, any time of the day or night, and they are her Godsend. She now helps newcomers to stay clean. Everyday she thanks Him for the strength and friends and wisdom that came with that very difficult lesson. Her children (two of them) are so proud of her. They were taken from her and she did not try to get clean until she realized that they were her life, not the drugs. She wanted to die too; just give up and let go of all the horrors she was going through and end it right then. But instead, she fought hard and stayed clean, got her kids back, and now goes to college WITH her son, and is with her daughter, the 11 year old going on thirty (if you ask her at 11, she is grown up, you know). She has many times realized, that she is so very lucky to be where she is now. She has health problems to go along with everything else, but manages them very well, and when you look at her, you can see the years of struggle in her face, but you can see even more, the self respect she has, her love for her children and her Lord. You are that strong too. I can hear that in what you've wriiten, and you will find that great will to survive within yourself and in the eyes of your son. I will make you my friend here on drugs.com, as will others who respond to your question. Make us yours back. That way, we will be notified by e-mail that you are posting a question. And once we are friends, you can send private messages if you want. You now have a very great support system of your own. We are here for you now, so anytime of day or night, just come here and post an SOS, and someone will get to you. These are wonderful, caring, helpful people, who have either been there or are there now, and we help each other. You can be one of us if you want, but still try AA and church. You will need that also, and your son will benefit from the good and positive people you bring home for him to get to know. I'm sorry this is so long. I'm kind of known for my rather large sized mouth, but it takes me a little more to get out what I'm trying to say. God bless and keep you... I am beanmarie
mannyexcuses, the only thing I can tell you is Fall Queen and Beanmarie are my very dear friends. They both have been through hell and back yet still have so much compassion and willingness to help others in need. They, once again, have amazed me with their unselfish commitment to help others. Trust me when I say they will do whatever humanly possible to help you through this. I can not tell you how much they have helped and supported me in the many crisis's and issues in my life. Both emotional and 'common sense' support from these 2 have brought me back from the brink of despair and hopelesness. I truly believe devine intervention brought me to Fall Queen and Beanmarie. Please listen to their words with an open mind and heart. My best wishes to you. You are off to a good start! chris
There is not much more I can say to what the excellent responses you will get from and got from my friends. They have been through it. I have been through it. But yes staying clean is a daily struggle. I just wish I could help more. Mannyexcuses this site has made a major difference in my life. To know there is a place to go where people will listen and give advice. Some will go so far as to becoming a personal friend. Someone you can call to talk when you are at your weakest. I wish dearly that one day I can have children. It is not something that can be done alone and that love you feel for your child is so precious... Take care of yourself so that you can Take care of your child. If you are in pain then don't back away from relief, if you feel better then your child will be better. Good Luck to you Mannyexcuses and PS to all my friends here you have again lifted my spirits and that is from you answering someone else's questions. Thank you for your heart felt answers. Bertram
Hey mannyex, Not everyone who stops addictive substances gets depressed, anxious, or suicidal, but enough people do, and it should b listed as a side effect of the process. There is also something called Anhedonia, the lack of finding pleasure in anything, does that sound like it might also b somethhng u r suffering thru? I sure have my times with it. My counselor caught it in me and made me c my doctor, I was placed on a low dose of Prozac, I am very sensitive 2 antidepressants, they can make me manic, and I am not bi-polar. with me, meds 4 depression work quickly, but the counseling works better long term. You do have a lot on ur plate and r probably overwhelmed, depressed, scared, confused, anxious and grieving. The opposite of grief is hope and how u will get 2 that point is part of the process in getting better.
Believe it or not, if you start walking 4 ten minutes a day and slowly increase it by a few minutes a day, it will not only produce endorphins that will make u feel better, it also helps reboot the damaged signal senders and receptors in the brain that fail when we take pain meds 4 too long. That system fails then and the whole body tries 2 bypass that connection and we feel withdrawal, all those messages the body sends 2 the brain saying SEND SOME RELIEF. Until the damaged parts of the brain heal and come back online, we feel the various pangs of withdrawal. With subs, it may b a different symptom 4 each person, and each person feels it 4 a differemt amount of time. I 2 am trying to get off subs, and the walking helped me tremendously. If u can't walk 4 any reason, find something u can do to help release the endorphins. That might lift some of the depression 2. And do talk 2 a therapist as well as us. We care.d
Hi Manny, I would have answered you sooner, but I've been on vacation.
I know how you feel, I didn't do the suboxone route, I cold turkeyed off of prescribed OxyContin, and a picnic it was not! The depression you feel is common when WD'ing. Please talk to your doc about an anti-depressant, I took one for a short time and it helped immensely! Please do not wait for it to "get better"... your child needs you.
I swear to you, there is life after opiate dependence/addiction, I am walking talking laughing proof of it! You are going to feel so damned good once you stop taking the subs. It just takes a while, but each day gets better and better!
Fall Queen told you the horrors of the physical stuff that you'll go through.
Please google Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome, so you can learn what is happening to your brain and emotions when you are off the subs. Knowledge is power.
Wishing you only the best!!!
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